Why do some people feel anxious in life?

I am a patient with mild anxiety. /kloc-divorced in 0/2 years. In order to win the custody of my son, I ran away from home cleanly. Then my ex-husband asked me to take the child with me and not send it back to my hometown, saying that the child could not leave my mother, and must buy a house and give the child a home within five years, otherwise I would still win the custody of the child, so I was forced to make crazy money. In the middle, I asked my parents to go to Shenzhen to help me with my children. My condition is that either I give them money or my adoptive parents are old. They don't agree, and they are worried that my brother will have problems. You can imagine how painful I was, and then things were not that simple. My parents thought that I had been in Shenzhen for many years and I must be rich. I've always wanted it from me. Although I have no money, I always try my best to be kind to them in those years. Therefore, when I was in the most difficult time, they made it worse for me. I was particularly miserable at that time and felt that my world was gloomy without love. Besides, I have to take care of my children from morning till night. 16 years, I suddenly fell ill, which is a symptom of a cold. I drank salt water for ten days, but it still didn't get better. At that time, I felt that I had an incurable disease and was very decadent. I looked at my son around me and had to encourage myself to live a good life. Later, after being introduced by a friend, he was told to go to the people's hospital to see the neurology department and was diagnosed as anxiety. Later, the doctor prescribed medicine for me, and I got better gradually. I am very grateful to Dr. Li Gang, not him, a neurologist. Although it will recur occasionally in the middle, it is good that it is mild. Thank god, the hard days of these years have finally passed, and I feel a little scared before. I hope we will get better and better [pray]

The main reason for anxiety is that one's ability doesn't match one's ambition and one can't find a solution. Instead of being too lazy to act, I don't know how to start. Analyze what your problem is, how far your dream is, how far you have reached now, and what you can do now. Then make a plan and start doing it step by step. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Only by laying a solid foundation and doing everything that should be done in every step can we solve the problem step by step. A joke: When you are rich, young and beautiful, what are you worried about? So the most important thing is to start doing it quickly, so as to solve the fundamental problem.

In addition, I recommend an anti-pressure book called "Anti-pressure: The Law of Rebirth in Adversity". The book talks about seven techniques to relieve stress.

1. How to alleviate negative emotions?

Don't take it for granted that stress is a bad thing. If you can look at it optimistically, it will also be a helper on your growth path. You know, these bad things may happen to you, and everyone will encounter them. How to solve them is the most important thing. Don't let negative emotions stay on you for too long, but overcome them and overcome them.

2. Cultivate positive energy of self-confidence.

Think about your own strengths and abilities that others don't have, find your own unique place, give full play to it, do what you are best at, work hard and have a sense of accomplishment, and life will be much more comfortable.

Make a few intimate friends, the kind who can open their hearts and communicate with themselves. If you share your happiness with others, you will have more happiness. If you share your sadness with your friends, you will only bear half of it.

Stress and anxiety are not terrible. The terrible thing is that you give up without working hard and stay still in the mud. Constantly challenging more difficult problems, enhancing self-confidence, will not have the feeling of shrinking when encountering any difficulties.

I am Qiao Ling, a massage health care teacher of traditional Chinese medicine. Today, I will help you analyze why people feel anxious from the perspective of Chinese medicine, mainly from three aspects to share:

1? Where does coke come from? Why are you worried about it?

In recent years, with the accelerated pace of people's life and work, the sense of time urgency and competitive pressure are increasing, which makes more and more people bear heavy pressure.

Because I am the eldest of three children in my hometown and countryside, I naturally shoulder the power of example and naturally start to be independent and self-reliant from college. Until now, I have graduated for four years, quietly starting a business and strengthening myself from the heart. At present, before the age of 30, I have made small achievements in a supermarket and three beauty chain stores, but I still feel responsible. I need to keep working hard and strive for the next goal.

Actually speaking of myself, what I want to express is that each of us will feel worried, scared and anxious in our daily life. In most cases, these are normal phenomena. Of course, if the reaction is too strong, or if you experience a reaction that is inconsistent with the facts, it will affect the normal life order. This may lead to anxiety. When you feel out of control, anxiety is more like adding fuel to the fire.

