The lowest emotional intelligence is discernment

Maslow's theory divides needs into five categories: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs, from lower levels to higher levels. In the past, when society was underdeveloped, we pursued more physiological and safety needs. Now with the guarantee of basic material life, more and more people are beginning to pursue social needs and respect needs.

Therefore, the word "emotional intelligence" has begun to be mentioned more and more, and books about emotional intelligence on the market have become increasingly popular, such as "EQ Emotional Intelligence", "Emotional Intelligence for Managers", "Emotional Intelligence Decision Making" destiny". A person's emotional intelligence can be reflected in the way he speaks and does things. In my opinion, the lowest emotional intelligence is discernment.

The manifestations of lack of discernment are usually divided into the following situations:

In the 2007 National Olympics porn scandal, Zhang Xiaobin was pushed into public opinion because of an inappropriate joke. peak. At that time, during a conversation between soldiers and players, a veteran who had served for ten years shared his life and feelings in the army. Afterwards, Zhang Xiaobin talked about this veteran when chatting with the instructor, and said in a joking tone: "It's really not easy for this veteran. He has not had time to go out to find a lady in 10 years." This officer, who is subject to strict military discipline, is completely He had not expected that he would say such words that hurt the feelings and dignity of the soldiers. He felt insulted and very angry.

Precisely because Zhang Xiaobin’s joke, which was said in the wrong place at the wrong time, was exposed by the media and caused a strong response from the public. For a time, everyone criticized the low quality of Chinese football players. In this Olympic Games incident, Zhang Xiaobin completely forgot the identity of the person he was talking to, and failed to accurately judge the other person's attitude, which earned him a lot of public criticism.

Joking is humorous when done right, but insulting when done wrong.

Some time ago, Ah Shui announced in the invoice circle that he and Ramen had broken up with each other. Ah Shui and Ramen have been in the same class from junior high school to high school. Their friendship is as strong as love. I can't figure out the reason why they broke up with each other. During a casual chat, I learned that Ramen always mentioned Da Zuo in front of Ah Shui intentionally or unintentionally. Da Zuo was Ah Shui's first love, and their relationship ended with Da Zuo cheating on each other. When Ah Shui, who was in love for the first time, met the playboy Da Zuo, a taboo that never mentioned it came into being. I don't know what the starting point is, but La Mian always talks about Colonel's current situation in front of Ah Shui or proposes to ask him to have dinner and play. Ah Shui also expressed his attitude more than once, but he failed to stop La Mian from exposing the scars. Finally, Ah Shui chose to distance himself from La Mian, which was an expression of disappointment and a kind of protection for himself.

The act of uncovering scars while knowing others' taboos is a typical lack of discernment. I believe that whether it is a friend, lover or relative, protecting a person without saying anything is the most basic respect for him.

Sometimes it is difficult to detect a person's joy at the first time, but sorrow cannot be completely hidden. A frown, a dim look or even a cold tone will indicate his current mood. Not being able to understand the sadness of others is sometimes a sign of selfishness. If you see someone feeling depressed and silent, don't share your new lipstick with excitement. If you see someone looking angry and frowning, you should understand the meaning of enough is enough.

Understanding a person's unhappiness is the first step to understanding that person.

Once I heard this conversation while waiting for the elevator:

"How much is your salary per month now?"

"The salary is just like that. Well, I can barely support myself.”

“Three thousand, right?”

“Um, almost.”

“Is there five thousand?”< /p>

............

When you ask a question and the answer the other party gives you is ambiguous, don’t ask any more, even if he He didn't show any obvious sadness, but at least it was not difficult to see that he was hesitant to speak.

Asking for details on a question that the other party does not want to answer is not a sign of seeking knowledge. On the contrary, it is more of a sign of lack of education.

And knowing how to understand a person's emotions through some non-verbal information and make appropriate adjustments to one's words and deeds requires our discernment.

Being a discerning person, speaking indiscriminately and doing whatever you want will only lead to alienation and neglect. Eyesight can better help us reach the end of the road to pursue social needs and respect needs.

The lowest emotional intelligence is to have discernment. This era requires us to be a discerning person, a person who understands other people's likes and dislikes and protects other people's taboos.