How to treat the superior-subordinate relationship

Discussing the communication between leaders and superiors may seem incredible in the eyes of some people. In fact, most leaders have their own superiors. Above the company commander there is the battalion commander, and above the battalion commander there is Above the regimental leader there is the division chief; above the township chief there is the county chief, and above the county chief there is the provincial governor; above the section chief there is the division chief, and above the division chief there is the director, and so on. Especially in modern society, leaders with the highest status are rare. Even the elected head of state is also restricted by Congress, parliament, and voters. Therefore, it is necessary to study the leader's communication art. We often encounter such leaders in society. They have leadership skills and good leadership qualities. They also have high prestige among their subordinates and can get along well with their colleagues, but they have poor relationships with their superiors. In addition to the reasons from superiors, if you look for fault within yourself, inappropriate character behavior is also a very prominent reason. There are mainly the following types of improper communication with superiors: First, absolute obedience. This kind of person obeys the opinions of his superiors regardless of whether they are correct or not. It is very similar to the attitude of Zhang Degui, the chairman of the farmers' association in Zhao Shuli's novel, towards the old village chief Yan Hengyuan; "Zhang Degui is such a good man. He follows Hengyuan's tongue, and Hengyuan said "Long", Degui said "not short", Hengyuan said "square", Degui said "not round", Hengyuan said "the casserole can pound garlic", Degui said "can't beat it", Hengyuan said Yuan said, 'A rooster can lay eggs,' but if you get rich, you say, 'I've seen it with my own eyes.'" The second is to follow their favorite type. This kind of person is very observant of his boss's words and demeanor, and he will rely on his superiors to vent their anger. The superior said it was a "deer", but he would never say it was a "horse". Pei Yun, the imperial censor of Emperor Yang of the Sui Dynasty, and Yu Shiji, the minister of internal history, are both typical representatives in this regard. When Pei Yun handles a case, it depends on his master's attitude. "If you want to commit a crime, you will bend the law and obey the feelings, and forge the crime. If you want to forgive, you will obey the lenient code and let him go." He reported good news but not bad news. It was clear that there was an urgent call to the police, but he reported that the "rat and dog thieves" were about to be eliminated, "I hope your majesty will not take it personally." The fifth is the confrontational type when encountering problems. This kind of person has a conflict with his superiors, so he adopts repulsive and resistant behaviors towards his superiors. Regardless of whether the superiors are right or wrong, he always looks for opportunities to "attack" his superiors, refuses to carry out the instructions and orders of his superiors, and often has conflicts with his superiors. The sixth is to judge the head and foot type. Although some people follow the instructions of their superiors, they always like to be picky and judgmental, regardless of whether the instructions are correct or not. Although this kind of criticism is sometimes reasonable, if such behavior is often adopted, it will not only make the superiors feel bored, but also cause bad tendencies among the subordinates, causing a group of "commentators" to appear in the unit and reducing the number of doers in the organization. . This will not be of much benefit to the development of the organization. Be familiar with the psychological characteristics of your superiors and conduct normal psychological communication. Communicating with superiors, like communicating with other people, requires psychological communication. Superiors are also human beings, and they also have emotions and desires. If you are not familiar with the psychological characteristics of your superiors, you will not be able to have good emotional communication and achieve emotional consistency. The working relationship between superiors and subordinates cannot completely disregard emotional relationships. The psychological closeness and mutual support between superiors and subordinates will reduce mutual friction incidents and conflicts. On the contrary, if the emotional differences are large, psychological collisions will inevitably occur and affect the working relationship. The paragraph "Talk about the Empress Dowager Zhao" in "Warring States Policy" can well explain this issue. When the Queen Mother Zhao first came to power, the Qin State sent troops to invade, and the situation was critical. The State of Zhao asked the State of Qi for help, but the State of Qi wanted the Empress Dowager Zhao's most beloved son, Chang'an Jun, as a hostage before sending troops. The Queen Mother was reluctant to let Lord Chang'an go, and the ministers persuaded the Queen Mother to put state affairs first. As a result, the relationship between the monarch and her ministers fell out. The Empress Dowager said: "If there is a further statement that the Lord of Chang'an will be held hostage, the old woman will spit in his face!" The relationship between the monarch and his ministers formed a deadlock. At this time, Zuo Shi asked for an audience. He avoided talking about the affairs of Lord Chang'an. He first talked about issues related to the health of the elderly, such as diet and daily life, to ease the tense atmosphere. After asking the Queen Mother to care about his youngest son Shu Qi, the Queen Mother Emotional *** ringing. The Queen Mother not only agreed, but also smiled and took the initiative to talk about the issue of pity for her son. The relationship between the monarch and his ministers became harmonious and harmonious. At this time, Chu Ling took advantage of the situation and pointed out that it would be very dangerous for the descendants of the monarch to "respect the position but have no merit, and have a generous salary but no work." If the Queen Mother really loves Lord Chang'an, she should let him be a hostage in Qi State to liberate Zhao. When the country is in danger, you must make contributions to the country. Only in this way can Lord Chang'an be able to stand on his own in Zhao in the future. This humane and reasonable persuasion made the Queen Mother wake up and finally agreed that all the people of Chang'an would be used as hostages. Just imagine, if you don't understand the Queen Mother's pity for her son, your persuasion will not only fail, but you may also be humiliated by being "spit in her face".

