Comment on the composition course of character action description

1. Primary school students' writing teaching evaluation language

Enhance students' confidence and interest.

2. Bind students' excellent compositions into a book, so that students can feel the joy of harvest. When the students saw their excellent compositions neatly bound together with beautiful illustrations, they were so happy. If we organize everyone to circulate and communicate with each other in class meetings, students' enthusiasm for writing will be unprecedented.

3. Design games in a planned way, edit and direct sketches, organize outings and other activities. The practical activities that students personally participate in are often talked about. At this time, letting students write about the experiences and feelings of practical activities will naturally be full of interest. Students have the desire to write, and teachers must protect them. Even if some students write "three or two running accounts", teachers should not blame perfection, so that students feel that writing is not "difficult to go to heaven", which will greatly enhance students' interest and confidence in composition. 2. A Chinese teacher said in the composition evaluation class that describing a character should grasp his appearance and personality < P > Beethoven's posture is extremely ugly. Big head, short body, difficult to smile on the face, and extremely clumsy movements. Once he wanted to learn to dance, but he couldn't follow the beat. It is reported that the reporter said that his facial expression is often cold and depressed. He is five feet four inches long, with wide shoulders, pockmarked face, rough brown face and hard straight nose. The fingers are short, and the five fingers are slightly equal in length, and the back of the hand has long hair. I have black hair, never wear a comb, never wear a hat, and often go out for a walk with my hair down. On windy days, his hair is blown like a flame. People met him in the middle of nowhere, and he was suspected to be a demon in hell.

That's what celebrities say about him.

He is short and bloated, with a strong appearance and an athletic skeleton. A broad, earth-red face didn't become morbid and yellow until his later years, especially in winter, when he was shut indoors and far away from the fields. Frontal eminence uplift, extremely broad. Black hair, unusually thick, like a comb has never been on it, standing upside down everywhere, like a "snake on Medusa's head".

There was a strange power burning in his eyes, which shocked all who saw him. But most people can't tell their subtle differences. Because on the brown and tragic face, these eyes shoot a wild light, so everyone always thinks it is black; In fact, it is gray and blue.

Usually, they are small and deep, and only when they are excited or angry can they open up and rotate in their eyes, which wonderfully reflects their true thoughts.

He often stares at the sky with melancholy eyes. The broad nose is short and square, which is actually the appearance of a lion. A delicate mouth, but the lower lip often tends to protrude forward than the upper lip. The gums are so strong that they seem to break walnuts.

His smile is beautiful, and there is an air that is often cute and pleasant between conversations. On the other hand, his smile was unpleasant, rude, ugly and short.

His usual expression is melancholy, showing an "incurable sadness".

Beethoven looks very young in his paintings, and seems to be younger than his age. His thin, straight and high collar makes his head and neck stiff, and he has a dazzling and nervous look.

The face like a lion, with its gums clenched, depicts wrinkles of anger and distress, but the most obvious character is his will, Napoleon-like will in his early years: "It's a pity that I am not as adept in war as I am in music! Otherwise I will defeat him! " .

Beethoven had a rough life and didn't have a family. At the age of twenty-six, I began to be deaf, and I was completely deaf in my later years. I could only talk to people through a conversation book. However, his lonely life did not make him silent and retired. In 1789, the progressive ideology of the French bourgeois revolution inspired him a lot, which laid the foundation of his humanistic world outlook-human equality, pursuit of justice and freedom of personality, and hatred of feudal autocracy. He once said: "One year's freedom is much more useful to mankind than a hundred years' absolutism". 3. The composition describing the characters should be commented

My classmate

In my childhood, I had a good classmate. We went to school together and left school together. We were inseparable good partners.

She had ear-length short hair, was thin, loved to wear white sneakers, and it was Momo who laughed all day. She is a person who loves to help her classmates. < P > The angel of memory brought me back to that day. < P > On a sunny morning, I hurried to train. Because the flute team had to strengthen training a while ago because the competition was coming soon, I didn't have time to collect my homework, let alone hold it. Just after training, I suddenly found that the Chinese homework of the whole class had disappeared. I've searched the desk inside and out, but there's still no sign of my homework. Seeing this, I can't help but panic. This is the homework of 39 people! Who will take it away at once? If the teacher finds out, it will definitely criticize me! At this moment, my eyes were full of tears, I bit my lip, and I kept blaming myself. An idea came into my mind: Go to the office and explain the situation to the teacher.

