Ask for a funny script about 15 minutes (preferably eight people)

Character group a Zhuge Liang's entourage a

Group B Sima Yi Si Mazhao Wei Bingyi

(Sima Yi leads his troops flying across the field. )

Sima Yi killed it! Kill!

Wei Bing was killed! Kill! Kill! )

Waiter A (running over in panic) reported that-

What is Zhuge Liang doing in a flurry?

Attendant A (panting) reports-reports-

Zhuge Liang (slowly) reported my title!

The entourage reported to the Prime Minister that Sima Yi led 300,000 troops to kill me in Xicheng! There are less than five enemies (ahem) ... five

Zhuge Liang stopped, and his throat was inflamed, so he couldn't explain clearly. Hum, give me a box of amoxicillin capsules to relieve inflammation! (Waiter A takes medicine) This is from a big manufacturer-Ha Liu's, you know? ..... Go ahead!

An accompanying Sima Yi's army is less than five miles away! (flustered)

What is Zhuge Liang panicking about? Isn't it just a little Sima Yi?

Prime Minister A, 300,000 troops have arrived. We only have 2500 soldiers. Run!

Zhuge Liang, don't be impulsive, don't be impulsive, calm down ... Impulse is the devil ... How many people are there?

Waiter A has 2500 people. And they are all old, weak and sick.

Prime Minister A, let's collect some money and run away.

Zhuge Liang bah! What a loser!

Attendant A, the Prime Minister is not afraid of running out of firewood. Run.

Zhuge Liang, who am I? Run away at every turn, trying to call me a pig.

The prime minister accompanied him, and he came this time and the other time. What's more, a gentleman can bend and stretch, so run.

Zhuge Liang, you useless waste! I always catch a cold at critical times. Didn't I give you Sanjing Shuanghuanglian oral liquid? Use it at the critical moment! Don't forget the blue bottle. Ok ... the so-called enemy will block, and there is water to cover ~!

Waiter a is the prime minister. Where can we get soldiers?

Zhuge Liang didn't have me?

Zhuge Liang (with a brain turn) has! Command, open the city gate, there are twenty soldiers dressed as old hundred in front of each door.

Last name, the city gate sweeps the floor.

Waiter a (doubtfully)? Prime Minister, what are you doing? Is to open the gate to welcome Sima Yi into the city, and then

Zhuge Liang bah! I knew your son was unreliable. Aren't you ready to surrender Sima Yi, an old bastard?

Waiter A (tears streaming down her face) Prime Minister, do you want us to die? My family has an 80-year-old mother, who has just finished a week.

I have a son aged 15 and a wife aged 15. No, a 50-year-old wife My family can't live without me. I can't

Dead.

Zhuge Liang, are you still a man? Crying like a girl, is it shameful to lose it? I'm done crying, I'm leaving!

Follow prime minister a (imploringly)-I don't want to die-

Zhuge Liang (gently) Well, actually you don't have to be afraid. You don't know wow, Sima Yi is very shrewd. we

If he opens the door so wide, he won't dare to come in. It's called ...

Waiter A loves Plan 36.

Zhuge Liang is an empty plan! Well done, two oral calcium gluconate solutions per person, suitable for all ages, how good!

Waiter A (thumbs up) is tall, really tall! Sweep the floor. Oh, "blue calcium bottle, delicious calcium, yeah."

Zhuge Liang, take your positions, don't visit each other, keep your cherry mouth shut and don't make any noise.

Let everyone slap. If you do well, you will be promoted when you come back, and the RMB will appreciate. This Dong 'e stock has gone up and down several times, and you will also be promoted! Don't be afraid of death, there is life insurance when you die.

(Devils entering the village music)

Sima Yi and Wei took to the stage.

Sima Yi (shouting) Drive! Finally, today finally. Zhuge Liang, if I don't cut you today, I won't be called Sima Yi!

Prime minister's entourage a ... your honor, no ... no ... no ... ok. ...

Zhuge Liang, relax and calm down.

Sima Yi (thinking) Hey? Rumor has it that Zhuge Liang's city is empty, food and grass are exhausted, leaving only the old, the weak and the sick. How can he open it today?

Gate, and send someone to clean it? Is the rumor false?

Dad, Si Mazhao, I think the city is empty and the door is open. Why don't we kill it and go into town?

Sima Yi, no, no,no. Si Mazhao, my son, don't be impulsive. Have you observed it carefully? Zhuge Liang is playing the piano upstairs.

Someone is sweeping the floor downstairs. There must be a big conspiracy. I wonder what he is singing.

Si Mazhao, report to dad! He's not singing. Let's go to town!

Sima Yi is slow, take your time. Why am I so flustered? Take Bubu Wenxin Granule for the elderly, (relax). Look, he is in no hurry in this city. It's extraordinary! Fear of fraud

Si Mazhao, dad. ...

