Joke, be funny

Q: A puppy died while traveling in the desert. How did he die?

A: He suffocated to death because there were no telephone poles to pee in the desert.

Q: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telephone pole, but still suffocated to death. Why?

A: "No urination allowed here" is posted on the telegraph pole.

Q: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telegraph pole with nothing posted on it. In the end, I was still suffocated, why?

A: Many puppies were waiting in line and didn’t wait.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing attached to it, and even though it was queued up, it still suffocated to death. Why?

A: Because there are two beautiful dog girls behind him, he is embarrassed.

Xiaobai looks a lot like his brother, do you know why?

Because: it really looks like Dabai

One day, Xiaoming, who was in kindergarten, ran up to his father and said, "Dad "Dad, what rises from the east and sets from the west?" "Well, it's the sun?" "No, no, five words!" Dad thought for a moment and said, "Oh, no, five words?" ! Just those five words!" Dad thought for a long time and couldn't think of it. . . . At this time, Xiao Ming said: "... stupid, it's the sun!!!"

There is a mosquito that only bites; rats, cows, tigers, rabbits, and dragons Snake, horse, sheep, monkey, chicken, pig gt;, what is the name of this mosquito?

Pudding dog (

Does not bite dogs)

Stars. Moon. Sun Which one is mute?

Stars, because: There is a sentence in Lu Binghua's song "The stars in the sky don't speak

What's the last name of the pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) Pencil

What are the surnames of Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang's mothers?

"Ji" gave birth to Yu, and "He" gave birth to Liang

Who is Hongdou's child? ?

A: Southern Country Because: "Red Bean" comes from "Southern Country"

In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit, and she proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit:

"Ah, little rabbit, do you know how nice it is to have a long neck? Do you know how fresh and sweet those top leaves are? ． ． ． Do you know how cool it is when you drink cold water in the summer and feel the coolness of the water slowly passing through your neck? ． ． ． oh. ． ． "

The rabbit glanced at her and only said: "Have you tried vomiting? "

Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people?

Because the person they were playing was called "Mahjong"

Hey, Once upon a time there was a eunuch......

What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and falling from the 20th floor? ~

From Falling from the 2nd floor! Ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Falling from the 20th floor Come down~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Boom

How did Lin Daiyu die?

Falled to death, because, "Sister Lin fell from the sky"

One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid kid? Dad said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?" ”

Little A said to little B: Damn...it’s raining outside!! Did you see that?

Little B was very excited: Yes, I saw you. What?

The little snake asked the big snake in a panic, "Brother, are we poisonous?"

The big snake said, "Why do you ask?" "

The little snake said: "I accidentally bit my tongue just now.

”

The tortoise and the hare are racing... The hare quickly ran to the front..

The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: You Come up, I will carry you...

Then... the snail came up...

After a while, the turtle saw another ant and said to him: You come up too...

Then the ant also came up.

After the ant came up...he saw the snail above and said "hello" to him

p>

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

A man and a woman are having dinner

The girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and continued to eat dinner

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me? Don’t you love me?

The boy finally said: I love

The girl asked again: How do you prove it?

Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan from his pocket Come out,

Ask the girl: Do you have ten yuan?

The girl took ten yuan and gave it to the boy...

The boy gave forty yuan. On the table

After a while...

The girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said I have proven it!!!

Forty (facts) are in front of me!

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There were a lot of ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant, so he asked Xiao Ming: How do you say ant?

Xiao Ming looked confused... and said:

Ant he... said nothing

A man left home to go to work on Friday afternoon, which was payday, so he did not go home and stayed out all weekend. Partying with friends and spending his entire salary

When he finally got home on Sunday night, his furious wife was waiting for him, blasting him for what he had done. After nearly an hour, his wife stopped nagging and asked him: "How would you feel if you couldn't see me for three days in a row?"

He replied: "I would. Very good."

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday also passed, and he still did not see his wife.

By Thursday,

the swelling had subsided a little, and he could finally see his wife a little bit from the corner of his left eye.

What did a shark become when it ate mung beans?

Mung bean paste (shark)

What did the mung beans become when they fell from the 20th floor?

Hongdou (bleeding because of the fall)

Electrical appliances hold a joke telling contest,

It is stipulated that each appliance must tell a joke,

And it made every audience laugh,

Otherwise, he would be arrested and taken to Aruba. The first person to appear was the washing machine.

As soon as he finished telling the joke, the whole audience burst into laughter.

Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say: "It's so cold~~~"

p>

So the washing machine was taken to Aruba. Next up was the smartest computer. As soon as he finished telling his joke, all the household appliances burst out laughing.

The rice cooker was also heard saying: "It's so cold~~~"

p>

So! The computer was also taken to Aruba.

The third place is the most humorous desk lamp.

After the desk lamp told the joke very confidently, everyone was rolling on the ground laughing.

The rice cooker He also said: "It's so cold~~~"

Just when the lamp was about to be taken to Aruba,

the rice cooker stood up angrily,

Turn around and said to the refrigerator sitting behind him:

"I've had enough of you. Just smile. Don't open your mouth so wide. It's very cold."

The day before yesterday, I As soon as I entered the house, I found a hundred yuan bill on the table in the living room.

I usually don’t have much pocket money. Could it be that this time my mother was merciful and gave me a hundred yuan pocket money?

I couldn't help but feel happy...

But when I picked up the one hundred dollar bill, I found a note underneath.

It says: "Today is grandma's birthday, wait for me at home, and we will go to celebrate grandma's birthday together.

Attention! The one hundred yuan is not for you, it is to attract your attention, please Put it back where it belongs!”

I will tell you a touching story

Get out of here! (The story of chasing people away)

Zhu Bajie was making out with Chang'e on the moon. Suddenly a black shadow passed by. Zhu Bajie hurriedly picked up the nail rake and chased him out. After a while, he came back. Said: Damn, Yang Liwei...

The hospital has set up 100 channels to prevent patients from escaping, but two mentally ill patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei worked hard

to climb over the wall. At the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?",

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

At the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"No." So the two continued to turn outwards,

p>

Go to the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Tired"

"Okay, let's turn over Go back"

Chocolate and tomatoes fought, and chocolate won.

Why?

Because of the chocolate bar~