So, I walked to the office, but my feet were like lead, and I couldn't lift them. At this moment, a familiar figure jumped into my eyes. Why is this figure so familiar? Driven by curiosity, I decided to find out. As soon as I saw it, it was Momo, the thinnest girl in our class! She seems to be holding her homework. What homework is she holding? So, I ran up and wanted to ask Momo. I asked her curiously, "Momo, you are not a representative of the department. What homework are you holding?" But her answer surprised me! She smiled: "You go to training, you don't have time to hold your homework. I'm helping you with your Chinese homework!" " "ah! It turns out that you took the Chinese homework, do you know? I'm scared to death. "I said reproachfully, but the big stone in my heart fell. Momo said aggrieved," I helped you with your homework with kindness, but you said so! " Say that finish, with tears in her eyes, she was about to cry. "You have to tell me later." "Good." We both held our homework in the office. Since then, she has been helping me with my Chinese homework. What a good classmate! She loves to help her classmates so much, but she doesn't complain at all, and she doesn't ask for anything in return.

Momo, like a fire in winter, brings warmth to people. She taught me that helping others is something that I can do, and I should learn from her. (The second composition. Just change my name.)

As long as I can remember, I have Some of my classmates have been blurred in my memory, and some of them have been alienated, but during my six years in primary school, he and I have always been good friends.

His round face, small nose and big eyes are full of sparks of wisdom. Do you know who he is? By the way, Liu Jinlu.

Liu Jinlu is a very enthusiastic little boy. Once, our group was working as a duty student. Seeing that I was still working, he whispered to me, "Liao Jia, let me help you clean the water dispenser." Before I could react, he grabbed the rag, twisted it in the water, and wiped it quickly. He wiped it carefully. The water dispenser was up and down, and the corners fell, and no one was forgotten. Some small gaps were difficult to clear. He wrapped the rag with his fingers and reached into the narrow space. It turns out that the drinking fountain with a gray head and a gray face has become as bright as a washed face, and I am very touched when I look at all this.

Comments: This composition is well written, with many good words and sentences, vivid descriptions of characters, and a concrete example to make people more prominent. The article also uses rhetorical devices such as dialogue and metaphor to make the article more vivid. The topic is very good, and the sentence and structure of the article are very good.

The deficiency is that the clue is too messy.

The paragraphs are clear and coherent, and the style of writing is beautiful.

The overall structure and description are not bad.

This article is generally well written, with fluent sentences, proper words and neat fonts, and I write my own feelings. I hope I can continue my efforts in the future. 4. Extract the fragments described by the characters' actions and write comments.

. At the moment when * * * sounded, you paddled the textbook moored in the harbor like a ship with the whip of the faculty as pulp. On the desk, the problems are piled up like a reef. Your gestures are vivid like a flying bird, waving a beautiful arc on the platform-ships pass through ... There is no cloud floating in the sky, just like your bright heart.

2. Grandpa has a bronze face, eyes like two bells, and a wisp of goatee beard floating on his pointed chin. He is tall and broad-shouldered. Although he is over 7 years old, he can talk with a powerful voice like Hong Zhong. Even the young man can't catch up with him when he walks.

3. Dad has thick eyebrows, and a pair of bright eyes always sparkle with stern eyes. Probably because of his long-term mental work, the deep wrinkles on his forehead are commensurate with his age of less than forty.

4. My brother's eyes are highly myopic, and he can't live without glasses everywhere, just like a "blind man". Just take off his glasses and he will be obedient like a sheep in front of me. One afternoon, my brother wanted to wash his hair. He told me to bring him soap for water. I proudly thought: Hum! I'll run errands for you first, and then I'll treat you. After a while, my brother craned his neck and beat soap bubbles all over his face. As soon as I saw the time, I quietly took my brother's basin away. My brother went to wash his hair after rubbing, and took a handful of water and an empty one. He hurried to look for it, but as soon as he opened his eyes, the soap foam killed him in tears. Like a blind man groping his way, he groped east and west, and finally picked up the towel and wiped his eyes, but his eyes were still blurred, so he went to look for his glasses.

5. Xiao Maotou is very small, and his head is only as big as my big doll; His face is round and red, like a big apple. She slept soundly, her eyes closed tightly, like two lines; Two eyebrows are like two curved crescent moons; The small mouth often moves, as if it is sucking milk. She was wrapped in a small quilt and tied tightly with a rope, and did not move.

