The homophonic joke will make your stomach ache if you laugh it off

A collection of homophonic jokes that will make your stomach hurt with laughter

Smile, ten years later, I have compiled a collection of homophonic jokes that will make your stomach hurt. I hope everyone can smile. , remember to have a moment of happiness every day! Hee hee!

A collection of homophonic jokes that will make your stomach hurt with laughter 1

1. One day, the lame man and the blind man went out riding in the same car. The blind man rides, the lame man watches the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him and shouted: ditch, ditch, ditch! The blind man sang back: Oh le oh le oh le! The two fell into the ditch together

Answer added

Homophone joke: There was a meeting in the village. Because of the homophony, the village chief said: Rabbits and shrimps, don’t ask for melons, pickles are too expensive. ?(Comrades and fellow villagers, please don’t talk, the meeting is now in session.) The host said: ?Please pickle the pickles and pickle melons. (Now I invite the township chief to speak.) The township chief said: Rabbits and shrimps, the dog has eaten today’s meal, everyone is a big bastard. (Comrades and villagers, today’s meal is enough, let’s all use big bowls)

2. There is an opportunity to take advantage of

There is a salesman I went on a business trip to Guangzhou. When I arrived in Beijing, I wanted to go by plane. I was afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement, so I sent a telegram to the manager: There is an opportunity, can you take it? When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was an opportunity to close the deal. Once you arrive, call back immediately: "Take a ride if you can." ?

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager did not agree to reimburse the air tickets because he was not of a high level and would not be reimbursed for flying. The salesman took out the manager and called him back. The manager was stunned.

3. Place names

On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more reserved. During the banquet. The cheerful classmate smiled and pointed at the reserved classmate and introduced us: "He is from Myanmar, so he is quite shy." ? Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, raised his head and drank it all, and then said: ?I am from Yangon. ?

4. The principal got angry

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the principal was furious about the low efficiency of personnel administration. He said: The person in charge of director business is not sensible; the person in charge of personnel management is unconscious; the person who is an officer is not an officer!?

5. A meeting in a village

A meeting in a village , because of the homophonic pronunciation, the village chief said: Rabbits and shrimps, don’t want pickles, pickles are too expensive. ?(Comrades and fellow villagers, please don’t talk, the meeting is now in session.) The host said: ?Please pickle the pickles and pickle melons. (Now I invite the township chief to speak.) The township chief said: Rabbits and shrimps, the dog has eaten today’s meal, everyone is a big bastard. ?(Comrades and fellow villagers, today’s meal is enough. Let’s all use big bowls. A collection of homophonic jokes that will make your stomach ache with laughter 2

1. I was obsessed with martial arts novels when I was in junior high school and took classes. When I was watching Jin Yong's "Dragon", the teacher found it, confiscated it, and yelled: Hand over the other seven books.

2. My brother saw two. The dogs were doing that, so I asked my sister what they were doing. My sister replied sheepishly: They were fighting.

The boy next to me laughed and said: ?Why are you laughing? Do you want to fight?!?

3. The most painful day for a man: December 1st; the most comfortable day for a man: January 31st.

< p> 4. I said to a beautiful girl: "I'll treat you to dinner today." She said: "Don't eat, let's go some other time~" I'm very excited!

I said to a brother:? I’m going to treat you to dinner today. ? He said: ? Don’t eat, let’s wait for another day~? I’m so embarrassed?

A beautiful girl said to me: ? I’m going to treat you to dinner today. ? If you don't want to eat, let's wait for another day~? She said no -_-!

A dinosaur said to me: "I'll treat you to dinner today." I pointed to the wretched man next to me and said: "Let's wait for another day." ~?

5. There was a kissing scene on TV, and the father asked his son to get a glass of water.

Soon, there was another kissing scene on TV. The father asked his son to get another glass of water. The son asked: Dad, do you get thirsty when you see someone kissing you?

6. Xiaomei: I I went to a concert yesterday.

Xiao Wang: Really, that’s good. Whose concert is it?

Xiaomei: Jay. I like him the most. Yesterday's concert was wonderful.

Xiao Wang: Jay Chou hasn’t held any concerts recently.

Xiao Mei: I watched it on TV

Xiao Wang: &?￥ I started to admire you! A collection of homophonic jokes that will make your stomach ache with laughter 3

< p> 1. A certain student likes to write typos and always writes "break" as "drink".

He wrote in his diary: The squad leader ordered us to carry dung. Everyone worked very hard and no one dared to drink. Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back?

2. In a lively market, a fish seller shouted: "Fresh fish!" At this time, a fish seller sold bubble gum. The fish seller then shouted: "Paotang! (Into the soup)" After hearing this, the fish seller said to the candy seller: "Hey, why did you say that my fish was in the soup?" The more noisy they became, the more aggressive they became. At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "Bean sprouts! (Douya)" A security guard came over and asked: "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an oil fruit seller shouted: ?Youguo! (With me)? After hearing this, the security officer said: ?Well, take the four of you away together

3. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was worried about the car. The line does not have an auspicious license plate number and is hesitant. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good 00544 (let me try it). I guarantee that no one will dare to mess with it, isn't it good?!

The rich man was tempted and bought the car immediately, but the second There was a car accident the next day. The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but when he got out of the car, he immediately walked away in despair. It turned out that the other person's license plate was 44944 (just try it).

4. Test results

In the middle school class, the teacher of the socialist economic theory class (hereinafter referred to as social economics) angrily read out the test results: This time, everyone got the best score in social economics. It's very bad. It's obvious that you didn't spend your energy on social economics. In fact, social economics is a very simple course. If you work hard, you will get results. . . . . The results were announced below: Yang Wei, failed in social economics. . . . . ;