What if my boyfriend thinks I gave money to my parents?

It was raining and rustling in the morning. I held Miao in my arms and went to the square downstairs, and there were snow-white claws on the shady stadium.

Message from my good friend An An: I can't live this life any longer. Please come and give me an evaluation.

When she arrived at the restaurant, Ann said that her husband didn't give her salary this month. When I went, she was chewing a roast pig's trotters and telling me the story that "stingy boyfriend didn't buy a gift for his mother-in-law".

Ann and her husband met on a blind date. When we first met, we talked about age, work and family environment. The man was very energetic. When she came back to chat with us, she shook her head and talked about the man's work and family, especially those eyes that are said to resemble Tony Leung Chiu Wai.

Later, I went on a date, met my parents, and got engaged in one go.

Everything is sweet, but with the deepening of the relationship, Ann found some shortcomings of each other:

"I bought a pair of shoes for my sister's birthday in a few days. He said that 400 yuan is a waste. "

"The first time I went to my mother's house, I actually took two boxes of delicious food. Fortunately, I reminded him to buy two bottles of Wuliangye. "

"Today, I had a few quarrels with the hotel waiter. Spicy incense pot for ordering. After the waiter said that this might not be enough for two people, he quarreled with others. Later, I asked for two bowls of rice to eat, deliberately eating less vegetables. "

Ann's frequent displays of love turned into complaints. After falling in love, Ann seldom gets together with her friends, let alone brings her boyfriend and friends, and even the time spent with her parents unconsciously becomes less.

Saving money is not necessarily bad, so is reducing communication. But the changes in An 'an are not just these. When two people get along, the biggest influence is those invisible things. Because of the particularity of his identity, the object of love will repeatedly influence you with his life values, especially constantly denying your views and behaviors, making people doubt their self-worth. In addition to the deviation of values, some people will become unconfident, lack independent opinions, subconsciously seek the other party to change themselves, identify with themselves psychologically, and the love relationship will become a spiritual subordinate relationship.

A good relationship is a process of learning from each other, while a bad relationship, like bad money driving out good money, will make people gradually break away from healthy values.

Ann reminds me of my best friend Xixi.

Xixi is different from An 'an. She is the kind of girl whose life is full of rich colors, occasionally mixed with some overexertion.

Xixi met Adong in college. After a long time, he didn't confess and didn't have a gift. With a bright future, xixi followed Adong 1000 kilometers and came to Xi 'an.

This sentence makes sense. At a certain time, such as Xixi and Adong, they have known each other for less than a year. Xixi's fingers seem surprisingly dexterous. /kloc-after more than 0/000 kilometers, I can still see the joy of loving each other in the words she sent. Every line is full of overflow.

A year later, I got a call from Xixi, saying that she was going to divorce.

Cause and effect are simple. Xixi's mother was married from Yunnan. Because of economic stress, young children and other factors, she has not been back to her family for nearly 30 years. Whenever Xixi is alone with her mother, her mother will talk about catching fish by the river when she was a child. When grandma still keeps a few big black pigs at home, Xixi will meditate in her heart and take her mother back to her hometown in the future.

At that time, the two men had just worked for half a year and lived in a village in the city. They saved more than half of their monthly salary. When Xixi proposed to accompany his mother to Yunnan, Adong hesitated and agreed. Xixi paid her mother's round-trip air ticket to take care of each other's emotions, and her sister and sister accompanied her, but she didn't go.

The reason for divorce is simple. Xixi left a knot in buying a plane ticket for her mother. Every time we quarrel, Adong will take it out and quarrel again. Adong took the initiative to mention the salary he had to give to Xixi before, and he no longer planned to give it to Xixi. Yes, adon, regardless of whether Xixi discussed with him at that time or whether Xixi spent money by himself, the daily expenses were basically from Xixi. Anyway, you spent so much money at your mother's house, you are wrong.

Many friends will ask me, Shimei, my boyfriend told me to have a snack and not to spend money on my family. We will buy a house and a car in the future. Some are even simpler. You have brothers and sisters anyway. If you don't spend money, they will. If you pay too much, you may run to your brothers and sisters. What should I do?

When I meet such a friend, I will tell her bluntly. Whether you have brothers or sisters, isn't it your duty to support your parents? What age are you still doing the story of your daughter splashing water? A person doesn't even respect your parents. Do you want him to respect and love you? Is your family in the same situation as Fan Meisheng?

When it comes to spending money on parents' homes, many girls always like to give a powerful interview as an inspirational endorsement. Yang Mi participated in the Golden Star Show hosted by Venus, and was interviewed by Venus: If you want to buy a house for your parents, will you consult with Hawick Lau? Her domineering response: no, because I can afford it. Applause thundered on stage and off stage. Many girls are envious, envious of the independence brought by Yang Mi's wealth and money, and even more envious of Yang Mi's heroism.

It is certainly a good thing that the economic foundation determines the superstructure and women are economically independent. Then someone asked, sister, am I not earning enough money, or can't spend money for my family without the other half? The answer is no, because how much money you earn is never the only criterion to measure a person's right to speak in the family. In a family, we discuss things with each other because of trust, because of respect, because marriage is not only about love, but also about contract. Marriage itself contains benefits and risks. Whether you can spend money on your mother's family seems to be a problem for children and the elderly, but it is essentially a problem of husband-wife relationship. The test is not only the communication and coordination ability and emotional foundation of both parties, but also the sense of responsibility of the other party. Because most relationships are in the primary stage, both sides can fully understand each other's family situation by getting along. If they find it unacceptable, they can explain the situation and get together well.

In fact, there are several situations in which girls spend money at home, which can be analyzed according to the family situation:

First of all, the proportion of families is relatively high, families are harmonious, and the economy is well-off or average. Families of this background do not have great financial needs for their children. On the contrary, their children get more financial help from family of origin.

Secondly, it also accounts for a certain proportion, which is a family with relatively tight economy caused by various reasons, such as families with low parents' income, sick parents and young children. For this kind of family environment, whether parents have financial requirements or not, it is understandable that girls bear some financial responsibilities for the family.

Finally, like Fan in Ode to Joy, her parents are almost exploited. Appropriate assistance, focusing on "education", parents do not certify, and good parent-child relationship should also be a process of teaching and learning. In this case, you should be tough and teach your parents a lesson with your own actions, so that they know that you love them, but it is not too much. Don't be tied to your happy wings by your parents' greed.

I hope that whether in love or marriage, two people can be honest with each other, support each other, face the ups and downs in life, and face ordinary trivial matters.

end

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