I'll give it to anyone who can make me laugh!

1, hilarious men and women: A tourist said to the female tour guide, "I want to give you a gift. What do you like? " The female tour guide was very happy and wanted to get an expensive gift from the other party, but she was too embarrassed to say it, so she stammered, "I love dressing up." Give me something for my ears, fingers or neck! " After listening, the tourist took out a gift from his bag-a bar of soap. ...

2. Cold joke: A friend of mine has a stomach cold, so we take time off to go home by car together. As soon as I got on the bus, my friend said that I felt a little nauseous ... Then a couple came over ... The woman and the man spoiled and let the man sing, but the man didn't want to sing, but he couldn't hold back the woman's coquetry. As a result, the man really sang without asking ... and then my friend threw up very well. ...

3, hilarious men and women: A girl broke up with her boyfriend and made a very wonderful move: she logged into her boyfriend's QQ and sent a sentence to every woman in her friends: I broke up because I found that I love you! This includes classmates, colleagues, netizens, etc ... After posting, she calmly quit and left a message to her ex-boyfriend with her QQ: As an ex-girlfriend, this is just a small punishment for you. ...

4. Medical joke: A fat man of 100 kg went to consult a doctor about how to lose weight. The doctor said: running eight kilometers a day for 300 days can lose 34 pounds. Three hundred days later, the fat man called the doctor: I did lose 34 kilograms as you said, but I also added a new problem. The doctor asked: What's the problem? The fat man replied, "I am now 2400 kilometers away from home ..."

5. Folk joke: A: My son for several months stopped crying as soon as he heard two kinds of voices. B: Oh! What are these two sounds? The first voice is your singing. B (happy): Well, yes, it seems that your son must be a musical genius in the future! What's the second sound? A: The second is to stop crying as soon as you hear the dog barking. ...

6. Campus joke: I got up late in the morning and ran to school without even eating. I dozed off in class, so I was afraid to sleep on the table, dream of eating's dream of dinner. Suddenly a burst of laughter woke me up, and I asked in wonder, "What are you laughing at?" The deskmate replied, "You farted while sleeping just now! The taste is very strong! " "That's not laughing like this, is it?" "The key is that you click and say," It smells good! Delicious! "Mama of, this is really embarrassing. ...

7, the masterpiece hilarious: Liu Bei stationed in a new field, doing nothing all day, can not help but indulge in the joy of bed. Zhuge Liang advised: If your master wants to be king, he must not be addicted to women. As the saying goes, beauty is a disaster! The words sound just fell and Guan Yu suddenly jumped out and glared at him. What do you mean by that? !

8. Family joke: My wife is not satisfied with doing household hygiene by herself every day! So, she wrote the words "everyone is responsible for family hygiene" on the family blackboard. At noon, my son added the word "A" after school, and his wife found that the blackboard became "family hygiene, and adults are responsible". In the evening, my husband added a horizontal bar after work, and my wife found that the blackboard became "family hygiene, and my wife is responsible ..."

9. Animal joke: The puppy sees the big dog with a sad face and asks: What's the matter? The big dog said that archaeologists found many bones in their master's garden! The dog said, this is a new discovery! Good thing! Why are you so sad? The big dog cried and said, that tm is my private money ...

10, cold joke: there is a person who especially likes adventure. I heard that there were poisonous snakes in the virgin forest, so I prepared a knife and specially invited a tour guide to explore together. Soon, his arm was bitten by a snake. Thinking that a poisonous snake could kill you in an instant, I was anxious and cut my arm with a knife. At this time, the guide said calmly, this snake is not poisonous. ...