Interesting lines

1, after 80, Zhao Xiaowu and Guan Jian often quarreled after 70.

Zhao Xiaowu's evaluation of Guan Jian hit the nail on the head: You? The iron rice bowl has not been brought up, and the new era has not caught up. You are not good at nostalgia and it is not your turn to innovate! Really marry you after 80 s and 70 s, and I can't shed enough tears all my life!

The key to cowardice suddenly bowed his head and was speechless?

As a post-70s generation, I am speechless? )

By the end of the month, there is no money.

Guan Jian guessed: We? Didn't you agree to be a poor couple for life when you got married?

Zhao Xiaowu sharply rebuked Guan Jian: I can tolerate poverty and meanness, but I can't forgive poverty! I want to be alone with you.

Key:?

3. Guan Jian was bullied by Zhao Xiaowu at ordinary times, and finally broke out, jumping to find his wife Zhao Xiaowu to fight for his life.

Guan Jian shouted loudly: Don't stop anyone? Today, with or without her! With her and without me!

Xiao Wu disdained and smiled coldly: Husband, everyone else is desperate, and they are all with him or without me! What about you? Just a word? Did you die with her or without me?

Guan Jian suddenly became discouraged:

4. Zhao Xiaowu's mantra, no one will be ruthless: I am not afraid of anything, la la la la la!

Every time she is unreasonable, the key to cowardice always gets angry: Are you unreasonable?

Zhao Xiaowu: If family is a reasonable place, why do you need a court? This statement has been changed many times.

Zhao Xiaowu: If women are reasonable, why do they need men?

Zhao Xiaowu: If my hands are working, why do I need your hands?

? Wait, wait, wait.

When she was rude to her nephew cat, it was:

Zhao Xiaowu: If I reason with you, why should I be an adult? Everyone is dizzy!

5. The cat's mother, Zhao (the proprietress in the Wulin legend), took the cat to Zhao Xiaowu and Guan Jian for the first time, and asked Zhao Xiaowu and Guan Jian to help raise it for a summer vacation.

Zhao Xiaowu's key face is reluctant.

Zhao vowed: Our cat is known as the cutest child in the world! Known as hachi!

Zhao Xiaowu Guan Jian wondered: Eight children?

Zhao: If you don't cry, make trouble, jump or shout, he won't pee.

Zhao Xiaowu was shocked: Don't pull or pee? He didn't flinch?

Zhao proudly said: I have endured it! I trained him in strict accordance with West Point Military Academy. Come on!

The cat that is picking its nose comes here.

Zhao: Don't pick your nose with your hands. Stand still. At ease, attention! Look to the left! Get down. Get up! Turn around. Get down again! Split? Thomas full spin?

Zhao Xiaowu: (suddenly stops) Forget it, you don't need these difficult moves, do you?

6. Zhao Xiaowu: In the end, there must be a road and a roller coaster!

7. What's the nickname in the play? Robots? Our child Robert always looks like a standard good student who needs to be beaten. He is wearing suspenders and a bow tie, and his small hair is shiny and smooth. He always choked to death when he spoke. The most hateful thing is that he is not only the most obedient and obedient of all children, but also the richest in the family. His parents are a pair of standard upstarts. According to legend, there is a whole floor office in Guo Mao's home, and BMW, Mercedes-Benz and Porsche drive by even and odd numbers. The funny thing is that every time he and his parents go out, they keep the same pace and dress exactly the same, which looks like triplets from a distance.

8. Robot families call each other in a strange way. Robots never call their parents. They are always polite? Yes father, yes mother? . What are the nicknames of the robot's parents? My age, dear? What's the name of the robot? My minor, honey? .

Mr. Luo Hong, the father of the robot, and Ms. Li Jing, the mother, usually speak classical Chinese plus English plus Mandarin. They often praise each other. Husband (wife) your English has improved again! ? Of course, if they are forced, they will also come out? The mother of the robot jumped up and cursed. What a lie! ?

9, robot mother training robot: my underage dear? Isn't it that other children don't want to play with you? Have you forgotten the famous Tang poem that my father and I often teach you?

Robot dad: Then we'll recite it for you again.

Robot Parents Chorus: There is no grandpa here.

I have my own place. I won't leave you anywhere. Remember all of them! ? Remember, son?

The robot nodded heavily: Grandpa, I remember!

10, three classmates of Zhao Xiaowu came, three big beauties, all better married than Zhao Xiaowu, all rich, and the three beauties said? Good news bird, Yingchun, three rich sisters? ! Zhao Xiaowu and three rich sisters vomited blood, and succeeded in coming out of the three rich sisters by bragging.

