High marks for funny jokes.

My mother said my IQ was only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has had a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason.

I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?" "me." I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air. ...

"Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!"

…………。

I can't remember clearly what the teacher looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the hospital doctor, he died because of sudden strong stimulation, which led to retrograde qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

The first grade teacher taught us poultry and animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up and wake you up. What animal is it? "

I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!

After I came home from the mid-term exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My baby son said I didn't fill in a question. My mother asked what it was. My precious son said, there is a question asking me how much I get when I multiply 3 by 7. I don't care. I filled in 15. My mother sprayed the water she just drank on my father's face. Hey ... I'm great!

My father asked me how school was.

"Dear son," the father asked, "is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "

"Of course, dad. The day before yesterday, she said to me,' If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once!' This shows that I have learned everything. "My dad's brain will be ready soon! @#$#@! $%$#@@

One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked my mother who was cooking to let me out. I asked my father, who watched the ball again and shouted' cool'. I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother and he said on the phone; I'll wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said; Fuck off, the teacher slapped me, I yelled, the teacher called me a loser, and I called me mean. Old saying; Get out. I said; I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher suffered from hypertension again on the spot and fainted. .....

When primary school has Chinese class, all Chinese teachers in the school go to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote a word "Bei" on the blackboard and asked me, "Do you know this word?" I answered "no", so Teacher Ni began to inspire me: "Do you have a bed at home?" I answered "Yes" and "What's on the bed?" "Summer sleeping mat" "Where is the summer sleeping mat?" I replied, "My mother", and Teacher Ni thought, this is also true. My mother was covered with a quilt, and then I was inspired: "What about your mother?" "My dad". Teacher Ni didn't expect me to say this. She made a fool of herself in front of so many teachers and asked anxiously, "What about the quilt?" I replied, "The quilt is on the ground." Teacher Ni was so angry that she got lamb disease in the general hospital!

Later, the school changed a teacher and asked us to make sentences. I finished my homework calmly. The teacher was impressed with me. The sentence I wrote is:

Sad-the ditch in front of our house is very sad.

If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive-it's really hot today, and it's a good day for swimming.

Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in the math exam.

Relax, I always start with simple things.

Ginseng-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, so we must do our best.

Quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.

Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly, "Go home from school and strive for 10. When I got home, I was ready to finish the homework assigned by the substitute teacher when there was no one there. I went to the toilet and began to paint the walls with feces. I painted the bathroom with ten strips, and I was satisfied with my homework before I stopped. " My family came back to scold me. The next day, my mother told the principal that the substitute teacher misunderstood the child. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Alas ..... I said to myself psychologically, "I am very active, and ugliness is not my intention. God don't lose your temper, I will live bravely and set off the beauty of the world. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "

One morning in class, I chewed gum and put my feet on the aisle.

At this moment, the teacher said to me, "Please spit out your mouth and put your feet in."

My brain: "@ $ # $% # $ #"

In the days that followed, several teachers suffered misfortune one after another. Fortunately, no one died and there was no big leak. But my fame spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city for a time. However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply realized this.

When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: You say, how to change tracks? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra, if a person does something bad in Yangshiguang, he will become a ghost after death! It turned out that the teacher was talking about how the satellite changed its orbit!

I was awakened by the teacher when I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me, "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?"

Little Wang Sheng told me, "Songzan Gambu." I didn't hear clearly, so I opened my mouth and answered, "Song Dynasty cadres." Later, history failed.

One day, I came back from the barber shop to be cool. As soon as I opened the door, all the girls exclaimed, "Cool Brother is here!" I am embarrassed to scratch my head: "Where! Where! Just cut a cool head. " It happened that the headmaster passed by and said solemnly, "I want to pay for a trouser head!" " "Our brains are on horses! ! Yeah, it's nothing. I walked to the dormitory and went downstairs from the girls' dormitory. I saw a good friend and boasted loudly, Look, I got a cool haircut. On the second floor, a girl immediately put her head out and said, my waistband, you took off my waistband! ! ! ! !

The next day, the biology teacher brought a bird wrapped in cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really don't know, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper. The teacher looked very angry and asked, "Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? "When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily and said," Now it's your turn to guess who I am? "Biology teacher immediately fell ~ ~ ~ ~