Tell you a joke.

The temple should be built on the mountain, and monks should live in the temple. This is the law and the background of the story.

I am a young monk and my master is an old monk. The same thing is that we all have no hair, but the difference is that he has a white beard.

I am an orphan, from the time I can remember to the age of 18. All my memories stay in this huge temple called Shaolin Temple by Jianghu people. The master said that he found me in the depths of the mountain forest. In his words, at that time, the Buddha's light appeared on the horizon, and he knew that there would be auspicious signs. So under the guidance of Buddha's light, I was found.

Translated into adult language, the old master went to the mountains to collect medicine, and occasionally felt abdominal discomfort. It's indecent to think that you are also a Taoist monk, and it is always indecent to solve it on the spot. So I took a few more steps to a secluded place, only to find me in a deserted place.

Thank you, Master. It took me 18 years to bring me up as an adult, and I'm pure-hearted and don't be a villain.

eighteen years of life are the same, carrying water, chopping wood, cooking and practicing. The incense here is flourishing, and there are a constant stream of pilgrims coming and going, and there are also many challenges at home; They call themselves Jianghu people and have long admired Shaolin martial arts, so they come here for advice. I once thought that "Jianghu" was a sect, and the number was quite large. No matter where they came from, they all patted their chests and said they were Jianghu people.

I finally couldn't help asking master, what is Jianghu?

once the master strokes his beard, the Jianghu is a mixed place!

I asked again, why?

The master closed his eyes and then said: There is a saying that there are more than eight kings in shallow water, and there are big brothers everywhere! But think about it, how deep are the rivers and lakes? What is hidden there is the real big brother!

I nodded. Jianghu, it's probably complicated!

according to the routine of martial arts stories, I should go down the mountain.

I'm not going down the mountain to experience any life, nor am I going to the Wulin Congress; That is, the general temple in the south will hold a abbot's meeting. Let's discuss the development path of Shaolin martial arts in the Central Plains and bring back the living expenses in the next few years.

however, my master is old and can't stand the toss. So let me represent him at the meeting. And the master said, when I come back, let me be the abbot.

naturally, I will be reluctant to do anything, crying and telling the master that I will serve his old man. Although the master is reluctant, for the sake of the overall situation, he still has to preach earnestly and let me leave.

After going back and forth for three times, at last the master really couldn't move. He patted me on the shoulder and said, Pack your things and get out of here!

so I refused, so I had to pack my bags and hit the road. According to the routine of martial arts stories, I should meet many strange people on the road.

down the mountain, across the river and up the mountain. I met bandits. To put it mildly, these people have fierce faces. Normal people's understanding is a group of crooked melons and cracked dates. But there are exceptions, bandits have a very handsome girl, very beautiful. I can only see at a glance that she is beautiful, ice-snow smart and so on, and I don't know yet.

A scar face jumped out of the bandit group, which seems to be the leader of this gang. He spoke passionately about a series of lines: I planted this tree and opened this road. If you want to live from now on, stay and buy road money! He was salivating, and the saliva splashed on my bald head, and I didn't know it.

after listening to him, I clapped my hands calmly and praised him for pioneering the road in this barren mountain. It really benefited the people and benefited all beings!

He nodded, his nose twitched, and his eyes were full of tears. He put down his sword and took my hand, recounting the difficulties of starting a business. We hit it off as soon as we met, and had a good talk. It is not easy for him to talk about life, but I am profound in Buddhism. Anyway, nobody listened to anyone. So I talked about the night from noon, ate a midnight snack, and talked about the dawn.

It's dawn. I'm going to leave, get up and say goodbye to Scarface and the others. Scarface is still unfinished, so let me chat for another day, but I have to hurry, and I can only politely decline. At this time, someone in the crowd reminded Scarface: Boss, I haven't asked for money yet!

On hearing the money, he immediately changed his face and raised his knife: You little monk are very cunning! Give me the money!

He was very disappointed after hearing this. He put down his knife and asked me, what should I do?

I suddenly feel that the threshold for being a bandit is so low that I can do without brains. I pretended to think and told him to stay here and wait for me. I'll come back to him after attending the abbot's meeting and getting the money.

the point is, he believed it, really believed it, and when I left, he still held my hand tightly and said that he must come back.

I glanced at the girl in the crowd and said to Scarface, I will definitely come back, but can you let this girl go?

the girl took a step forward and said to me, you are mistaken. I'm a bandit, too. I'm a demon.

I continued on my way, and after walking for a long time, I finally saw the main temple in the south. Without considering the hardships all the way, I rushed to the main hall, looking at all the buddhas and a group of young monks knocking on wooden fish ...

At this moment, a chubby middle-aged monk came out from behind the main hall. I was surprised and mistakenly thought it was the messenger of the net altar.

The monk smiled at me and said, Amitabha, this benefactor, what can I do for you?

I shook my head desperately: I'm not a benefactor, I'm a monk, and I'm here to attend the abbot's meeting.

The monk looked suspicious and pointed at my head: You said you were a monk, where did you get your hair?

"it's like this just because I ran all the way and ignored the clutter on the top! I am indeed a monk from the north, and I am here to attend the meeting to get what I need for my livelihood. "

"You have to prove to me that you are a monk or a monk from the north!"