In fact, the coping with anxiety can be corrected from both cognitive and behavioral aspects, so as to face it calmly.

2? First of all, we should have a certain understanding of the causes of anxiety. Actually, there is no anxiety for no reason.

All kinds of one-sided or wrong ideas will lead to a vicious circle of anxiety. For example:

If a person catches the bus, if he misses the bus, he will be late. If he is late, the boss will complain and the company will be the first to be laid off. Now the employment environment is so severe that it is difficult to continue to find a job that suits your heart, so you will have nothing.

Under the influence of this kind of thinking, people are either in a state of high tension, or they are broken all day, which is the whole two extremes.

(2) here is a small story from the west: The Bible mentions:

May god give me a calm heart and let me calmly accept the unchangeable facts;

May god give me a brave heart and let me have the courage to change the things that can be changed;

May God give me a wise heart so that I can distinguish the two.

(3) With this in mind, you can make proper use of external support to strengthen your inner self, and you can realize what we can change and what drugs we can accept to reduce anxiety.

3? Muscle relaxation? massage

① The gradual muscle relaxation method is mainly adopted, and the main muscles contract and relax alternately and repeatedly.

② Start from the head and face, relax a little, and then move down to lymph, upper body, abdomen, buttocks, thighs, calves, ankles, etc. Until the whole body muscles relax.

③ Massage the sympathetic reflex area of the ear for 3-5min at the same time, with a sense of pain as the degree. This is helpful for soothing the liver and regulating qi, relieving spasm and pain, and has special effects on anxiety and headache and palpitation caused by it.

In modern life, anxiety seems to be everywhere, and words called "should", "must", "in case" and "possible" in life have planted the seeds of anxiety in our hearts more or less.

In fact, people who have no long-term worries will have near worries, and moderate anxiety can stimulate our talents. When there is anxiety about filtering, we need to peel off the silk, recognize the true face of things, and relax and adjust appropriately in order to face it calmly.

Anxiety is mainly caused by a sense of uncertainty and loss of control about the future. Coping with exams is the most common situation, and anxiety before exams is almost everyone's experience.

However, anxiety does not necessarily exist in a negative form, and appropriate anxiety can sometimes play a role in promoting benign development. Therefore, it is particularly important to treat the objectivity of anxiety correctly, which can avoid the aggravation of anxiety to some extent.

Even if you have a considerable degree of anxiety, you should learn to release its negative effects, assess the possible consequences of uncertain events in the future in advance, and make psychological preparations for various coping styles, which will help alleviate anxiety symptoms.

I'm anxious. I have been anxious since I can remember. I am worried that a ghost will catch me at night in the country, that I will be scolded by my mother, and that I will be ashamed of my poor study! Over 50 years old! Life is worse than death, which is very painful!

1, to avoid excessive meditation.

Every user with severe anxiety will understand that when you are anxious, you will fall into a great panic and be anxious to get rid of this emotion. What we are used to doing at this time is to think about those painful emotions and irrational thoughts repeatedly and try to convince ourselves not to be anxious.

But in fact, this is a complete misunderstanding. Excessive meditation will only further consolidate the anxiety-related thinking in our brain and cause a vicious circle, which will not help at all. It is harmful to be obsessed with analyzing every emotion, feeling and thought. This futile struggle against emotions and ideas is like Sisyphus repeatedly pushing boulders to the top of the mountain. Excessive meditation is a huge problem in itself, not a solution to anxiety.

How to overcome and treat anxiety;

1. Psychoanalysis. Communicate with relatives and friends, talk with close people, find out the causes of anxiety, improve self-awareness, and have self-knowledge of your bad personality, so as to correctly deal with the environment with a rational attitude.

2. Rational psychotherapy. Psychologists should care, love, comfort, support, encourage, motivate and guide patients. Doctors' sincerity, patience, sympathy and understanding, as well as some wise alternative strategies to deal with the environment, can greatly alleviate patients' anxiety.

