Easy to understand English jokes

Simple and easy-to-understand English jokes

A joke is a Chinese word that means words or things that make people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, often unexpected, and give people the wonderful feeling that the god of laughter suddenly comes. Most of them reveal the perverse phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. The following are simple and easy-to-understand English jokes that I have compiled for you. I hope it will be helpful to you.

1. Who was the first man? Who was the first man in the world?

A teacher said to her class: "Who was the first man ?"

A teacher asked her students: "Who was the first man in the world?"

"George Washington," a little boy responded promptly.

A little boy immediately said loudly: "George Washington."

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

The teacher asked the boy with a doting smile: "How do you prove that George Washington was the first man in the world."

"Because," said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

The boy said: “Because he was the first to provoke war, the first to advocate peace, and the first to deeply "The man who wins the hearts of the people."

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. "Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

At this time, an older boy raised his hand, and the teacher asked him, "Who do you think is the first man in the world?"

"I don't know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him ."

The boy replied: "I don't know his name, but I am sure he is not George Washington, because the history book says that George Washington married a widow, so before him, of course, there were There is a man. ”

　2. Always Thirsty

　"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

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A man said to his friend: "I had an operation and the doctor forgot a sponge in my body after the operation.

"

"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Do you feel pain?"

"No, but I am always thirsty!"

"It doesn't hurt, but I am always thirsty. ”

3. if I Am a Manager

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy's answer.

If I I am a manager

One day in class, the teacher asked the students to write an essay on the topic "If I were a manager"

All the students started writing, except one. The boy was the exception. The teacher walked over and asked him why he didn't write.

The child replied. 4. Quick Cleanup.

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

Uninvited guests are on the way, my mother, A perfect housewife, she was busy tidying up. She assigned my dad and my brother the task of cleaning the guest bathroom. After a while, when she went to check on the room, she was surprised. It was cleaned instantly. Then she saw a note on the shower curtain, which said: "Thank you for not looking into the bathtub.

”

5. young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I 've come to install the phone."

A young man just started doing business and rented a beautiful office. One day, he was sitting in the office and saw a person outside, so he Pretending to be busy with business, he picked up the phone and talked nonsense, and kept throwing out a few big figures, as if he was talking about a big deal.

In the end, he finally hung up. , asked the visitor, "What's the matter?" The man replied, "I'm here to install a phone for you. ”

6. Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

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Teacher: There are two birds here, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which one is a swallow and which one is a sparrow?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

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Student: I can’t point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Student: Next to the swallow is the sparrow, and next to the sparrow is the swallow.

7. Three turtles.

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

Just as they got into the cafe, it started to. rain.

As soon as they arrived at the door of the coffee shop, it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, "Go home and get the umbrella."

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So the biggest turtle said to the smallest turtle, "Go home and get your umbrella. ”

The little turtle replied, “I will, if you don’t drink my offee.”

The little turtle replied, “If you don’t drink my coffee, I'll go.

"We won't," the other two promised.

"We won't drink," the other two turtles promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

Two years Finally, the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he won't come back. We can drink his coffee."

Just then a voice called from outside the door, " If you do, I won't go."

At this moment, a voice came from outside the door, "If you drink, I won't go."

8. Getting married again

　"So you want another day off," snorted the teacher to his student, Tom. "I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already."

"So, you have to ask for another day off," the teacher said angrily to his student Tom, "I want to know what excuse you have this time. I made four excuses to attend your grandpa’s funeral.”

Tom replied, “Today my grandma is getting married again.”

Tom replied: “Today is my grandma’s wedding again. Wedding. ”

9. Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

Middle tactics

Three shop owners competing for business on a commercial street An adjoining shop was rented. Onlookers wait to see the show.

The retailer on the right hung up a huge sign, saying: "Big Sale!" "Extra Cheap!"

The store on the left hung up a bigger sign, claiming : "Big bargain!" "Big discount!"

The merchant in the middle then prepared a large signboard, which simply said: "Entrance."

10. Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I'm going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received onefromanother officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, " the matron said.

"Oh, that's all right," answered Joan. "I'm his sister."

"I'm very pleased to meet you, " the matron said, "I'm his mother!"

During World War II, many young women served in military camps. Joan Philips is one of them. She worked in a large military camp and of course met many men, both officers and soldiers.

One night she met officer Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I am leaving the country tomorrow, but I would be happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they corresponded for several months.

Later, he never wrote again. She received a letter from another officer telling her that he was wounded and was in a military hospital in England.

When Joan arrived at the hospital, she said to the head nurse, "I'm here to visit officer Humphreys."

"Only relatives can visit patients here." The head nurse said.

“Oh, yes,” said Joan, “I am his sister.”

“Nice to meet you,” said the head nurse, “I am his mother. " ;