Somebody tell me some classic disgusting jokes ~!

1. A coal seller and an egg seller got into a fight. Everyone looked around and asked curiously why. The egg seller said, "Is there anyone like him?" I shouted: Eggs! "He immediately shouted:" Coal (not) sold ~ ~! ! "

2. One day, eating in a rice noodle shop was slow and hungry. Finally, I couldn't bear to strike the table and roar. I wanted to say no to rice noodles, so I lifted the table! The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "The whole store was silent for three seconds, and then laughter broke out under the table ... shame. ...

3. Once I went to buy mutton skewers, I stretched out four fingers and said to my boss, "Three mutton skewers." The boss got "how much?" I held out three more fingers and said "four" ...

A man said to a woman, "I invite you to dinner." The woman said, "Some other time."

A widow went to buy cucumbers and told her not to slice them, but the cucumber seller forgot to slice them. When the widow saw it, she scolded, "Do you fucking think I'm a money bucket?"

6. Roll call after class. If you don't come, your final grade will be deducted 50 points! When I saw a brother, I jumped over inexplicably, and he shouted, "Teacher, you are beside the point!" " "The old teacher over sixty bowed his head and said," No ~ "

7. A woman took the train, her period came, and there was no place to return the sanitary napkins ... In desperation, she opened the window and went out! Just hit a farmer's face, and the farmer touched his face and said after reading it. I use a fork. .. the train is fast. If I get another piece of paper, I'll be covered in blood! ! ! !

8. I play basketball in high school. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball, A shouted to pass it to him, but B threw it himself. As a result, A shouted angrily. I was really blind just now ...

In my impression, the monitor of the primary school is extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. After several times of maintaining order, the monitor was finally fed up. He stood up, patted the table and shouted, whoever makes any more noise will break his mouth! ! ! ..... class be quiet.

10. I just went to college for military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"