I can't find a master to prove that I am a monk. Even if the master comes, I'm afraid I have to find evidence to prove that he is a monk himself. Such a causal cycle has no end.

I changed the subject and asked about the abbot's meeting. The white fat monk waved his hand: you came late, and it was over long ago!

"what about the money?"

"You can't even prove that you are a monk. I can't give you the money."

"People who study Buddhism should be generous to all sentient beings. You can't let me go back empty-handed!"

"I will treat you, so who will treat me?"! Stop dreaming. "

after that, some sweeping monk set me up and threw me outside the mountain gate.

sweeping the floor and returning in vain.

I'm on my way home, but I'm the protagonist, and it's doomed that the story can't end like this. Going back the same way, I don't know how long it took. I passed a sword village, which is famous in the Jianghu. To put it bluntly, it is a blacksmith's shop that the family continues.

The reason why the clansmen in the village gather together is that Laozi and Zhuangzi mainly compete for their youngest daughter's marriage and invite all the clansmen from all over the world to come here for a while. A huge platform was set up in the middle of the yard, and people kept flying up and falling down. I don't know whether to use jiaozi to describe it properly, but it's better to use popcorn!

I saw the goblin in the distance.

She sat beside the master of Lao Zhuang, smiling and watching the contest on the stage, just like a monkey show! I pushed my way through the crowd, and the waves pushed me where the goblins could see me. I saw her bow her head and say a few words to the master of Zhuang zi, and then I was inexplicably taken away by a group of people.

On the pavilion of Jianzhuang, the master of Laozi and Zhuangzi is sitting in grave danger, with the demon standing on the left and me tied to the post on the right.

Master Lao Zhuang said: I heard that you are from Shaolin. I am thinking of marrying my daughter to you, but you must give me Shaolin Juexue.

I am in awe of this old man, not because of his frankness, but because an outsider actually believes that I am a monk.

"How can that be? I'm a monk and I can't get married!"

"I'll marry my daughter to you, and you give me the secret book! Very fair, fair transactions don't need to consider so much! "

"No, I can't promise. I have to go back to Shaolin."

"Yes, you have to go back and get the secret book. Also, I'll kill you if I repeat it. "

so I was arranged as a relative. The scene that day was extremely lively, and all the people who came were people I didn't know. Of course, no one knew me. But it's too boring, and it's natural to get a person who smashed the venue.

hmm, right. In fact, I don't think it's anything, but I was forced anyway. But there are so many people watching me. Out of the dignity of men, I have to be hostile to outsiders.

So we started our own Juexue. In jargon, it was three hundred rounds of war. Actually, it was ... a scuffle.

Thanks to my old father-in-law's timely arrival, his men pulled us away and bound the big fellow. The old man went up with two loud mouths! "I am doing things, how dare you run wild here!"

I still admire this old man, who can mix swearing with classical Chinese!

As night fell, the guests dispersed, and the goblin and I were sent to the bridal chamber. The goblin has a pair of big watery eyes, which are like clear springs in the mountains, crystal clear and free of impurities. I don't know whether she is as innocent as a pair of eyes, or whether you still want to believe her when someone looks at you like this.

but I have to go back. it's a plot arrangement, even if I take this woman with me! Yes, take her with you.

So the bride and I cut a hole in the bride's family's wall on the night when we were supposed to get married and ran away.

the demon said, I don't like you, but if I marry you, you can't leave me!

We changed two horses at the post station and made a long journey day and night to run to Shaolin Temple. In the past few years, the roads we have traveled are still familiar. The mountains, rivers and even bandits used to be so familiar.

It was on that ridge that I met Scarface who had been waiting for years!

We usually call this persistence stubbornness or stupidity, but you can't erase it. It is persistence in itself!

At the beginning, a group of people were left with Scar's face. When the goblin saw this uncle who had taken care of himself for a long time, he was so excited that his eyes filled with tears that he would take him with him anyway. Although I am embarrassed, I still feel guilty. After all, I have kept a fool waiting for several years.

I told him that I didn't bring back any money during my trip, but I can make it up to him when I return to Shaolin. There was no reason why he didn't come with me, so the three of us went on our way together.

I have returned to the place where I have lived for 18 years, where I carry water, chop wood, cook and practice. I think it should have been six clean, no desire and no desire, but maybe even saints will be happy to go home! I can't wait to see the master, but I have searched all over the temple, and even on the big bluestone where his old man usually basks in the sun, there is no sign of him.

Deep in the deserted mountain forest, I was found there and my master was buried there.

Soon after I left, the master passed away, sitting on the big bluestone, wearing his favorite cassock and leaving with a smile. Since then, my fellow disciples have started an endless struggle, dying and walking. However, I avoided this dispute because I went to collect the bill.

I don't know if it was the master's deliberate arrangement that kept me away from everything here ...

The demon looked at me with big watery eyes, and his eyes were spotless ...

According to the development of the plot, I should follow the master's wishes and strengthen my legacy; Or take the demon with me, and forget about the Jianghu and the Tianya ... I should also have a peerless sword, a peerless martial arts ... Three or two confidants, wandering around the ends of the earth ...

As a result, my brain is full of holes ...