Olympic jokes

Most people enjoy the Olympic Games through TV, but sometimes TV brings a lot of jokes to the audience. The following is a commentary record from a TV station during the 2000 Sydney Olympics:

1. Women's 69kg weightlifting competition: "The two Bulgarian athletes participating are indeed from Bulgaria."

2. Tang Lin won the judo gold medal, award ceremony: "Tang Lin has a nickname called 'Hot Girl', a word that only people in the world who are familiar with Beckham know."

3. Badminton men's singles final: "Ji Xinpeng feels good today? The so-called feel in a badminton match is the feeling of the ball hitting the racket."

4. During the men's volleyball group match between the United States and Russia, they discussed the development trends and current technical and tactical characteristics of the men's volleyball team, and summarized it as: "The tactics of the men's volleyball team are getting simpler and simpler now."

5. It was still the match between Russia and the United States men's volleyball team. Russia was leading 2-1. By the time of 22-15 in the fourth game: "The United States team is playing like this, and it can only heal a dead horse with a living horse."

< p>6. Praising the TV director: "This director is very unique. He captured such a scene in the audience: one man, one woman, one fat, one thin, which is very interesting."

7. Talking about the men's volleyball game: "As soon as the pass is passed, it will be difficult for the back row to defend."

8. "France beat New Zealand by 14 points 76-50."

9. When commenting on the Chinese and American softball games: "The rules of handball are relatively complicated, and it is difficult to judge without being there."

10. When China won its 20th gold medal: "The total number of gold medals in the Chinese team rose to 20th."

11. During the live broadcast of the men's volleyball team Brazil vs. Cuba: "Now the Brazilian players are eating bananas during the break. Athletes eat bananas on the court mainly to replenish body feces. Oh! Sorry, it is to replenish physical strength and water..."

< p>12． When the Chinese women's volleyball team faced the Russian women's volleyball team: "Now the Chinese women's volleyball team leads 9 to 10."

13. The Chinese and German women's volleyball teams competed for fifth place. The explanation was as follows: "(At the beginning of the game) the Chinese team lost to the Russian team by a slim margin of 6 points in 3 games; (during the game) the Chinese team led the German team 22 to 23; (Towards the end of the game) The Korean team coach called a timeout (actually the Korean coach of the German team)?

Olympic Anecdotes (1)

Reduce weight

During the 1948 London Olympics, Argentinian weightlifter Barris was tested and his weight exceeded the competition level before participating in the 52kg competition.

What should the Argentine team coach do? He used a clipper to shave Barris's head. The coach wiped Barris's body vigorously with a towel to remove the mud. Some players said to him: "If you shed some tears, you will lose weight." "

I pushed him to a bald head, rubbed the mud, and cried, but my weight still did not meet the standard. I checked the scale again and found that there was an error. Barris participated in the competition with a bare head.

The secret to growing taller

A reporter once interviewed basketball star Battelle: "Mr. Battelle, do you have any secret to growing taller?

Battle said: "Mr. Reporter, you'd better ask Yao Ming, he is taller than me." ”

The Revenge of the Matador

In Madrid, a bullfight had just ended. In this game, a famous matador was seriously injured and he had just been carried into the Not long after he arrived at the hospital, he was seen walking out of the hospital with bandages all over his body.

“I must take revenge. "The matador shouted to the many admirers gathered in front of the hospital. Then he began to walk forward along the street, and people followed him closely, wondering what he was going to do.

The matador walked into a house Sitting at a table in the tavern, he then ordered the waiter: "Give me two portions of roast beef. The more roasted the better. ”

A perfect shot

Fans: Your players’ shots in the game were either low or wide. How do you improve the accuracy of their shots?

Coach: I punished the players who fired anti-aircraft guns during the game and kept practicing shooting at one point.

Fans: What is the effect? ??

Coach: The accuracy has greatly exceeded mine. Imagine them all firing the ball right at the opposing goalkeeper for the rest of the game.

If it doesn’t work, you’ll get a refund.

After the first class, the instructor of the skydiving modeling school asked the students if they had any questions.

“How much do we have to pay for each dance?” a student asked.

"10 dollars!" the coach replied.

Another student looked a little nervous and stood up and asked: "What if the parachute cannot be opened during skydiving?"

"Don't worry, if the parachute cannot be opened, we will take care of it." The money will be refunded to you." The teacher replied.