How to prove in one sentence that you are poor?

After taking a look, they were all bragging

What people asked was how to prove that you are poor in one sentence

Not how to brag to prove that you are poor.

The following is my real answer:

My current mobile phone is a second-hand Meizu bought on Xianyu. It only costs 300 yuan. I sold the previous mobile phone for 2699 yuan. , sold for 2,000, so I had enough money to travel home, and I could also give my niece 100 yuan as a gift, and buy two clothes for my parents. I hope my mobile phone can last until the end of March

I went out to pick up plastic bottles and paper wrappers in the early morning, and now I have to go home and pee because the public toilets outside cost 20 cents. Seeing how popular this place is, I came to join in the fun. Che, even poorer, who can beat me? If someone says No. 1, my roommate Wang Wang would disagree - oh, let me explain, I live in a kind neighbor's dog kennel, rent-free, and can borrow the dog's bowl to eat, and can rub the dog when it's cold. body heat to avoid colds - due to insufficient clothing. Forget it, my mouth is a little dry, so I need to dig through the bottle I picked up just now and pour some remaining mineral water or juice from it to moisten my throat. Oops, great, the sun is out. Hurry up and put some water in the dog’s bathtub and let it dry in the sun. Once it’s warm, you can take a bath! I haven’t taken a bath for many days, and the dog is disgusted with me - he hasn’t eaten. After a full meal, I was very weak and dared not take cold water. I really can’t be nagging anymore, I have to keep picking up bottles!

“Last night my neighbor made braised hairtail. I quickly picked up the bowl and ate three bowls of rice with the smell of fish.”

I won’t even say it: It hasn’t rained, so I haven’t washed my hair or bathed for a long time.

Bai Xiaosan: I’m not poor. I have a monthly salary of 2,000 and owe more than 400,000 in debt. Such a small amount. Damn it, I don’t even lick the lid when I drink yogurt!

Longing and Beauty: I am not poor either. Every time I finish drinking Nutritional Express, I refill the bottle cap to see if it has expired.

Have you gotten used to it: I dreamed last night that I had no money. When I woke up, I found that the dream was true!

Wandering in the blue sky: You guys are thinking about how you stack your toilet paper until it is the size of a coin!

Full titanium shell: Useable toilet paper shows that you are not rich. I usually squat for a while to let it dry naturally.

One thought is eternal: I am here to read the comments. After all, traffic costs money. I can save some money by surfing the Internet next to others.

Cherish the loved ones around you: I endured minor illnesses and delayed serious illnesses. The day I retired was a 25,000-mile long march. I was lucky when I arrived, just because we are farmers.

Hello, two kids: When I eat vegetables, I always go to the market to pick up unwanted vegetable leaves!

Little Werewolf: When I was a kid, I saw people eating instant noodles, and I got really angry. I swore that when I grew up, I would make a lot of money and eat instant noodles every meal. Now, I have realized my desire to eat instant noodles every day.

1. Dudududududududududu

Me: "Hello" Police station? I want to issue a "poorest certificate". What procedures are required?

Police station: "Hello, sir, do you want to issue a certificate?" Don't listen clearly!

Me: "To get an egg, the employer and employee must issue a minimum certificate"! Did you hear that clearly? !

Police station: "What is the poorest proof?" We can't open any land here! You should consult another unit.

Me: "If you guys give me a hammer, I will give you the poorest proof. Don't make things difficult for me! You bunch of idiots, don't you want to serve me? You are a god!"

Police station: "Fellow, don't get excited or cause trouble!"

Me: "I just want to cause trouble, which one do you want to cause?" Come and arrest me.” If you don’t arrest me, I will look down upon you!

Police station: “Okay, fellow, where are you? We’ll send a car over right now!” ”

Me: I’m at No. xx, xx Road, xx Street, come here quickly, I’ll be waiting!

Okay, I’m waiting for the police now. I estimate that I’ll be waiting for the police for half a month. The problem of food and accommodation has been solved! Thank you to the comrades at the police station!

It is said that "if the mountain is not high, there will be immortals, and if the water is not deep, there will be spiritual power." , throws one's feet and raises one's head, is full of arrogance, is perverse and domineering, speaks vulgarly, and has doubts and guesses to get the mysteries, can he be rich? , be open-minded and accompany you, uphold the sword of Shang Fang and not kill the loyal and good, walk up high but suffer at the bottom, the taste of the family is often poor and clean, the good is good, the salary is small but enough to eat, chaste and nourishing the heart, a good reputation can cultivate the body, the fragrance of books is three Avoid it but not show it up, live up to the Jiaozi Festival, sleep soundly in the middle of the night, and refuse to accept the door. The heaven is envious, and the sacred pavilion is climbed. Zen is like a Buddha. What is the meaning of the poor? How many rich people can think about the meaning of poverty?

As soon as I heard the word "poor", I suddenly felt a thrill. Do all my fellow villagers know that I am living in Shanghai this year with less than a month's salary? The apprenticeship salary is 2,000 yuan. I eat instant noodles on even days, and I spend less than 20 yuan on odd days by ordering takeout (one dish, three boxes) to eat for the whole day. I have been short of funds several times. , the monthly rent is 900 yuan, and I have to write an IOU with my ID card, "pay 500 yuan first, and the remaining 400 yuan will be counted in the next month. No, the Chinese New Year is almost here, and I have paid my last salary, so I quickly go to Pinduoduo to buy it." I bought a sweater, a down jacket, a pair and a half of jeans, and an 18-inch suitcase, and boarded the seatless train gorgeously. I took out a few bags of instant noodles that I had prepared, and spent the time peacefully and warmly. My 32-hour train journey

Let’s go eat while it’s hot.

It’s raining. I have to go out and wash my hair. The rain will stop soon

After washing today’s enoki mushrooms, I can still eat them for two more days

I am thinking whether it is better to eat soil at noon or to eat with the northwest wind

< p>The soil after the rain is softer and more fragrant, and it does not taste so hard, although it is a bit sticky to the teeth

When I see beggars shaking bowls at me, I feel like they are showing off their wealth

The mice have arrived When I look for food at home, I always leave with tears in my eyes

Every time I slap myself twice before going out, I save money on blusher

I am too poor to support myself Pick up a dog! I picked up a stray dog ??on the way back from dinner last night. It was very well behaved. I took it home and gave it a bath. It was very clean and had no fleas or any other symptoms. Good, lively and cute. I don’t know how old he is, haha, he must be an adult anyway. His face is white, his ears and body are all yellow. His hair and beard look like a terrier. He weighs more than ten pounds. . If you like dogs, take it away and give it a home. Don’t let it wander around in the cold winter!

On my birthday, my wish was to make me rich overnight, and the result was second. The day didn't come true, so I thought that two nights would be enough. After a week, it still didn't come true, so I thought that half a month would do. But now, more than half a year has passed, and it still hasn't come true, so I thought about my patience. There is a bottom line, one year at most. I don’t know if I can realize this wish on my birthday this year.

I am very poor;

One steamed bun can be eaten three times,

One tube of toothpaste lasts a year,

I dare not do it until it rains Taking a shower,

the pants were made from a piece of hemp rope,

the clothes were stolen from next door,

the shoes were picked up from the roadside,

When the beggars on the roadside saw me, they all threw two yuan at me.

The old lady who touched porcelain cried when she saw me: Young man, you go fool around with grandma!