Girlfriend is depressed, are you kidding?

1 at the moment of a cup of coffee, in the diffuse fragrance, I quietly thought that the feeling of self-confidence slowly emerged and the warmth overflowed this still deserted season. In the lonely atmosphere, no longer sigh, let the waiting journey sway and colorful, vividly in my dream. In this ambiguity, people are more curious about the flowers on the other side and have imagined the appearance of the flowers on the other side for a long time.

A woman is taking a shit in the public toilet, and her husband is waiting outside. If she misses her husband Doby, she will send him a message: Husband, what should I do if I drop my mobile phone in the toilet? Husband replied faintly: Is shit sending me a message? Theo, get on your knees!

3. One or two college students, whose English is not good, have a legal English exam. The left column of Chinese requires translation into English, and the right column of English requires translation into Chinese. After the exam, the teacher preached for so many years, and I haven't seen anyone who scored 8 on the key exam. Then the first problem is translation, not connection, not connection.

In class, the monitor is sleepy below. His deskmate whispered "class dismissed" in his ear. The goods suddenly stood up and shouted, "Stand up!" As a result, four students in the last row stood up and shouted, "Goodbye, teacher! "

A female teacher who graduated from Fan Gang drew an apple on the blackboard. The teacher asked the students, "Children, who knows what is painted on the blackboard?" The children scrambled to answer, "It's a donkey!" " The teacher was so angry that his face was full of tears that he went to the headmaster to judge. The headmaster reprimanded the students: "You are really not sensible. The teacher is so good, you still make her cry. " The headmaster looked at the blackboard and said, "Who is it? And drew an ass on the blackboard? ! "

The shopkeeper was picked up by robbers in the middle of the night! Holding a sharp knife, the robber viciously threatened, "Give me all the money!" " The little boss said with grievance: "There is really no way. Last night, your colleague came and took all the money. " The robber roared angrily, "why don't you lock the door!" " "Owner:" ... "

One day, Xiaoming took tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries to the streets. At the crossroads, tomatoes were run over by a car. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Ketchup! " At another intersection, the watermelon was hit. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Watermelon juice! " At the third intersection, Xiao Ming was run over by a car. Strawberry said, "Ha ha ha! Scum! "

I have a nosebleed today and complain in QQ space. As a result, I immediately opened three comments. The first one asked, "Did you drink too much turtle soup?" Article 2' Have you seen too many naked men?' The hardest thing is the third one,' Oh, my God, what happened to your nose? ! ...... theater missile defense

I heard it when I passed a cosmetics store-Q: Miss, which brand of cosmetics and skin care products do you usually use? No, I just use Mito Xiu Xiu ... You're amazing.

Menstruation's personality is very masculine, and my uncle, as the only boy, is used to being a girl at home. Once my aunt did a very fierce thing, and I lamented that my aunt was really a man. When grandpa heard this, he simply said that your grandmother left the little JJ in her stomach when she gave birth to your aunt, and she stretched it out when she gave birth to your uncle. . .

10 class reunion, full of emotion. A girl cried, "I'm 24 this year. I am not ugly, and I have a good personality. Why don't I have a boyfriend and no one is chasing me? " There was no comfort in the silence. At this time, the first and second goods floated leisurely: "That's because you still can't know yourself correctly."

1 1 queue up for hot water at school. There is a weak sister paper in front, and finally it's her turn. The lid of her thermos won't unscrew. She turned to the boy behind her and smiled softly. "I can't unscrew this lid." Just listen to the man's careless sentence: "Then you stand on the side and twist first, and we'll fight first ..." Then he pulled the thin boy behind him, "Fight quickly, and I'll help you carry it up later."

12 has been chasing a girl for many years. That day, she sent me a message on QQ: If you don't leave me. -I will stay with you until the end of my life. I don't understand. I asked a friend who passed Grade 6 to translate it. He said: If you don't leave me, I will die with you. So my heart broke and I never contacted that girl again. Later, after passing Band 6, I realized that it was "If you don't leave, I will live and die together"!

13 I noticed that 10086 is a boyfriend, and I once received a text message reminding me of the balance. A friend leaned over and was surprised to see that the sender was a "boyfriend" and said, "Are you in love?" I said, "Why, I can't." "What does a boyfriend do?" "Telecom, very rich." "Good for you?" "Well, every time I send him a text message, I will reply in seconds." Looking at her indescribable envy and jealousy, I smiled proudly!

14 once I was thirsty, I went to buy drinks. I happened to meet a female classmate. I thought I would buy it for her because I met her. I took two cans of coke and handed her one. The female classmate said gorgeously: I don't drink it, it kills sperm … my hands are frozen in the air like this … it kills sperm! Sister, killing people can't kill you.