6. My sister is ten years old and is in the third grade of primary school. On her red face, a pair of big eyes are smart and smart. Under the black hair, two curved eyebrows, like the crescent moon. Among her white teeth, one front tooth is missing. When she smiles, she becomes a gaping tooth, which is very cute.

7. Xiao Ju is fourteen years old this year, but her body is not tall, her arms are still so small, her cheekbones are still protruding, and her ten fingers are like a bunch of dead bamboo branches, as if she would break if she folded them. Because she is very thin, it seems that her body is light. 5. sentences describing the characters, plus comments

: "He sat there holding an enamel bowl, chewing a few grass roots and our leftover fish bones, chewing for a while, then frowning and swallowing hard."

This passage describes five consecutive movements of the old squad leader of the Red Army. With five accurate verbs of "sitting, holding, chewing, wrinkling and swallowing", the old monitor's attitude of taking care of his little comrades, working day and night, and being mentally tired during the 25 thousand-mile long March was written.

The word "Peng" highlights the old squad leader's treasure of those grass roots and "our" leftover fish bones; The three verbs of "chewing", "wrinkling" and "swallowing" show that grass roots and fish bones are hard to swallow and the old monitor is hungry. Through the description of these movements, the old squad leader of the Red Army has shown his resolute character of tenacious struggle and lofty quality of self-sacrifice under difficult conditions. 6. how to evaluate the composition class

1. based on the teaching content of the composition class

in all kinds of open classes and observation classes at all levels, everyone pays attention to the lecturer, that is, the individual teaching organization, teaching technology and teaching style of the teacher. Because the individual differences of teachers are obvious, this kind of evaluation that only sees teachers but not students will of course be questioned. Under the concept of the new curriculum, people change the perspective of class evaluation and evaluate teaching from the perspective of students, that is, do students interact and cooperate in class? How many times did the students speak? Whether the discussion is enthusiastic, etc. Focusing on the external form of class evaluation, its direction is still the teacher's classroom organization and teaching methods, while the question of what teachers teach in composition class is ignored to some extent.

Professor Wang Rongsheng has always advocated observing and evaluating teaching from the perspective of teaching content. He believes that "before evaluating the teaching method of a class, we must first examine whether its teaching content is correct; After feeling the active atmosphere of classroom teaching, we should pay more attention to whether students have a Chinese experience corresponding to the teaching content. "

Teaching content is the question of what teachers are actually teaching in class. The curriculum standard puts forward the requirements of "writing" and "writing" for composition teaching in primary schools, but the specific requirements are unknown. The teaching content of writing teaching can be summarized from two aspects: on the one hand, teachers give composition topics, students write their own in class or after class, and the teaching content of composition class is mainly to comment on students' compositions. The content of classroom teaching organized by teachers is "proposition-students' own writing-correction-comment", and the teaching content of "how to write" and "how to write" is almost blank. This kind of composition teaching, which depends on students' independent exploration, is often time-consuming and ineffective. There is also a kind of teaching content, in which teachers explain certain writing knowledge, such as how to describe, how to express feelings, how to arrange paragraphs, etc. The teaching of these writing contents is often combined with reading teaching. When students really want to write, they often find that these writing knowledge taught by teachers is not very useful. On the other hand, in this kind of teaching, teachers teach some external and static writing knowledge in class, and writing is a practical language skill. It is impossible to change static knowledge into practical skills overnight, but it will take a long transformation process.

In the composition class, teachers either say nothing or talk about some unhelpful writing knowledge, and the content of composition teaching is almost scarce. What is taught doesn't work, and it can't solve practical problems. The crux of the problem is that the teaching of these writing contents is out of the context of students' writing.

how to observe and evaluate teaching from the perspective of teaching content? We combine two cases of composition teaching to analyze. Teacher Yu Yongzheng's "Examination" (see People's Education, 26, May) in the writing content, the teacher mainly starts from the following aspects:

By asking students whether they are willing to take the exam, they naturally transition to their views on the exam;

Take the exam and put forward two requirements (the teacher sets a trap for the exam);

marking the test paper and commenting on it;

Teachers guide students to write down their feelings;

communication between students.

Mr. Yu passed this unusual exam, which made the students fall into his preset "trap" and made the students gain a deep impression.