Who can tell a joke that makes me laugh?

1. Let's go fishing for bottles today. Someone asked me, what if someone spilled oil all over you and told you there was a secret? Without thinking, I replied: Go to him with a kitchen knife and tell him that when I chop you to death, the doctor will come to save you ... 2. On the bus home, I sat next to a boy of 17 years old, playing with my iPhone and swishing. As the difficulty increased, I suddenly couldn't find it. Seeing that time is running out, the landlord is anxious. I saw this product hold down the power off button and the HOME button at the same time, and then immediately suspended the game, so I went to the photo album to see the screenshot. Twenty seconds later, I switched back to the game and continued the game. How talented. 3. A boy flew to the bathroom, pushed open the door and suddenly found a girl inside. She said angrily, why didn't you knock when you came in? The boy quit abruptly, then knocked at the door and asked, "May I come in? Inside shouted: get out! ! ! ..... The boy thought: I don't trust women any more ... 4. A kindergarten teacher was in class, watching it snowing and not raining outside the door, and suddenly said with emotion: If it snows and doesn't rain, it will turn into rain when it goes underground. How troublesome, why didn't it rain at the beginning? " Hearing this, Xiao Ming said, "Teachers don't eat shit. When they eat, they turn into shit. How troublesome it is to turn into shit. Why didn't they eat shit at first? " The teacher fainted after listening to it ... 5. Tips for Life Drinking yogurt often breaks the straw and can't insert it? Here's a trick: calmly take out the straw, and it's best to play with it in your hand for a while. Don't look at yogurt with your eyes, pretend as if nothing has happened, and then poke it while it is not paying attention! 5. A man needs 6.5438+10,000 yuan to buy a car, but the man only brought 99.998 yuan, just short of 2 yuan money! Suddenly, he found a beggar at the door and said to him, "Please, give me 2 yuan money, I want to buy a car!" " After listening, the beggar generously took out 4 yuan money and handed it to the man, saying, "You can buy one for me, too." 6. Devil: Call your throat ... No one will save you ... Princess: Break your throat ... Break your throat ... No one: Princess ... I will save you ... Devil: Speak of the devil ... Cao Cao: Devil ... Why did you call me ... Devil: Wow ... I saw a ghost ... Ghost:. Find ... Ghost: You can see me ... Devil: Oh, my God! God: Who called me? Who: Nobody called you ... Nobody: Where am I? Play dumb. Fool: Who is impersonating me? Who: Me again? Are you looking for trouble? Trouble: who wants to see me? Which one: looking for you? I didn't ... Gee, there are so many people here. Many people: I just arrived ... who are you? Which one: I'm not who. Who: He's not me. Princess: Is everyone here to save me? Everyone: I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun. Lively: What do I have to see? God: It's none of my business. Let's go first. Devil: You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? How can I play this demon king? Go on: if you don't do it, what shall I do? Princess: If no one plays the devil, I can go to ................................................................................