Child procrastination: countless parents suffer! A wonderful case of breaking ice (1)

"Procrastination refers to the failure of self-regulation. It is still an act of delaying what you plan to do when the consequences can be expected to be harmful. Procrastination is a common phenomenon. According to a survey, about 75% of college students think they sometimes procrastinate, while 50% think they always procrastinate. Severe procrastination will have a negative impact on the physical and mental health of individuals, such as strong self-blame and guilt, constant self-denial and degradation, accompanied by psychological diseases such as anxiety and depression. Once this state occurs, it needs to be taken seriously. "

"DuDu. Dudu "I picked up the phone, and an anxious mother's voice on the other end said," Miss Wang, help me, I'm going to collapse. " I said: Don't worry, speak slowly. My mother said: My son is facing the senior high school entrance examination in the third grade, last semester and one year later, but he wakes up many times every day and is often late. Doing homework is also a constant delay. Start cooking after dinner, and you can't finish it in the morning 1. Teachers always invite parents. I was criticized by my teacher for being thick-skinned and having no self-esteem. The most terrible thing now is that the teacher asked our parents to contact other schools to transfer. I'm really confused. I don't know what to do. Help me! I discussed with this mother, communicated with my son first, and made an appointment for parents to bring their children to face-to-face consultation on weekends.

I met this family of three at three o'clock on Saturday afternoon. Xiaohua, 15-year-old son, feels very tired, his eyes are confused and his face is very poor. Mom is impatient and dad is flustered. Through the communication with parents, I learned that my son has been dragging his feet in everything since he was a child. His parents have been following him. From getting up to eating breakfast, doing homework, and even changing clothes and taking a shower, he has been calling endlessly, urging him and forcing him, but it has no effect at all. Until he graduated from primary school, his father helped him put on clothes and trousers every morning. Anyway, he gets angry when he is in a hurry and can't learn. In order to let him go to school, his parents had to compromise and everything depended on him. The grades in primary school are barely passable, and now none of them pass. No wonder the teacher has to transfer to another school.

The child is introverted, saying nothing, just sitting in a daze. At this time, I said to the child: Xiaohua, the teacher actually understands you. I'm sure you must be unhappy, uncomfortable and don't want this. You also want teachers to like you and classmates to respect you, right? Xiaohua nodded hard. I said, the teacher won't laugh at you. The teacher just wants to help you be happy. Can you tell the teacher your grades in each course? Xiaohua told me that math is the worst 14 and history is the best 39. I asked Xiaohua, do you want to transfer to a worse school? Think you can't even get a junior high school diploma? Xiaohua replied: I don't want to turn. He is afraid of the new environment and doesn't want to get a junior high school diploma. I said, if the teacher has an idea, it is not difficult. As long as Xiaohua works harder, he can graduate from this school without transferring. Is Xiaohua willing to try? At this time, I saw Xiaohua's eyes lit up and answered that she was willing to listen to the teacher's method.

to be continued

I am a psychologist with 10 years of practical experience, and I am good at psychology of emotion (marriage, parent-child relationship, adolescent growth, interpersonal relationship in the workplace, social barriers, etc. ) objective and scientific cognition and reasonable and effective actions are the foundation of our growth, and companionship is a kind of equality and respect. I am willing to accompany my friends and make progress together.