Everyday smile

1. After graduation, Ban Hua started her own business and opened a shop, and got up early every morning to get greedy. I had a crush on her and went to her shop. When chatting, I said to her, why are you so tired? You say the word and I will support you.

Ban Hua said with tears, "I am working so hard because I am afraid of falling into the hands of people like you."

2. I just saw half a bowl of black in my friend's bowl. I asked, "Coffee or sesame paste?"

The friend looked haggard and replied, "There is not enough soil to eat. . . I add water to the soil and mix it into mud porridge! "

I'll go. . .

3. "When you love chrysanthemums, your glasses will light up."

"Liar, my eyes don't feel bright with medlar in my chrysanthemum."

"Others will shine at the moment! ! ! "

4. "What can you do except eat and drink?"

"Lazar."

"What do you know besides eating and drinking?"

"Have fun."

"What are you good at besides eating and drinking?"

"Gambling."

5. My mother looks at me everywhere when I am old and unmarried.

I brought her a cup of milk tea when I went out, and as soon as I handed it to her, I began to growl, "I said you burned too much money, didn't I?" How much can you earn? "

I quickly explained that the second cup was half price and cheap.

Now, my mother is even more angry: "Why do you want to leave me the discounted bargains?"

Me! @#! @#

6. My girlfriend had a toothache and decided to pull out the sick tooth. I went to a nearby dental clinic, and my best friend whined and covered her cheek.

My girlfriend was in great pain when the dentist examined her. .

My brother wiped the sweat from his head and told me to go out and call some neighbors. Your sister-in-law is not at home, I'm afraid of misunderstanding.

7. When I first arrived at the company early in the morning, I saw the female supervisor mad, swearing and throwing things. Later, I heard from my colleague that I introduced a blind date to the female supervisor. The matchmaker told her that the man's family is very powerful and is engaged in iron ore business.

Later, I learned that the other family collects scrap iron!

8. I was driving on the road today and was hit by Audi. The young Audi driver came down and gave me 200 yuan, saying that I could still afford a broken Volkswagen.

I smiled, took off my sunglasses, took out my lighter, quietly lit a cigarette and said to him, young man, don't underestimate this public. If you don't know about this car, call your father and ask him how much the new Santana 2000 collector's edition is worth.

The BMW driver is stupid, so call his father quickly.

A minute later, he asked me for 100 yuan back. . .

9. A female colleague in the company is very kind to me. I felt that she liked me a little, and I liked her a little, so I confessed to her on WeChat. I didn't expect her to reply to me: Do you know the three illusions of life?

Me: Which three?

She: 1. I always feel that someone is calling you. 2. I always feel that my phone is ringing. 3. I always feel like you and then I was hacked. . .

Feel interesting, please leave your thumb, thank you for your support!