Daily funny classic quotes

When you are tired and bored, read these classic funny quotes and you will relax your body and mind. Below is a collection of daily funny classic quotations (100 selected ones) that I have collected. Welcome to read.

1. People who like me are good people. Anyone who doesn't like me is a bad person. Anyone who hates me is not human.

2. The more you spend, the closer you are to the bed.

3. Although the bird is small, it really covers the entire sky.

4. I like to be friends with anyone who scolds me. I like to make friends with 2B.

5. In the year before last, we ate, slept, played, and enjoyed life. In the following year, we were struggling to support our families. And in the last year, we squatted at the door every day and greeted the passers-by.

6. Making money is like digging the ground with a needle, and spending money is like water seeping into the soil.

7. Cucumbers must be photographed, and life must be exciting.

8. Being mean is also an art. Let’s improve this art together!

9. Every time I try to cram the Buddha, the Buddha always gives me a kick.

10. I wanted to turn around magnificently, but unexpectedly hit the wall in a low-key manner.

11. Since ancient times, no one has ever died. He doesn’t need paper to poop!

12. A beautiful woman leaves without hugging her, which often makes the pervert burst into tears.

13. If you don’t abandon it, you will never leave it in this life. If you dislike it, you will die and leave.

14. Growing old together is not just a matter of dyeing your hair and knocking out a few teeth.

15. In every dormitory, there is one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores, and one who sleeps very late.

16. In the current weather, instant noodles can be soaked directly in tap water.

17. I will not offend others unless they offend me. If someone offends me, I will give in three points. If someone offends me again, I will eradicate it.

18. A big woman cannot be without power for a day, and a little woman cannot be without money for a day!

19. I would rather you hold other women and miss me than you hold me and miss other women.

20. Youth, you are so acne-prone!

21. You must be a jumping person.

22. Don’t use your video playing speed to challenge Gola Hei’s skills.

23. Women in the new era can go to the hall, scale the wall, fight the mistress, and beat the gangster, but they can't get out of the kitchen.

24. The most glorious moment of the apple was when it hit Newton on the head.

25. If you come out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later!

26. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience?

27. Confucius said that when three people are walking together, there must be my wife. Choose the pretty one and marry her.

28. In order to build a harmonious society, wife, let’s do it again.

29. If you are handsome and have a car, that is chess. If you have money and a house, that is a bank.

30. After all, I wear glasses, so how can I tease a decent woman?

31. When a man is dumped, it’s about money. When a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance. When I was dumped, it’s about my head.

32. If I don’t hit you, you don’t know that I am both civil and military.

33. Miss, I’m sorry, I’m not handsome. But not every woman has the opportunity.

34. Various postures and various moves. All kinds of surging, all kinds of floating.

35. If you can’t reach it, try stepping on it with your left foot and your right foot.

36. Life is short, it must be sexy.

37. To all parents: please do not call your children "little brats", because from a genetic perspective, this is very detrimental to you.

38. Don’t seek to be well-matched, just seek to feel qualified.

39. People in the upper class always like to do some obscene things.

40. To explain is to cover up, to cover up is to be dishonest, and to be dishonest is to take care of yourself!

41. I am not a bone and cannot be chased by every dog.

42. Be brave enough to admit your mistakes and never change them.

43. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", and I only did the first four.

44. When I love you, it’s what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you.

45. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationships.

46. As soon as I get up in the morning, I feel the urge to take a nap.

47. Eating is what I want, and losing weight is what I want. I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.

48. My mother said that the prodigal son will not be able to exchange for gold, so who will give me gold? I change.

49. You have quite a personality, but you are not tall and have such a bad personality.

50. Fat, why are you always so persistent with me?

51. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you to your whole family, thank you to the eighteen generations of our ancestors!

52. If you destroy me now, I will destroy you in the future.

53. There are many ways to end a friendship, the most radical one is to borrow money and not repay it.

54. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!

55. Life is like a news broadcast. You cannot escape by changing the channel.

56. If cutting off your hair means cutting off memories, will it mean that if I cut my head bald, I will lose my memory?

57. Being handsome is useless! In the end, he wasn’t eaten by pawns!

58. You even believe the advertisements. You will become stupid by reading!

59. God has not favored me particularly, nor has he abandoned me. He is just playing tricks on me.

60. If you don’t act recklessly when you are young, what will you say when you are old?

61. In fact, I am a homebody. It’s just a matter of whose home I stay at.

62. The mountains are not high, but trees are spiritual; people are not handsome, but money is good.

63. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

64. Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

65. Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law is the legend.

66. With two dollars in mind, five million in mind!

67. What distance produces is not beauty, but the third party.

68. After getting to know you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

69. My socks are full of holes, and my future is not a dream.

70. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

71. Protect yourself, love others, and please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

72. Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to cow dung.

73. Apart from teeth, there is also love that is difficult to extricate oneself from in the world.

74. Getting married on August 8, 2008 is a good idea.

75. It is better to go to bed while watching TV than to lie in bed and watch TV.

76. Give me a fulcrum, and I will tilt the neighbor's car into the ditch to prevent him from honking the horn when he sees me.

77. I will still look for you in the next life, because besides me, you are the stupidest person.

78. Don’t blame the dog for following you if you look like a bun!

79. If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

80. The tongue lasts longer than teeth, and software lasts longer than hardware.

81. Don’t be afraid of enemies like tigers, but be afraid of teammates like pigs.

82. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

83. Rats carry knives and look for cats all over the street.

84. As long as you work hard, you should also poop seriously.

85. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind...

86. Who among the Chinese is the fastest? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because it is said that Cao Cao Cao Cao has arrived.

87. Get away from me as far as your thoughts go.

88. Only when you stand in a long queue at the train station can you truly realize that you are a "descendant of the dragon."

89. Lovers eventually become family members.

90. Spring is here, and a group of wild geese are flying north, sometimes forming a B-shape, and sometimes a T-shape.

90. A strong life does not need explanation.

91. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

92. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

93. Grandpas come from grandsons.

94. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have human thoughts. If a pig had the mind of a human, it wouldn't be a pig - it would be Bajie.

95. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

96. I won’t bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies won’t fall from the sky, let alone money.

97. It’s more cost-effective for you to buy me 10 cigarettes than for me to go to a nightclub once.

98. In fact, I am a genius, but it is a pity that God is jealous of talents!

99. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but it will be miserable if you are silent for a while.

100. When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.