50 funny quotations in one sentence _ Laugh to death

1, I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.

2, Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.

3, shameless, doing well is called excellent psychological quality!

I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

The happiness of ostrich is just a pile of sand.

6. Teacher, I met a robber, but my homework was robbed.

7. How many students lost to the last part of the text: reciting the full text.

8. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

9, chess and calligraphy can not, laundry and cooking are too tired.

10, I usually scold you, and I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

1 1. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.

12, God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and tired.

13, women are anxious when men don't make money, and women regret when men make money.

14, there are no inseparable couples, only mistresses who don't work hard.

15, don't say sorry to me, because we don't matter.

16, not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

17, fell down, get up and cry.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

19, parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

20. This is often the case, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a bad horse, there may not be a returning grass waiting for you.

2 1, dreaming is the earliest wireless communication mode in human history.

22. Red beans don't grow in the south, but grow on my face. I really miss them!

23. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture.

24. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

25, hum, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

26, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

27, salted fish turn over, or salted fish.

28, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

29. Knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important.

30. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

3 1, you must work hard! For your Audi, my Dior.

32. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

33. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

34. I like you so much that you will die.

35. When I love you, you are what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

36. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

37. If the exam could reward QB, the country would have been rich and strong.

38, people can't extricate themselves, except teeth and love.

39. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

40. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

4 1, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

42. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

43. People have backgrounds, and people have backgrounds.

44. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

45, everyone loves, flowers bloom and fall, and the car sees a flat tire!

46. If I'm drunk and I don't accept anyone, I'll hold the wall!

47, after breaking up, you when I sacrifice me when you die, finished.

48, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

49. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

50. Youth is dedicated to the house and middle age to the children.

In a word, 28 funny quotations _ Laugh to death without paying.

1, I lay on the ground and vomited foam for a long time, only to find that my grandmother was dead.

2. Before being shot, the young man shouted in despair: Who the fuck told me that killing lives long!

Feng Laohan received a critical notice from the doctor to his son, and then calmly wrote down what he read.

4. Sometimes when I feel a lot of pressure, I will knead instant noodles, shrimp strips and grandma with weak bones.

I will go to the operating table tomorrow. What program should I perform?

6. After sticking to the murderer, the police never let go of the biting criminal's mouth.

7. Wukong shouted to eat my old grandson, but King Jinjiao was shocked and opened his mouth.

8. The act of flogging shows a very ugly moral problem: bullying honest people.

9. Your Majesty, Po Hou went into a worse place, clamoring to know who shot him on the stone.

10, the candidates for the college entrance examination will be late for the exam, and the enthusiastic taxi driver will send them to the Internet cafe.

1 1. My neighbor actually scolded his wife. If it wasn't too cold, I really wanted to come out of his closet and beat him up.

12, timid Xiaoming practiced courage for 20 years and finally got gallbladder edema.

13. Tomorrow is my roommate's birthday. Kill or not?

14, quarreled with his girlfriend, threatened to wait and see, and now he has looked at each other for more than ten miles.

15. Mothballs are the worst hard candy I have ever eaten. They have a strange smell. How can anyone buy it?

16. When my friends get married, I wish them an early birth and let me go out. Am I wrong? Is homosexuality a big deal?

17. In order to treat facial paralysis, the doctor downloaded the 1GB expression pack for me.

18. How should I abuse a family in order to be on the famous star-making program "Deformation Meter"?

19, the fortune teller said that I was rich all my life, and only after I died did I know that billions were small money.

20. Boss, do these big fish have teeth in their mouths? He said no, so I picked the one with the biggest mouth and started to take off my pants.

2 1. In class, suddenly rushed into two bull's-head faces to take away Xiao Ming's ill-fated life, and the whole class cast envious eyes one after another.

22. Guess who I am? Xiaoming picked up the rope and grabbed the teacher by the neck.

23. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, he finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

24. In return for my beloved bed being slept by me every day, I decided to get under the bed and let the bed sleep me for one night.

There are many wild boars on the way to school recently. Please be careful not to step on wild boar shit.

26. After the words loyal to the country were engraved on his back, Yue Fei's mother Yu Xing dug up another 3D effect.

27. After strangling the 500th classmate, the idiot finally learned to wear a red scarf.

28. Wang Laohan, who longed for his son, went to the temple to pray for Guanyin Bodhisattva to give him a son.

In a word, I can't stop laughing.

1 I'm not a fucking god! I can't be like you love me!

House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.

If three people don't attack me, I won't attack. If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

Playing in the community last night, the ball got stuck in the basket and we couldn't reach it. I saw a buddy walking lightly, wearing headphones, and a run-up dropped his racket. Then, in our adoring eyes, we silently picked up the mobile phone that fell to the ground and broke in half.