Zhao Xiaowu gnashed her teeth, right? Yeah! Rich! Richer than you!

Guan Jian didn't get angry in the past: Wife, are you stupid?

Zhao Xiaowu stared: Stupid? And rich! Yes, yes, yes, I am very angry with you. I want to eat meat pie!

One of Zhao Xiaowu's most frequent dreams is this.

Zhao Xiaowu:? Like the vast sea, the blue pier, the huge warehouse? I, standing at the door of the empty warehouse, looked around, full of famous brands in a warehouse. Prada, Gucci and Issey Miyake! In mid-air, a strong magnetic baritone echoed: Take it. Take it home, beautiful. Yours, all yours, your husband pays, pays, pays for you! ?

12, spoofing "auspicious three treasures".

? Angry Zhao Xiaowu and woebegone Guan Jian and the cat were dressed in Mongolian costumes, singing and dancing.

Zhao Xiaowu: Husband!

Key: hey!

Zhao Xiaowu: Why do I always have that strange dream?

The key: because of poverty.

Zhao Xiaowu: It hurts to think of those famous brands.

Key: I also hurt.

Zhao Xiaowu: Why is our money always insufficient?

Guan Jian: Alas, your husband is really useless.

Zhao Xiaowu Guan Jian: (in chorus) Oh? We are a poor family? Huh? Huh? Oh?

13, Ryan Zhao Xiaowu helped her take care of the children.

Zhao: (sad) Look at me now. I'm doing business alone and I'm a loner. I am also a person in my life, guarding an empty bed alone; I sell clothes and carry big bags every day, like a man; I finally came home from work and had to take care of Dong Hang. (Sobbing) But no matter how hard and tired I am, I can't find anyone who is willing to help me. Speaking of these sad things, I can't stop crying. Two lines of tears were fooled, fooled.

14, there are cast members. Robot parents are full of confidence and take the robot out.

Robot father: Although I am his father, I can proudly say that our children are full of aura!

Robot mother: Look at this gas field? How radical?

The robot twisted its body and performed a super shocking dance.

Robot mother gloats: does the director get it? Our children performed Michael Jackson's dance.

Robot dad is more proud: Michael Jackson? It's Michael Jackson, the director, you know?

Mother Robot: Do you feel him here? Forced? Its aura?

15, Zhao Xiaowu also wants to be a star. Guan Jian obviously doesn't like her star path.

The key: your five senses are ok, mainly your face! What is popular on TV now are beautiful women with small faces, pointed faces and fox faces.

Zhao Xiaowu is not angry: I am also a melon-faced beauty!

Key:? A word is missing? West? ! You are a watermelon-faced beauty.

Zhao Xiaowu:?

16, Zhao Xiaowu became the special star of the cast, and he was given 500 yuan.

Qin: Say two words 500 and one word 250?

Lao Lu: Look at people at noon. Now one mouth is 250, and one mouth is 250!

Qin: Can I interview you and tell you how you feel?

Zhao Xiaowu suddenly covered his mouth.

Zhao Xiaowu is vague:? I can't talk nonsense with you anymore, okay? It costs money!

17, Zhao Xiaowu and Guan Jian's friends Qin and Lao Lu are a disgusting couple. The standard combination of beauty and beast.

The scene of two people expressing their affection together is always disgusting.

Lao Lu: OK, you will always be my backbone;

Qin: Ningning, you will always be my reassurance.

Lao Lu: You are my soul catcher.

Qin: You are my ecstasy soup.

Lao Lu: My little fresh meat.

Qin: My little stink.

In one episode, the lens suddenly turned out of the painting, and all the staff vomited together.

A fieldworker shouted at the camera:? Don't order a box lunch today, no one eats it! ?

18, in this play, no matter who calls names, they will say the same thing.

? If I lie again, a muffled thunder will fall from the sky and chop me alive into small pieces of charcoal! Not yet?

Every time I swear, there will be a muffled thunder. Of course, no one is chopping.

Swearing people always shrug their shoulders: what's the matter, isn't it?

It is said that this was invented by the most timid and honest key in the play. He was proud once before he revealed the secret to his good friend Qin.

Key: remember: swear that you will be struck by lightning in the future, not to mention being hit by a car when you go out? (Thunder again, no split, shrugs, smug) Safe!

Qin stare big eyes, only feel pleasantly surprised!

