I am a straightforward person, but you should take it seriously.

Perhaps we can always see this kind of people around us. They seem to regard their true temperament as their label.

They always seem to be "outspoken", using the guise of "I speak outright, but don't forget to keep it in your heart" to practice what they say.

But in fact, there is nothing worthy of understanding in the so-called "straight talk". On the contrary, it is a sign of low emotional intelligence.

The so-called "speaking directly" is nothing more than speaking openly. Sometimes, simply changing the way you speak can make things develop more smoothly.

Xiaoxuan, who is in primary school, is a slightly fat child. Passing by the canteen on the way home from school, he clamored for his mother to buy him snacks.

Xiaowen, who was passing by, saw this and shouted to his friends: "Look at what Xiaoxuan eats, no wonder he is so fat."

Xiaowen's mother hurriedly asked Xiaoxuan's mother The mother apologized: "Our children are like this. Don't mind if they speak outright."

But just because of this "outspoken" sentence, Xiaoxuan was depressed for several weeks, and even started to worry about his figure. And inferiority complex.

Another time, I went to a friend’s house for dinner. My friend's child is 9 years old. It's rare for my friend and I to cook during our busy schedule. He stayed in bed the whole time and didn't even say hello.

Finally, the carefully prepared rice was served. When the food came into my mouth, I was about to say that the craftsmanship was really good. However, my friend’s child put down his chopsticks and yelled: “It tastes too bad.” My friend was also startled and quickly added: “The child speaks frankly, please don’t take it seriously.”

But in the hearts of each of us who attended the dinner, there was a cold sweat behind our backs.

“Straightforward”, does it really mean that he speaks freely?

2. "Straight-tempered" = arrogant?

In "If You Are the One", there is a male guest with a very handsome face, but he is very "straight" in speaking. A female guest raised her hand and asked, "What do you think of me?" The male guest just glanced briefly and responded immediately: "I have a straight temper, so I will tell you the truth. You look good, But the IQ is really not flattering, and the questions asked are really poor." Halfway through her words, the female guest turned off her lights.

When the male guests' lights were turned off and left the stage, Meng Fei sneered: "Who taught this kid to talk? It's your great luck that the female guests didn't follow him today."

Rather than being straightforward, they are more arrogant. Not to mention empathizing with others, they don’t care or understand other people’s feelings. How can such a person be liked?

The so-called "straight-tempered" is also a kind of double standard. When you speak, you don't think about it, and you don't consider other people's feelings at all. After you say it, you want others to forgive you and make others forgive you. I feel like I am candid and sincere.

But since you don’t want to understand and feel other people’s moods, why do others understand your character? Thinking that you are frank and approachable is just naive and naive.

Rather than being straight-tempered, it is better to say that he cannot speak and is uneducated.

3: Being "straight-tempered" may also be a kind of jealousy

Many people who are "straight-tempered" may actually be jealous because they are jealous of a certain aspect of you. Better off.

We sometimes encounter this situation. Some people don't understand your business and will start to exclude you. Those who say: "I'm doing this for your own good, don't mind it" are always criticism or venting. No one ever tells you what to do.

These people are not really bad, but have low emotional intelligence. They also regard this low emotional intelligence as their frankness and straightforwardness, saying uncomfortable things and feeling complacent.

On the contrary, those who are really helpful to us will often understand your feelings from your perspective and then give you advice based on considering you.

4. Why do we have to fight over things that can be communicated calmly?

We always have this kind of experience in our lives. This is a problem that can be solved by a simple discussion, but we don’t know where the fuse is lit. The dispute not only leads to possible quarrels, but also It also inexplicably delayed the resolution of the entire problem.

Cai Kangyong said in the book: "Speaking is something that can be continuously improved, as long as you rely on yourself and put a little effort.

Although speaking will inevitably involve others, just like driving on the road, you will inevitably encounter people who may be rude or unreasonable. But we can’t just drive recklessly because of others, because it concerns our own happiness in life. Others may not take rampage seriously, but it is our own responsibility to speak out, and no one can speak out for us. ”

Sometimes, we just need to express ourselves in another way, and things could become simpler.

Language is just an expression of one’s own emotions, and it can also bring people Corresponding emotions. If your words are violent, others will also become angry. Your warmth will make others feel like a spring breeze, and others will embrace you with warmth. The warmth of your words can also hurt others like nails. .

Please treat others with kindness and don’t be a so-called “straight-tempered person”