Sima Yi, wait and see!

Zhuge Liang (to waiter A) Jia, go and buy me a pack of cigarettes, Marlboro.

Waiter a ok, I'll be right there! (Running downward)

Waiter A (smoking a cigarette) Here comes the Prime Minister.

Zhuge Liang (smoking a cigarette) Hmm, hmm, hmm! Bring, bring wine ...

Waiter: What? Drinking at this time?

Zhuge Liang, cut the crap

Boss Wei, they want to drink ... it's courage!

Waiter A, I'm back. ...

Why is Zhuge Liang so slow?

Waiter a is stuck in traffic! The traffic is terrible! In addition, I brought a box of Neptune golden urn to the Prime Minister. Hey, hey, that's sweet.

Zhuge Liang made eight mistakes and eight mistakes

Sima Yi (thinking) What tricks did Zhuge Liang play? Smoking and drinking are so leisurely! okay

Like there's a scam.

Si Mazhao, dad, what's the trick?

Sima Yi's father's eyes have always been discerning, although there are clear eyes here and cataracts there, plus

A thousand degrees of astigmatism, but my father used acyclovir eye drops from Shandong Freda's family, and still found that the little white face was quite calm in the city.

Si Mazhao's father, I don't think Kong Ming has any soldiers. Why don't we go in there and kill him by surprise?

Sima Yi: I know Zhuge is as timid as a mouse. He hasn't even been in love for three years. How can he open the door so easily?

Si Mazhao, you're being paranoid.

Sima Yi, cut the crap. No, Kong Ming was never careful in his life, but today he opened the city gate. There must be an ambush. If our army

If you enter, you will be ambushed. Let me think about it. Is he trying to lead me into the city and wipe out our army in one fell swoop? Give me a bag, jiaozi. ...

Zhuge Liang, who is at the city gate? Where are you sneaking around, timid and obscene? Who are you? Sign up.

Come on!

Sima Yi Duh! I am the best in martial arts, charming, handsome, well-proportioned and one of the top ten outstanding young people in the three southwestern provinces, and Sima Yi is even more popular.

Zhuge Liang (inwardly cursing) Kao! What the hell! Oh, it's Brother Sima, sorry!

Sima Yi, who are you?

Zhuge Liang, Prime Minister of Shu Army. (One foot on the stool) Just call me Liang Zi.

Sima Yi Oh, it's an old pig. I've heard a lot about you! Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you!

Zhuge Liang, old pig, that's Bajie. My name is Kong Ming. Please call me Mingming. General, you have come all the way from Malaoyan. Dare you come up here alone to have a glass of white wine with me and make friends?

What happened to Sima Yi? Zhu Xiao! Ha ha ha, I climbed Zhushan all the way, fought over Tang Bohu, crossed Pan Changjiang, leaped over Picasso, dressed in Huang Sheng's clothes and held Bi Fujian, just waiting for this moment today. ...

Hello, Zhuge Liang, please.

Waiter a, we adults are legendary barrels. Who's afraid of you?

Wei, our boss is the legendary wine jar. ...

Zhuge Liang, I am still a wine demon.

Sima Yi, then I am alcohol.

Waiter a's adult, boss, drink the golden bottle of Neptune.

Zhuge Liang's lovely little companion, come up for a drink.

Wei Zhu Bing Yi, there seems to be something wrong. Be careful, it's the hongmen banquet!

The way Sima Yi 'an looked at him was a bit strange, sometimes flashing and sometimes blurred. (Zhuge Liang) You, come down!

Zhuge Liang, come up!

Sima Yi, aren't you afraid?

Zhuge Liang cut, afraid of you, tell you, I traveled all over the country, ran over my leg on the train track, drank the water from the Yangtze River and the Yellow River, and came back.

I kissed a fool, the spring breeze blew and the drums sounded. Who am I afraid of? Come up if you can!

Sima Yi, come down.

Zhuge Liang, come up!

Sima Yi (pondering for a long time) Hum! Brothers, the front team has changed to the back team. Let's go! (below)

Brother Zhuge Liang and Sima, don't go. Shall we have a party tonight? Look at all our distinguished guests, including those from Harbin, Harbin, Dong 'e and Sanjiu ... Hello, foreign friends and friends of Bayer! Oh! There are many good friends. I said brother Sima, don't mention it ...

Waiter A (overjoyed) Prime Minister, Sima Yi is gone!

Zhuge Liang. Really? (Raise your hand) Help me up!

Waiter A helped Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang's legs kept shaking.

Attendant A (horrified) Prime Minister, are you?

Zhuge Liang, change your pants!

Waiter A (dizzy) Premier, you are so handsome!

Zhuge Liang, don't be infatuated with me. Brother is just a legend. ...

You can change Wei Bing.