What are the jokes in English?

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says: "School-Go Slow".

Translation:

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I walk around the corner, I see a road sign: School-Go slow.

2. Useful methods

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I just ate an apple, Dad.

Father: What does that matter?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apples.

Translation:

Dad: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I just ate an apple, Dad.

Dad: But what does this have to do with drinking water?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apples.

These are my jeans.

After dieting, a woman feels very good about herself-especially when she can put on a pair of jeans that she couldn't put on a long time ago.

"Look, look." She shouted and ran downstairs to show her husband. "I can wear my old jeans again."

Her husband looked at her for a long time and said, "honey, I love you, but these are my jeans."

Translation:

A woman feels particularly good about herself after losing weight for a period of time-especially when she can put on jeans that she couldn't wear a long time ago. She ran downstairs and shouted to her husband, "Look, look. I can put on my old pants again. " Her husband looked at her for a long time and then said, "honey, I love you." But those are my pants. "

A monkey and a flea

Mom: Honey, what's the difference between a monkey and a flea? Baby: One is big and the other is small.

Mom: Anything else?

Baby: monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys

Translation:

Mom: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

Son: They are one big and one small.

Mom: What else?

Son: Monkeys can have fleas, fleas can't have monkeys.

5. Headache

"I have a terrible headache. I went to see a doctor. "

"Nonsense, I had a headache yesterday. I rushed home and kissed my wife, and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try? "

"Good idea. Call your wife and tell her I'll be right there."

Translation:

"I have a terrible headache. I'm going to see a doctor. "

"Nonsense, I also had a headache yesterday. I rushed home and kissed my wife, and the pain stopped immediately. Why don't you try? "

"Good idea. Call your wife and tell her I'll be right there. "