The purpose of understanding and familiarizing yourself with the psychological characteristics of your superiors is to better handle work relationships. You should not have personal motives and do what they want in order to please your superiors. Leaders' work requires support and help from their superiors. For the sake of the organization's common goals, they sometimes need to give suggestions and advice to their superiors. These cannot be effective without good psychological communication. Social psychology research believes that the frequency of communication plays an important role in establishing interpersonal relationships. If you do not interact with your superiors and adopt an avoidant attitude, it will be difficult to achieve a consistent understanding with your superiors. Without a consistent understanding, mutual support, coordination, and cooperation will be greatly affected. Obey the leadership of your superiors, and do not resist or exclude your superiors. It is the basic organizational principle for subordinates to obey their superiors. Under normal circumstances, the decisions and plans of superior leaders cannot be all wrong. Even if sometimes superiors consider the overall situation and conflict with the interests of small units, they should obey the needs of the overall situation and should not resist and do nothing. What's more, some people have conflicts with their superiors and adopt a resisting and rejecting attitude even though they know that their superiors are right. This is even more inappropriate. Emotions cannot replace reason. When leaders deal with work relationships, they not only have emotional factors, but also need to deal with problems rationally. Backing, resisting, and rejecting are not effective ways to improve the relationship between superiors and subordinates. After a conflict arises between a subordinate and a superior, it is best to communicate with the superior. Even if the superior makes mistakes in his work, do not dwell on the superior's shortcomings. Timely psychological communication will increase psychological compatibility and adopt an attitude of understanding, support and friendship. Dare to point out and make up for the mistakes of superiors, but do not necessarily use harsh words. When superiors make decisions, make plans, and implement commands, they are limited by various restrictions and will inevitably make mistakes. After discovering a leader's mistake, you cannot please your superiors, do what they want, and help them spread, nor should you be afraid that your superiors will be unhappy and remain silent. Instead, you should point them out in a timely manner so that the mistakes can be corrected as soon as possible. Only in this way can losses be reduced. Otherwise, wrong decisions and plans will spread and develop, and one day they will not only harm the organization, but also themselves. Of course, pointing out the mistakes of superiors does not necessarily require harsh words. Some people think that "loyal advice that offends the ears is good for one's actions, and good medicine that is bitter to the mouth is good for the disease." But they don't know that if the purpose of curing diseases can be achieved, wouldn't it be better if good advice that is not offending to the ears and good medicine that is not bitter to the mouth are good for the disease. When you point out the mistakes of your superiors, you don't necessarily have to talk about the disadvantages or say that others are wrong. Sometimes the superiors may not be able to bear it psychologically. You might as well adopt a tactic of "taking detours to get straight" and take a detour route, which may lead to gains in gains. to achieve better results. When Chu Ling talked about the Queen Mother Zhao, there was no objectionable words or fierce words throughout the article. In a harmonious and friendly atmosphere, it successfully helped the Queen Mother correct her mistakes. His critical methods are worth learning from. Pointing out the mistakes of superiors should not be like pouring beans into bamboo tubes and dumping them. Instead, we should consider how to make superiors accept them. Otherwise, criticizing or complaining will not only have no positive effect, but will also increase friction and conflict. For the mistakes of superiors, we should also promote the spirit of "making up for the mistakes" and help the superiors make up for the defects. We should not stand aside and watch jokes or even be sarcastic. This negative attitude toward communication can lead to tension and indifference in the relationship between superiors and subordinates. If you have any good suggestions for your superiors' work, you should put them forward in a timely manner. When making suggestions, you should avoid using a coercive tone and method. Coercing your superiors to accept them is often counterproductive. Put yourself in the shoes of your superiors and think about the problem from the perspective of your superiors, and do not force your superiors to make things difficult for you. It goes without saying that superiors should care about, help, and support subordinates. However, in interpersonal communication, especially when communicating with superiors, subordinates often suffer from non-emotional empathy psychological barriers, that is, they do not put themselves in the superiors' shoes and consider the situations encountered in actual work, and make demands on their superiors without being divorced from realistic subjective and objective conditions. If If it cannot be achieved, then "attack" will be carried out. There are also difficulties for superiors in their work. As a leader, if you can often think about your own inability to meet the requirements of subordinates, you will understand the difficulties of superiors, be considerate of their difficulties, and avoid adding unsolvable problems to superiors. You need to be patient in relationships and be able to withstand setbacks and repetitions. Subordinates will inevitably have to make work suggestions to their superiors, and they must be patient when making suggestions to their superiors. Generally speaking, superiors are wiser than subordinates, but this is not entirely the case objectively. On certain issues, it is normal for subordinates to have a higher understanding than superiors. The examiner had to read the article Fan Jin wrote when he passed the examination several times before he could "understand the meaning" of it. Such cases sometimes happen at work. When the subordinate's understanding is higher than that of the superior, in order to obtain the support of the superior, he must have the spirit of not being afraid of setbacks and repetitions. He must repeatedly explain his views to the superior, and gradually make the superior understand the content and benefits of the new suggestions, so as to convince the superior. , the purpose of obtaining superior support.

Sometimes, because the superior does not understand, it may lead to accusations and criticisms. At this time, you must not be discouraged. You should bravely accept setbacks, misunderstandings and accusations and continue to persevere.