19, Zhao Xiaowu's famous saying: an inch of time and an inch of gold are hard to buy.

An inch of time, an inch of copper, an inch of copper can't buy a sleepy? Go to sleep.

20. In the play, a fashionista came to help the key of being old-fashioned. They spoofed a TV program "Handsome Man" by themselves. The introduction of fashionistas in it is like this.

Please welcome:

Clothing is basically synchronized with aliens,

Drive a few cars and planes to grab the road,

Covered with prison maps of various countries,

Thompson, who claims to be independent, is still eating his parents' midnight saints.

Fashionista Thompson is wearing a standard hip-hop dress? Yeah, yeah. Let's go

Grandpa looked at him with Alzheimer's disease, wondering, young man, what happened to your hand? Is it milking?

Thompson vomited blood on the ground.

2 1, Lu Ning: On such an ordinary and extraordinary day, we are extremely excited and calm?

Zhao Xiaowu: I am very excited and very calm. Your heart rate is irregular, right?

22. Key: Comrades, look out the window, the spring breeze is blowing gently, the summer is hot, and the autumn wind is cool. Is it snowflakes fluttering?

Qin: What's the weather like?

23. Sister Hua, an uneducated nanny at home, has always claimed to be a private teacher (only afterwards did she know that she was cleaning in a rural school). The topic she gave the children was:

Sister Hua: May I ask the slogan of China's Olympic bid: A. New Beijing, Great Olympics, B. New Shanghai, Great Olympics, C. New Oriental, Great Olympics, or D. Xinjiekou, Great Olympics?

24. Zhao Xiaowu said that the cat was crying: How can I be worthy of your mother who is not dead? !

25. Zhao Xiaowu thinks that cats always say that pooping at home is too ugly and forbid him to say those three words.

After a while, the cat came in timidly.

Cat: Aunt? My ass wants to throw up!

26. Zhao Xiaowu, Hua Jie, Zhao and the characters such as Zhao, Xiaozu Grandma and Youwei Laozu appearing in the film are all from Zhao County, Shandong Province.

Legend has it that the whole county in that county is surnamed Zhao! Therefore, Zhao Xiaowu has been complacent and pretends to be a noble family.

What is even more strange is the specific place name of that county? Zhao Xiaowu Zhao's household registration book says that his ancestral home is Zhaoxian Township, and Kobanawa is Sibo Township. Grandma Xiaozu is the eldest daughter of Sun Zhen, the current mayor of Uncle Township in Zhao County! What a senior!

27. The perfect little housewife who is gentle in pungent and full of love in dazzling? Short for bitch.

28. Dong Xing: Running around with your good figure must be pentathlon, right?

Robot: He is much better than pentathlon. Four more points? Five bears!

29. The dirty cat reached out its black hand and grabbed the steamed bread.

Zhao Xiaowu exclaimed: Stop! Is that forked thing on your arm a hand?

30. That super narrow-minded little grandpa and grandma are of great seniority.

What is her motto? Grandpa made it with his grandson.

Zhao Xiaowu: Imagine a grandparent appearing in front of his grandson as a grandson. What should grandson do? In other words, a person who should bow down to you when you see him, bow down and kowtow to you, how can you reciprocate?

Guan Jian scratched his head and pondered for a long time: dig a hole in the ground and jump down to kowtow to her?

3 1, Guan Jian felt that he had a cold and wanted to find medicine. He dug out a bottle and handed it to him in the afternoon.

Key: yo! What is this?

Zhao Xiaowu: Just eat. Why do you ask so many questions?

Guan Jian's vigilance: My family told me from an early age that a medicine and a food should not be eaten if the source is unknown.

Zhao Xiaowu glared: I am your wife.

Guan Jian shook his head: So what? At that time, Comrade Wu Dalang didn't know what people gave him and what he ate because Comrade Pan Jinlian had finished this sentence. And the result? What a terrible ending?

Zhao Xiaowu is angry: if you don't eat, you won't eat so much nonsense. Yes, I'm poisonous. Why don't I mix the crane top red with the three steps and sprinkle some peacock gall? The heartbroken powder is thickened!

Guan Jian grabbed the medicine and swallowed it in one gulp!

32. The fattest kid in the play is called Paopao Erba. (This name seems to come from two tower-guarding catfish spirits in Journey to the West? Running around bullying, bullying Boers running around? Is screenwriter Bai Mei really born after 70? )

Fat running bully is the most disloyal person. Whoever feeds him will admit it. What is his pet phrase? Your hands and feet are weak when you touch me! ?