What should I do if my boyfriend doesn't like to go shopping with you (my husband refuses to go shopping with you)

In the article the day before yesterday, we talked about the problem of "knife mouth" Low emotional intelligence and inability to speak well have become obstacles for many people on their way to happiness.

Many people came to us and complained with tears:

I have paid a lot, why can't he see my goodness?

Why does he lie on the sofa playing with his mobile phone when I do all the housework?

I can't touch my husband at all! Is there any way?

For these eternal problems, we have a trick: master the emotional value, so that men can follow you.

Before talking about this question, let's answer a question:

If you want your husband who is playing games to go shopping with you, what would you say to him?

You've been playing games all day, now it's time to go shopping with me! Honey, you have a good eye. Why don't you go shopping with me and help me choose a skirt? How about these two answers? I believe that if you are the man playing games and hear the second statement, you are willing and willing to go shopping with women.

Smart women don't directly command each other when expressing their needs. But by praising men, satisfy their desire for recognition and make them willing to pay for you!

This is what we call "mastering emotional value".

What is emotional value? Emotional value refers to one person's ability to influence another person, which is inseparable from high emotional intelligence.

If others feel tired with you, it belongs to you and provides negative emotional value to others; If others are happy with you, you provide others with positive emotional value, which belongs to you. You can test your emotional value: Do you often praise others? Do you often find the advantages and kindness of others? When you are alone, is your life leisurely? If yes, then your emotional value is higher, and vice versa.

Emotional value is a very important high value in intimate relationship, and its importance can be compared with survival value and reproductive value! Women who are good at providing emotional value are very attractive and make it difficult for men to give up. It is an advanced skill that is difficult to cultivate at home.

I can say that if a woman is very good at providing emotional value, she can still attract high-quality members of the opposite sex and win their favor even if she is average in appearance, with normal work education and family background.

Here's a more everyday example: on a hot summer day, dating your boyfriend, the sun is shining on you, but he hasn't arrived yet. What would you do?

I think, most girls will be furious, and I can't wait to scold them:

Do you want to burn me? Can't you go out early? Do you still care about me?

What will happen?

Without the expectation and excitement before dating, two people will be depressed, the dating atmosphere will be completely destroyed, and boys may not have a good memory. His mind will only look terrible when you are angry.

What will a woman with high emotional intelligence do? First of all, when she is going to be late, she will "strike first" and call the man:

Honey, where have you been? It doesn't matter, pay attention to safety, I'm waiting for you by the roadside now!

Even the "mending knife" said:

The sun is shining. You must be thirsty, too I bought you something delicious. I'll wait for you by the roadside!

At this time, the boy will think like this: He will blame himself, why he didn't go out early, why he kept you waiting on the side of the road on a hot day, and you are still so considerate. ...

As long as he has you in his heart, he will feel guilty. He can't wait to fly to your side at once!

After meeting, women who know how to provide emotional value will also "strengthen the effect" and say:

Oh, do you think I'm too prepared? A lot of people are watching me. Someone started chatting and whistling just now, which scared the baby to death. I just want you to come back to me as soon as possible

Having said that, will men dare to be late in the future?

A few easy words will arouse a man's guilt and make him realize that being late is wrong, and his girlfriend will be at risk of being taken away by others. In this way, the purpose is not achieved?

And in this way, a one-time transfer can also warm up the relationship.

When we give our partners positive emotions, the more positive emotions they give us. Therefore, if we can provide each other with good emotional value in intimate relationship, the ultimate beneficiary is actually ourselves!

Grasping the emotional value is actually very simple and can be divided into three steps:

Manage your emotions well (the basic creed of emotional value-keep your emotions stable, negative examples refer to Qiu Yingying in Ode to Joy, and positive examples refer to Zhen Xuan in The Queen of the Palace).

Be able to identify each other's emotions (be interested, men don't like to talk, like women are good at expressing, and learn to identify)

Can mobilize each other's emotions (positive energy, good at encouraging, transmitting happiness, getting along well)

The above three points, to be honest, can be written in every step, which seems simple and difficult to operate.

How to improve the emotional intelligence of love? First, talk well. Here are some daily examples for everyone to experience.

Compliment each other

You're a good singer! God, you are the most beautiful singer I have ever seen. I thought I was playing the original song to express my needs.

Why do I have to do these chores? Come and help! Honey, it's too high here. I can't reach it. Can you clean it? You are tall, you must clean more! 3 express dissatisfaction.

You know I don't eat spicy food. Do you want to kill me? It seems a little spicy ~ but I like everything you do. I'll eat with you, and I'm afraid of getting acne! Last time I heard a doctor friend say anything, I could emphasize it (bad smile), but I couldn't emphasize the food ~ Let's feel the difference between these two expressions.

Don't underestimate the matter of speaking, it is not only reflected in intimate relationships. "Speaking" runs through every bit of our life. Parent-child relationship, mother-in-law relationship, superior-subordinate relationship, colleague relationship, friend relationship ... Dealing with the relationship between good people is inseparable from good talk.

What is the premise of the agreement? Do you remember? A stable mood.

Second, it's a bit difficult to identify each other's emotions and intentions, which requires some skills. Let me ask you a question first:

When your boyfriend says to you: I spent a little more money this month.

What would you say?

A girl with average emotional intelligence should completely ignore it, or get to the bottom of it, or directly say who made you spend so much money? There are also some people who think that men are unwilling to spend money on themselves and then get angry.

If they are women with high emotional intelligence, they will first identify why the other party said this sentence, and then think about how to reply.

Generally speaking, men love face and seldom cry in front of women. Therefore, men may say this because they spend too much money and their wallets are tight, and subconsciously want women to understand themselves and spend less.

Therefore, most girls with high emotional intelligence reply like this:

Honey, it's not easy to make money ~ hug, you have to plan your own money in the future.

Third, mobilize each other's emotions. A male classmate once told me that his girlfriend is simply a grinding goblin. Every time he has a big fight with his girlfriend, she always plays tricks on him and gives him a chance. When he finally explains the misunderstanding clearly, he will impulsively contact him when hugging his girlfriend.

He said that that moment was not only a physical impulse, but also an emotional catharsis of "the rest of my life after the robbery".

I feel like I almost lost her just now, and now I can prove that I can still have her.

This is a typical example of changing from negative emotions (anger and sadness) to positive emotions (cherish and rely on), thus making the feelings of two people deeper and closer.

Women who are really good at providing emotional value can make good use of men's "emotions" and warm up their relationship with the help of current emotions.

Ok, that's all for today's sharing. I think you have understood that there is no natural "perfect boyfriend" and "perfect husband", and those "good men from other people's families" you admire are all matched by other women step by step!

So, don't be lazy about love and marriage, take action!