Dink eight years, facing the guidance around him, got her husband brought back a 1-year-old illegitimate child, what should I do?

1

The concept of "Dink" has been read in China for more than 3 years. There are many articles about Dink, from why Dink was chosen in marriage to what influence Dink has brought to our lives, and there are even many personal statements to show us the advantages and disadvantages of being a Dink.

Among them, three articles impressed me deeply:

One is a "technical post", which gives a way to judge whether the other person is a "real dink". The advice given in this article is to test the attitude of the other person when the man is asked to have a ligation operation. Indeed, men and women are not equal in the matter of marriage and childbirth. If two people negotiate to be a dink when they are young, and the man goes back on his word when he is old, he can still have children, while the woman can only leave a lifetime of regrets.

The second article is about the real experience of an old man who was coaxed by his relatives and friends because he had no children to take care of him. After selling millions of properties, he was sent to the countryside to "die". Many couples who choose Dink don't want to be the last person to leave this world. Loneliness is one of them, and the sense of compassion that they can't control their own destiny is the source of their inner fear.

It's human nature to be born and die. When you can't make your own decisions and dominate yourself when you are attacked by illness, if there is no one around you who is willing to think of you, life will be really hard.

The third article about Dink is directed at people's hearts. Some people choose Dink because they think that children are a burden, and they can't support their children for their old age. This "business" at a loss can't be done by themselves. So this aunt who has this idea is not afraid of the angry gaze of the other party every time, and still criticizes the unfilial children in other people's families and the unworthiness of parenting.

If the aunt finds out which old man and his children are in conflict, she will be resurrected with blood immediately, and tell how Dink's choice is correct, but the other person's hard work in raising children is not rewarded, and how stupid it is.

Ms. Wu is not without these thoughts, but she chose to be a dink for eight years under the cleansing of her husband's thoughts, but now she really regrets it.

2

What exists between parents and children is selfless love. If this love is mixed with mutual use, what feelings are there to trust?

at the age of 33, Ms. Wu talked about a boyfriend, but they shared the same interests and talked about everything. After getting along for one year, when Ms. Wu was 34, they formed a family.

On the eve of the wedding, Ms. Wu's boyfriend confessed to her that she was a standard dink, and he could agree to all the conditions of Ms. Wu's marriage, but only if she could not have children.

At first, Ms. Wu was very painful to know this news. After all, most women would look forward to their motherhood, and it really took a struggle to make women give up their reproductive rights.

Ms. Wu's parents also said that they couldn't accept it. They urged their daughter to get married as soon as possible at the age of 34, just because they wanted their daughter to complete the birth before the age of 35. After all, it is very dangerous to be an elderly woman.

Wu Mu said, "When you were young, Dink was spoiled by a man. If he changes his mind, he can always leave you and have a baby with a young woman. If you want to survive, you may not be born. Even if you can be born, the cost will be much greater than him, and even life will be threatened.":

"A childless marriage is unstable and will fall apart sooner or later. To be practical, if you have no children in your later years, who will provide for your old age? Who inherits the property that has been saved by hard work? "

But in the end, Ms. Wu chose this marriage for love. Gradually, with the two people enjoying their lives to the fullest, Ms. Wu looked at her peers working hard for their children and was exhausted; However, I can sleep until I wake up naturally, go shopping until my legs cramp, and feel that it is also a good choice to be a dink myself.

At least the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been reduced, and there is no need to deal with shit and fart every day, and there is no need to feel the trouble of hair loss, and there is no need to help with homework and become a bitch ...

Everything has advantages and disadvantages. When Ms. Wu enjoys these comfortably, she has to bear the finger pointing and criticism of others.

None of the relatives and friends at home is Dink, and they don't understand her behavior. They just think that Ms. Wu is too old to have children, so they often advise her to take good care of herself and both husband and wife go to the hospital for a check-up.

Colleagues in the company, some neighbors who have nothing to do will also talk about her, sometimes look at her with sympathy, and even deliberately avoid talking to her about children.

in the face of these, Ms. Wu is at home, but she is not good at explaining them one by one when others have not mentioned them, so she can only strengthen her heart and turn a deaf ear.

3

Driven by curiosity, Ms. Wu asked her husband more than once why she didn't want to have children. At first, her husband just prevaricated, but later, her husband replied:

These people who have children are just afraid of their No Country for Old Men, and they don't really love their children, just looking for someone to support them. We don't have to put this trust in an unknown situation, and believe that each other is the best future.

Ms. Wu, who accepted this idea, finally broke out under a colleague's concern (gossip): "Aren't you giving birth to children to support your old age?" I am not as selfish as you. "

However, under the domination of this thought of "greatness", Ms. Wu persisted for eight years and finally regretted it when her husband brought back a ten-year-old boy.

This is the child of Ms. Wu's husband and his ex-girlfriend. Because of the parents' opposition, the two people who fell in love broke up. At first, Ms. Wu's husband didn't know the existence of this child, but half a month before their wedding, the ex-girlfriend came over and told Ms. Wu's husband about the child.

Ms. Wu's husband wants to break up her marriage with Ms. Wu and marry her predecessor, but her predecessor already has a home. Now, her husband's predecessor is divorced and unable to raise the children alone, so she gives them back to her father.

Ms. Wu's husband gave him two choices: first, they still love each other, but they should raise the child; Second, two people break up peacefully and seek a new life.

Ms. Wu feels that her eight-year violation of her inner insistence is a joke. Now she doesn't know what to do about her husband's deception.

4

What psychological preparations should be made to be a female friend of Dink?

first, whether to be a dink or not depends on your own heart, not others' lobbying; Second, women who miss childbearing age because they choose Dink should have the consciousness that men may abandon you at any time to have children; Thirdly, if you choose to be a dink, it is very important whether the feelings of two people are strong in marriage, and you should be psychologically prepared to accept the dissolution of marriage; Fourth, people who are dinks should have a strong heart, not afraid of gossip, and ignore the pointing fingers of others; Fifth, can two childless people really support each other for life? Sufficient fund accumulation and a complete pension plan must be planned in advance. Life is fair, any choice has two sides, remember, your choice should follow your heart and be worthy of the rest of your life.