3. medication. Under the guidance of doctors, taking anti-anxiety drugs such as diazepam, diazepam and sedatives can effectively control anxiety symptoms.

Anxiety is a very common emotion in our daily life.

What is the essence of anxiety?

The so-called value is what we usually call self-esteem, intimacy and relationship. There are two main types that cause people's anxiety:

The so-called self-worth, also called "self-efficacy", is that I think I can do it. Can I stand in the society and meet all the challenges of life? Facing all kinds of uncertainties? Whether I can survive the crisis can also be called confidence.

A confident person has three qualities: trust, willpower and goal. Of course, we all want to be confident, but sometimes in the face of things that don't happen in the future, we can't help feeling inferior or arrogant.

For example, WeChat's "friend circle anxiety", seeing the circle sent by friends, will not have the feeling of comparing, always feel that the other person's life is so excellent and wonderful, but he is very ordinary. At this time, this kind of self-worth anxiety will inevitably arise.

For example, when many women reach middle age, they often start to feel anxious because of their aging appearance. This is because women don't know how to maintain a relationship except by looking at their faces. In other words, she thinks that men like themselves because they are beautiful. When the less valuable advantage of beauty began to depreciate, she began to have a relationship panic.

In fact, this anxiety is due to her inferiority in intimate relationship and interpersonal communication. She feels that she is a little white in grasping men's hearts and can only attract others by external image, so she is very afraid of losing her husband's favor.

So how to deal with these anxieties that we often have?

If something triggers our anxiety, it means that it explodes the fragile layer in our hearts. At this time, we try our best to save ourselves and protect our fragile layer from being exposed, so there will be various defense mechanisms.

The purpose of defense mechanism is to enable us to survive in a crisis, so from this perspective, anxiety is our early warning system. Without it, we will lose the ability to protect ourselves.

Therefore, accepting our anxiety is not all bad.

Anxiety is a common existence in our life. If we don't pay attention to it, it will remote control us like an invisible silk thread, form our destiny, form our ending and decide our life.

It can be said that we have been walking in anxiety all our lives, and only we can perceive the complexity behind anxiety, perhaps inferiority or fear of losing relationships; Only by seeing the essence clearly can we face all kinds of anxiety in life calmly.

Anxiety usually occurs in a person who is self-motivated and eager to break through and change the status quo. He realized that his present state might be too comfortable, or he felt that it was not suitable to continue, and he wanted to change. However, he has not found the direction of change himself, and he is not sure about his plan. Under repeated wandering and tearing, he will be anxious.

Anxiety is a good thing to some extent, because it shows that this person wants to seek change and become better. He just hasn't found the right way yet.

Of course, excessive anxiety, only staying at the level of anxiety, is absolutely inappropriate and will make his life more confused.

A good way to avoid anxiety is to lay out in advance and let yourself bypass those anxious things.

Students don't want to be anxious because of exams, so they take their studies seriously every day and treat them as exams, and the exams will naturally be normal.

Graduates don't want to be anxious about finding a job. They should solve their papers early, prepare the school moves of their favorite companies in advance, and even find a good senior to promote themselves internally.

What can we do in the workplace?

An epidemic, many people's lives were suddenly pressed the pause button. Waiting at home for a long time, we have a long leisure time under the crisis. Even after returning to work, some jobs are affected by the epidemic, and the business volume is not large. During this time, there will be more free time.

Instead of lying at home and sleeping, sitting and brushing your mobile phone and surfing Taobao, it is better to use this rare free time to read a few books, write a book for a while, systematically study online courses that interest you, or improve your professional ability.

Maybe some knowledge will come in handy when the epidemic is over.

By doing so, I believe that anxiety will be alleviated or even stopped.

In addition, when you are anxious, you can look at these beautiful things, such as big and red strawberries.

You need to know your emotions. Emotion is not only related to positive and negative, but also related to actions and omissions, control and out of control, and feelings of specific actions. For example, people who feel happy also feel in control and want to seek experience and people. On the contrary, people who feel fear and anxiety feel uncontrollable and have great uncertainty, which leads people to take self-protection actions.