Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Zhao Benshan's lines of "Three Whips"
Zhao Benshan's lines of "Three Whips"
County magistrate Shi-40 years old, simple-minded, referred to as Shi (Li Hai)
Xiao Wu-30-year-old driver, wearing glasses, referred to as Wu ().
Wu, I said the county magistrate, isn't there anyone yet?
Why is there no one there? Come on, Xiao Wu, let's do something for ourselves.
Wu, you said this old broken road reminds me of something!
Shilai, look at the reason.
Oh, Wu county! The car sank deeper and deeper. The exhaust pipe is covered with mud. ...
Zhao (yelling at the driver) must drive ... drive! Drive!
Wu, I said, what are you doing? Where is the old donkey going?
Zhao Zha, tell me!
Wu didn't see this pouting?
Don't move, Zhao. Come and have a look. Who can tell it's a person of this shape? Give me the donkey.
I'm scared.
Miss Wu, what are you arguing about?
Zhao, what are you doing standing in the middle of the road?
What is Wu doing? This car is not stuck.
Zhao (looking down with a flashlight) Oh, it's a car! What a trap!
What is Wu's stuff?
Zhao is really in too deep! Drive faster, I'm still waiting to go home for dinner!
Uncle Shi, we are trying to find a way.
Zhao, think quickly!
Wu Tao (reluctantly) came! Nobody stopped you!
Zhao nonsense! If you stop in the middle of a * * * wide road, how can I get there?
Wu can leave if he wants.
Zhao, you say, I'll go there in your car!
Wu, how dare you? If I sell it to you, you can't afford it!
Shi (talking about Wu) How can you talk!
Zhao, who did you say you sold?
Stone (explanation) Grandpa, our car. ...
Zhao, I won't tell you, I will tell your leader.
Who is the leader, Wu? This is the leader, and I am the driver.
Driver Zhao?
Where is the driver Wu?
Driver Zhao, what are you cattle? You're the driver, I'm the driver, and we'll go together, collectively-
Car boss. You cow what!
Wu has been hungry for a long time. Who wants to chat with you here?
Zhao, you have been hungry for a long time, and my donkey hasn't eaten for a day.
Wu (angrily) How can you talk like that?
Zhao, how can you talk like that!
Shi Xiaowu, why are you so rude! Uncle, have you always been from the front village?
Zhao is right. It will be home soon.
The stone is just right, and we are going to your village, too.
Zhao, I can see that too.
Uncle Shi, our car can't get out and your car can't get through! You are familiar with the old road. Do something.
Zhao Can can't help it, just break the old road, catch up with this skyshatter, and then smash the driver.
Wu, who are you calling a broken driver?
Zhao said that you wronged you, and it is illegal for you to be like this. What kind of car do you drive, you old nearsighted man?
Car, you give me a donkey car, I don't need it.
Wu no, do you understand? This is a flat mirror.
Zhao is driving, so everyone is still relatively calm. (Asking Stone) Can you calm down?
Shi (laughs) Hey, Grandpa, you'd better do something.
Zhao has an idea. Find someone to carry it out.
Where can Wu Can find someone? The car horn was crushed to death, and no one called it out.
Zhao (surprised) What? You honked the horn? It's over, it's over, it's over. Why are you honking the horn?
What happened to Shi?
Zhao hasn't eaten yet, has he?
Si Tong didn't.
Zhao is finished, the car can't get out, and I can't eat any more. You haven't been to this village, have you?
Si Tong didn't.
Zhao is not familiar with the terrain?
The stone is unfamiliar.
Zhao doesn't know where this is. The front is Gaozhuang, and the back is Zhaozhuang. This is Ma Jiahe's son.
Wu Yes, son?
Zhao, do you understand?
Wu doesn't understand.
Zhao, this is the old revolutionary base area. You honk like an information tree,
Don't talk about people, just talk about those breathless people: chickens don't listen to drink, pigs don't let them touch, and dogs don't let them.
Climbing up the hillside, the turtle in the pool went into shock, fearing that it was his turn to serve the table.
Wu has been in trouble for a long time, and you treat us like food.
Oh, Zhao, don't be modest. With your rotten stomach, it's good to just eat without taking it.
Uncle Shi, eating is a trivial matter.
Zhao, drinking is a big deal.
Stone doesn't mean that. Uncle, how many years have you been on this broken road?
Zhao Lao has been for many years.
Si Tong was trapped in all the cars.
Zhao's donkey cart won't get stuck.
Wu people are talking about motor vehicles.
Zhao: I know it's a motor vehicle. What are you excited about? Let me ask you, is the cannon car a motor vehicle?
Wu nonsense.
Zhao is not sleepy.
Where's the stone?
Zhao was a No.8 bus in those days. People were carried out.
Stone.
Is Zhao Tanke awesome? I'm stuck here.
Where's the stone?
Zhao, that is Japanese. People dig holes for it. At that time, I was in the guerrilla knife row digging group.
The length of the pit. There are pits designed by me in this area, including big pits, small pits and deep pits.
There is still water in the water, and there are nails in the water. If you go in, you will disappear.
Wu, did you dig a hole today?
Come on, Zhao, you don't grow up. At that time, digging holes was for Japanese devils, but it can't be repaired today.
Come on!
Uncle Shi, I heard that there are many local products in the mountains?
Zhao Manshan is a treasure and can't be shipped out. No, a foreign businessman came two days ago and took a fancy to us.
Cabbage. People call it green food and say that a processing factory will be built in the city.
Stone, this is a good thing.
As soon as Zhao actually visited others, he understood that it was a transportation problem and said that he was using cars to transport roads now.
