Happiness shared with the wrong person becomes a show off

Text｜Heartbroken Paper Man

Do you feel a sense of loss that you can’t find anyone to share your happiness and mood with even though you have searched through the list?

Do you often post happy things to Moments and unhappy things to Moments, but gradually you no longer like recording your life in Moments? So the circle of friends is opened and closed again?

Have you ever stopped liking chatting, or expressing yourself to others, whether you are happy or unhappy? I comfort myself that this is called maturity.

In fact, you were not like this before. You used to be good at communicating, getting along with your friends, and getting to know everyone. You were known as a "little social expert" in the world, as if the whole world was your friend, and everyone chatted with you. Come. You used to post and record every happy and unhappy thing. However, now I have deleted it again and again, wrapping myself up like a hedgehog far away from harm. When people ask you what's wrong, you say it's okay, but you have recently understood something: Sharing happiness with the wrong person becomes showing off, and sharing sadness with the wrong person becomes hypocrisy.

- 01.

My friend A is a lively, cute and straight-tempered girl who is very popular. Finally, Little A lived up to expectations and found a sunny, handsome and loving Prince Charming. The two are a perfect match in terms of looks, temperament and character. Ever since they got together, the voting circle has been celebrating for weeks. It’s not where to eat today, where to watch a movie or where to play tomorrow. The delicious food and beautiful scenery coupled with the beautiful photo of the two of them are really enviable to others. At the beginning, we all specially wished them both special wishes, and even said teasingly, "Good luck getting pregnant soon," "Caught off guard, a handful of dog food," and so on. The two of them were extremely in love, so they happily accepted it, and they happily showed off in various ways every day. What about "Good morning, moma", "Good night, little Gongju"... all kinds of selfies. So over time, we developed the habit of giving a thumbs up every time we saw it, and then lined up in a formation, "I've received the dog food, I'm so full."

However, I haven’t seen Little A being so mean in recent days. I was very worried when I opened her Moments and found that all the posts showing affection were deleted. I was frightened and thought they had broken up, so I sent a private message to Little A: "What's going on with you recently? Why don't you let the dog food go out?"

"It's okay. My boyfriend and I are fine. That's it." I feel sorry for you, I shouldn’t show off in front of you all the time.”

“Wow, I finally realized that I know how to care for us singles!” I joked.

"Do you even think so?" It took me a long time to receive this reply. Along with a pouty expression.

"I...that's not what I meant." I was a little helpless.

“Before, someone couldn’t stand it and commented below about what kind of show to show. Who doesn’t have a boyfriend? It’s amazing to have a boyfriend. He’s really unskilled and pretentious. He posts every day and pollutes me. "Friends Circle!" Little A said sadly. I was helpless and didn't know how to comfort her. I just told her to live her own life and don't care about other people's opinions. People who understand you will naturally understand your happiness.

-02.

In fact, when I was comforting her, I suddenly thought of myself. I am tone-deaf but I really like singing. I occasionally sing on National K-Song, and then I also teach myself ukulele and record short videos and post them to the space. But one day when I picked up the ukulele and wanted to play it, my roommate couldn't stand it anymore. He said it was too unpleasant but he kept playing it and even sent it into the air, as if he was showing off his talent. It was so cool.

After hearing this, I was so angry that I cried. No matter how much they tried to persuade me or apologize, they couldn’t get over it, because one of the things that made me happy was described as “composing”. I really couldn’t bear it. . Although we all have a very good relationship with roommates, you will feel angry and sad when someone you care about says that to you, so I vowed never to post videos in the space or play ukulele when they were in the dormitory. Only when they were not in the dormitory did I take out my Xiaoyou and practice alone. As soon as I heard them coming back, I immediately put it away and stopped singing and playing.

I used to like singing when I encountered unhappy things, because I felt that only music could save me from loneliness. There would always be a lyric or a melody that would help me get out of trouble. Therefore, when I learn a song, it is a very happy thing. I think all the sadness has gone away. However, when I share this happiness, some people think that I am just showing off...

One day long after that, a friend asked me why I didn’t post playing and singing videos, and I said nonchalantly, “I don’t have time!”

A few days ago, I accidentally came across a secret while scrolling through space updates: "What's so great about being admitted to Shanghai XXX University? What's there to show off?" I thought about it for a moment, yes, it’s time for the annual release of college admission notices, but there is such a secret filled with jealousy and fireworks appearing in my space. I am really grateful that I have such a friend. Pity. So, I turned off the function of viewing secrets in the space updates, and then rarely visited the space. I only went to a few friends' spaces to see their recent living conditions, and I stopped browsing other people. Because I gradually discovered that I have many friends who I have never spoken to who are just "like friends". We have never had a heart-to-heart relationship, and we have no idea about the three views and discord, but we exist silently in each other's lists. What a terrible thing.

This secret suddenly reminded me of something that happened a long time ago. There were a few outstanding junior high school classmates. When I got in touch after the college entrance examination, I actually learned that several of them had been admitted to Qingbei. I was particularly Be happy, show off to your friends, and look, my junior high school classmate was admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University! As a result, there were not many squeaks, and some people laughed at me: What a big deal, as for making a fuss? It’s not like you passed the exam, aren’t you still an ordinary undergraduate? They won't remember you until they become famous...

I was speechless and suddenly understood how valuable friends with the same views are. At least you won't attract cynicism when you share happiness. Yes, I am not as outstanding as them, I am just an ordinary undergraduate student, but those are my good friends in junior high school, can’t I be happy for them? They also took turns inviting me to dinner, and they would humbly ask me for advice when it came to knowledge that was beyond their field of study, instead of "looking down on me" as others said. Perhaps, this is also a necessary quality for them to be admitted to prestigious schools.

There is a school girl who likes traveling very much and has been to many places. Some people praise her, others envy her, and some say she shows off her wealth. In fact, those who really know her will know that this is all pocket money she earned from part-time jobs.

There is a senior who really likes to take pictures and has very good photo-taking skills. I even pestered him to become his apprentice. Some people asked him to take photos, others asked him to open a studio, and some said he stole pictures from famous photographers on Weibo. But no one knows that he photoshops every day until midnight with red and swollen eyes. He studied PS for three or four years, saved up money to buy a SLR, and opened a photography studio of his own.

Someone once said: You can’t hold back your love and cold. But I think there is "happiness" besides that. When you are happy, you will laugh happily and want to share it with others and convey this happiness to more people. What we don’t know is that not everyone is happy to accept your happiness.

You can close your eyes if you don’t want to see things, hold your breath if you don’t want to smell things, and shut up if you don’t want to say things, but you can’t close your ears if others say what you don’t want to hear. So when you share your happiness, some people listen attentively and become happy with you after listening, while others are not interested and have no choice but to listen to it anyway, and then they are confused about your happiness.

Happiness will only amplify if it is shared with the right people. On the contrary, if it is shared with people who have different views, it will be rejected and it will become a show off.

I hope that your happiness will be understood by others, and that your sadness will be understood by others. May there be no showiness and pretentiousness in your life, and may all your stories have an audience who understands you!