There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

6 put the used toothpick back into the toothpick jar and shake it. Later, I went to a restaurant for dinner and found that many people have the same habit.

Whether you fart or mute, you should admit it immediately after farting.

The most brilliant moment of apple was hitting Newton on the head.

Those women who take part in the beauty pageant can't find good men, because good men are married, such as me.

10 Kill Li Xia as a Ferrari, boy.

In a word, I can't stop laughing.

1 1 The so-called threshold is the door when you pass, and the threshold when you can't pass.

12 is unreasonable, there must be something wrong!

13 heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

14 Look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

15 I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

16 Life is as dry as shit. You work harder, and then you will feel comfortable.

17 advertising is to tell others that money can still be spent like this!

18 people can play with nose bubbles when they are bored. .

19 you cry, you cry hard, it's okay, our water meter has long been broken.

20 Part I: How worried is China Men's Olympics? Part two: It's like a group of eunuchs visiting a brothel. Horizontal criticism: no one will shoot.

2 1 I weigh myself unhappy, and I want to eat if I am unhappy!

If you don't degenerate in debauchery, you will metamorphose in silence.

Three elements of success: 1, persistence; 2, shameless; 3. Insist on being shameless. Did you do it?

24 people always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

25 people keep their words. If I say no, I won't pay back!

Love your neighbor, but don't let her husband know!

You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet!

Sunrise in the East China Sea and setting in the West Mountain is also a day of sadness and joy; People are comfortable when they are not entangled in things.

I have grown hair and troubles. Don't think an old woman is not a monk just because she has long hair. In fact, I have been thinking about the teacher in the arms of Taoist priests.

3 1 How dare you talk to me about basketball when you don't even know Beckham!

The teacher said that if you don't study hard now, you will fill in the blanks in the future. Study hard now, and you will find multiple-choice questions later!

No one is born afraid of death, and no one is born afraid of death, so don't pretend to be TM!

A lot of people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

Live well or die quickly.

Tang seng meat can live forever, but I wonder if Tang seng excrement has the same effect?

Reading today, I was depressed to see that Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of twenty-three. But when I saw that the Tongzhi emperor was 23 years old and had died for four years, my heart was balanced.

The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

The wind and cloud in the world came out of our generation, entered the rivers and lakes, and the years disappeared. When you are talking and laughing, you can't live a drunken life!

Behind every successful Altman, there is a little monster who is beaten silently!

If my brother 4 1 dies, please burn me a sister.

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

As long as someone respects me, I begin to doubt human dignity.

I can fry oil by putting your words in the oil pan, haha. ...

Rape the Japanese on the moon. Let the earth people talk!

In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

One murder sentence and 40 funny quotations.

One murder sentence and 40 funny quotations.

1, I'm dead and I have something to burn. Small things arouse the soul, big things dig the grave. Really miss me. Come down with me. If you encounter a line, it is purely a walking corpse!

My daughter is a baby girl.

3. Protect yourself and care for others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

It's been a long time since anyone blew cowhide so fresh and refined.

It occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Damn, I'm infected by a computer virus!

6, bald donkey, dare to grab the teacher with being original!

7. I am narrow-minded, but I am not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it.

8. Oh, you are too busy to go to the toilet by yourself.

9. My heart is broken and I hold it out like a dumpling stuffing.

10, buddy, sorry, you're blocking my cell phone signal.

1 1, you can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.

12, once you go out, there are no birds in the mountains and no footprints in the roads.

13, don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

Your stupidity is always so creative.

15, get out of here and keep rolling!

16, the world is big, but it is bigger than the brain you lack.

17, son, stupid people can't be resurrected!

18, if you can't tolerate me, it means you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

19, after seeing me, you will find that handsome can be so single-minded!

20. Since I got mental derangement, the whole person has been much more energetic.

2 1, what is young? Who hasn't been young? Are you old? Really.

22. Life is like a super girl, and all the men come to the end.

I really envy you for having such a successful father at such a young age.

24. Give me a beautiful photo of you and go home to ward off evil spirits.

25. Don't move! Your left brain is full of water, and your right brain is full of flour. If you don't move, everything is paste.

26. How I wish I could grow old with you unexpectedly.

27. As a typical failure, Inverse is really too successful!

28. Your teeth are like the stars in the sky, brightly colored and far apart.

29, cough! Say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.

How dare you say that you are pure? Look at your eyes, they are muddy.

3 1, coming into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive!

Don't call me arrogant, I just refuse to deal with animals.

33. I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

34. Tell me about you. Learn to be ugly without a diploma. If you are not smart, learn from others' baldness!

35. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people.

36. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

37, alas ~ If this person is not orthomorphic, even the headache is partial.

38.look at you. Look at your back. You are in a hurry, and you scare away millions of lions as soon as you turn your head.

39. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

40. The mood of going to work is heavier than going to the grave.