If transported by donkey cart, green food will become black food when it arrives in the city. If you use a helicopter,
Pull hard, there is not enough gas money.
How did the stone turn out?
Zhao turns out that foreigners are very decisive. Three sentences can make things clear.
What did Shi say?
Zhao is very affectionate.
What did the stone slag say?
Zhao Faren thought deeply?
What are three sentences?
Zhao wasted his effort.
It seems that this road is not easy to walk, which directly affects economic development!
This is not Zhao's fault. Over the years, in order to build roads, every family has kept donkeys. This donkey can handle this.
A broken road.
Hey, Uncle Wu, when I mentioned donkey, I remembered it. Can you lend us the donkey to help pull the car out?
Zhao, you are too simple. You need a rest after a day's work.
Wu, let it give us another lesson.
Zhao, you treat it as a driver, saying that if you work overtime, you will work overtime. I tell you, this donkey is the treasure of my wife and me.
I have a higher status at home than I do, and my wife usually dotes on me. Refusing to carry the goods over 200 Jin; One hundred Jin, I
I have to take half. Once, I ground rice noodles, weighing 20 Jin. How did your wife feel on the way back?
It hurts. Finally, I took the rice noodles off the donkey, put them on my back and rode back.
Uncle Wu, if you really feel sorry for the donkey, then pay for it.
Zhao shaozheng's affair. Now some people only think about money and money when they do one thing. Money. It seems that you can't do anything without money.
Yes Then how much do you pay?
Look, Wu, don't you want money?
Zhao, let me tell you a joke. If you really give it, we don't want it yet. I'll take you to see the old district for free today.
Human consciousness.
Thank you, Uncle Wu.
What does Zhao Xie want? He wants to unload the donkey quickly. (Make a sleeve and the bell rings)
Shi Xiaowu, help your uncle.
Zhao, you put the lid on. Come here. Whew! What are you standing for? Not you. Come here. You, donkey, me, me
You three are in the front.
Wu, what the hell?
Zhao, if you and I add the donkey, we will give it back to the three of us and drag it in front. (of a stone) you put the direction.
Shi, you are so old. How can you drag in front! You always grasp the direction.
Zhao's decision is completely correct.
Wu, wait! Can you turn the steering wheel left and right?
Zhao, you forget that we are in the same trade. What's the difference between this and a donkey cart! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Rest assured, let's go.
Left; Whoa, whoa, whoa! It is to the right; Drive! Is to move forward; A little! It is reverse gear; Wow; Gee ... (dragon
Voice)! Step on the brakes.
Hao! We're ready.
Zhao, are you ready? Drive!
Wu, wait! Why are you yelling? There are people in front of this.
Zhao, why are you doing this? At present, you three are mainly donkeys. Can you understand me when I shout "Forward"?
Hao! As long as the car can get out, shout anything!
Zhao Can T. It's impolite to shout like this. Well, you push the back and then push here. This day
Can the window be opened?
Wu, what are you doing with this thing?
Zhao, I shook the whip.
Which whip do you shake when Wu gets on the bus?
Zhao, I smoked a donkey and shouted slogans to command you two. Isn't it all there?
Hao, open it.
Zhao, pay attention. Drive! The front legs are tense. Drive! Push your hind legs and bend your back! Whoa, whoa! (Wu Yishan, Zhao
What are you doing? You eat too many crabs, so you are very tired!
Wu, what do you call this? One, one.
Uncle Shi, you shout with a little rhythm and great atmosphere. We can work hard.
Hey, Zhao, listen! Drive! "This road has not been repaired, and it is full of ridges and ditches. Come by car
Drink it. Go back after drinking. Drive! Wow, this road is really special. It hasn't been laid for years, Chun.
Breeding fertilizer can't be shipped in, and persimmon in greenhouse can't be shipped out! The people are crying anxiously! "
Stone (then shouted) "Don't be angry, uncle, I counted this time. If this road is not repaired,
What a good cadre that is! "
Zhao Xu ... What did you say? Want to build this road?
The stone is right!
Is it true about Zhao?
This stone will be repaired soon.
Zhao, can you count?
Wu, this is the new county magistrate Shi.
County magistrate Zhao Shi? Is that an old stone for the villagers to build a bridge?
Wu is right!
Zhao, why didn't you tell me earlier? (turning to shake hands with Shi) This time, it is also a county magistrate who does practical things. It really needs repairing.
Road?
Shi, I'm here to check this road today.
Zhao is so excellent. If men, old and young, know about this ... (kneeling down and being lifted up by stones) Well, I just said that.
Those words, you forever, forever. ...
Stones are not important.
Zhao, don't worry! You must take it to heart.
Stone, don't worry! If you are old, I will keep it in mind. If this road is not repaired, it will be big.
Home can do it for it if the person is trapped inside. ...
Hao! Do you have this sentence ... today I'm going to carry your car out like a cannon car that carried the No.8 bus.
Come on! You wait.
Wu, why don't you go back to the village and call someone?
Zhao doesn't have to. Lao Zhao whipped me three times, and the villagers immediately rushed to pick up the county magistrate. (waving a whip, all three heard it.
The sound of the whip sounded. Shout) folks! Sorghum rice stewed tofu is ready! The county magistrate came to build roads for us. Lift the car!
[The crowd sings.
"Old and young guys help, hey hey! Lift up, go forward, hey hey, the road under your feet,
Look carefully, hey hey! Black is mud, yellow is earth, gnome male-"! Go up the hill, drum up,
Hopefully ... hey, hey, hey, hey! ………
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