Any Ghost Festival jokes?

1. Stubborn mouth

Lao Zhang is dead.

Lao Zhang was very fond of talking when he was alive. Regardless of whether it was justified or not, and regardless of whether it was appropriate or not, he would mix in any topic and always try to gain the upper hand in any matter.

And we will never withdraw our troops until we win. No matter what everyone comments about in the workplace, he has to participate, argue, and be arrogant. People say that he caught the shit and gave it to him without changing it. This person is also proud of himself, thinking that he is a master of argument. This man's ears are very good. He can hear you fart from three rooms away, and he wants to discuss it with you.

It takes two days to complete. As time goes by, no one is willing to discuss things in front of him. Sometimes they just can’t avoid it and he intervenes halfway. Just watch. , one person left for a while, no one left for a while, and everyone in the last circle must have left. Lao Zhang still refused to let go, insisting on using someone as a backing to continue the debate.

However, he died anyway, dying of an emergency. The old Zhang family bought him a good spot in the cemetery.

On the day of the funeral, all my colleagues went. For some reason, everyone felt a little bit of schadenfreude in their hearts. Although they didn't dare to show it on their faces, they tacitly understood each other. After the body was buried, it was everyone's turn to bow and observe silence. A few young people were poking at the back, while pretending to observe silence, they quietly studied the black coats worn for the funeral.

One person said he was wearing Australian material, the other refused to admit it and dragged everyone on his back, and the third person said

At most it was wool from Inner Mongolia.

This is a voice that suddenly came from the grave: "Tch! You don't know how to do it! This is a sheep from New Zealand!"

2. Waiting for ghosts

The cemetery on the mountain is so haunted that people in eight villages within ten miles dare not visit it.

There was a bold man in Qianzhuang who did not believe in evil and insisted on staying there all night to see what happened. All the noisy ones who had something to do were followed.

But after all, it was not just to watch the general bustle. There were many people walking away halfway, and only five or six people finally arrived at the cemetery.

It was completely dark, and the cemetery was getting more and more eerie. Almost all the remaining people had fled, leaving only one person from outside the village.

Watching the night with Hou Daring.

There was no movement throughout the night. The sky turned blue, and there was the sound of roosters crowing in the distance. Hou boldly stretched his waist and complained:

"What a haunting! There is nothing, so I had to stay awake all night!"

The man responded: "Yeah. ! I have been guarding it for more than a hundred years, but I have never seen a ghost! ”

3. Carelessness

A man was walking at night and had no place to stay. Fortunately, he opened the door of a hut that had been deserted for a long time! Asked: "Is there anyone?"

A ghost inside responded: "No one!"

The man nodded and said: "No one is good, I can do what I want!" Then he went inside and slept. .

4. Bat

When a bat dies, it goes to the underworld to hear the judgment. The ghost judge stared at the bat for a long time and was speechless, and suddenly said: "According to common sense, it should follow the six paths of reincarnation, but this thing is neither a bird nor a beast. It is really difficult to judge, so why not reincarnate as a bat!"

5. Toilet God

A few people invited the Brush Immortal. They suddenly smelled a strange smell and thought it was a way. They were very frightened, but the Brush Immortal consoled him and said: "Don't be surprised, don't be surprised, I am a mao

The God of the Toilet”

6. There are clothes but no clothes

The two talked about ghosts. One person said that when a person dies and becomes a ghost, his clothes cannot change, so ghosts have no clothes. Another said there was. The two argued until their faces turned red

and they decided to search for ghosts in a dark place. Their hard work paid off, and they finally found several naked ghosts in a damp ruins. The visitor said proudly: "It's just as I said!" An old man passing by heard it and laughed dumbly: "This place used to be a bathhouse, and naked ghost guests often came to relive it."