Complete collection of funny and insulting text messages

1. Laugh when you go out and smile when good things come. Laugh when you see people and love them. Laugh when you ride in the car without buying a ticket. Laugh when you go to work for a salary increase. Laugh when you sleep and make a fortune. Please smile on April Fool's Day. Congratulations, you have a brand new one. A fool is born.

2. I am not superstitious, but I firmly believe that everything is inappropriate on April Fool’s Day. The sound of wind and rain, the sound of reading, are the sounds real? Family affairs, state affairs, and world affairs must be verified! April Fool's Day is coming, I wish you success in making fools and not being fooled.

3. To test your Mandarin, please read the following poem aloud: dark stone green, dark carnation, dark stone through spring green, dark stone through spring bamboo.

4. Report: Your sleeping posture is incorrect at this time. For your health, please get up and go back to sleep...Mobile phone real-time monitoring system.

5. You are a talented person with limited knowledge. You are idle and idle, but your career is in the upper reaches. You have no money in your bag, your checks are in bundles, you don’t exercise your body, and you kick a cow to death. Happiness doesn't last long, it just lasts forever. Wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

6. There is a kind of tacit understanding called tacit understanding, there is a kind of feeling called unspeakable, there is a kind of yearning called longing, and there is a kind of idiot who will read all the text messages!

7. The so-called "idiot" is a person who doesn't know the things you are familiar with, and you know nothing about the things he knows. Do you know this sentence?

8. Keep warm when it’s cold and ventilate when it’s hot. I applaud your professionalism. Long time no see, are you thinking of me? Do you still remember my advice? That is, when my friends come, you must tuck your tail. Happy holidays!

9. I understand that every text message I send you will be unforgettable for you! I understand that every word I write to you makes you sleepless and forgetful of food! But I want to know, when will I pay for the meal I owe you?

10. Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn't want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

11. It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival. May the acne on your face become less and less like an unfinished building; may your youth pass as slowly as the speed of a car in your early years; may your future As brilliant as a comet hitting the earth!

12. To encourage others is absurd, to cover one's ears and steal the bell is foolhardy; to borrow arrows from a straw boat is a clever plan, to burn a boat is a decisive battle; to have romance is to be romantic, to sacrifice one's life for righteousness is dedication; if you continue reading, you are a fool!

13. Pay attention, look to your left first, then to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

14. April Fool’s Day, April Fool’s Day, the person who is fooled the most is the person with the most friends, the person who fools the most is the smartest and mischievous person, the person who is not fooled is the most respected person, The most loving people are those who don't want to fool others. No matter what kind of person you are, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

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15. Every time the wind and rain are miserable, I am the one who cares about you. When there is famine, I will bring you food. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite successful. Feeling!

16. April Fool’s Day will be here in a few days, so here’s a reminder to be careful! Don't worry, I won't play tricks on you. How could I embarrass you, such a cute little pig!

17. This is the last text message that my mobile phone can send. In the end, I leave this most precious message to you, because there is something I always wanted to say to you, but never said it out loud - Help me recharge!

18. Strange, strange, really strange. Seven turtles are dancing on the disco, six lions are playing chess, five monkeys are eating pears, four donkeys are chasing Shu Qi, three mice are filming Level 3, and two crabs Doing Tai Chi, a little pig reads the message! Happy April Fool's Day!

19. My text messages are overwhelming, talking nonsense about (here) there is no silver, three hundred and two days on the Internet, fishing for three days, and the water conditions are profound and simple, turning war into jade and silk. You just smile! After racking my brains so much, I just want to wish you a happy April Fool’s Day!

20. Sample! Drink Langjiu and walk like a dog, sing folk songs and walk on the water; comb your lovelorn hair and walk with passionate steps; have a pair of ragged eyes and look for the rain and dew of love everywhere. You are so cool! Happy April Fool's Day!

21. You are awesome, and troubles no longer exist with you; you are crazy, and sorrow no longer acts like a hooligan; you are cool, and bad luck ignores you; you are handsome, and happiness treats you as a favorite; You are very bad, and you show off even during a holiday.

Happy April Fool's Day!

22. Work is boring, making money is hard, and ideals are lofty. When we have money, we can drink soy milk and eat fried dough sticks. If we want to dip our hands in white sugar, buy two bowls of soy milk, drink one bowl, and pour another bowl. !

23. When you see this text message I sent you, please bang your head against the wall. Do you see it? The countless stars in front of your eyes are the infinite blessings I send to you!

24. The father of your child, I am sending you a text message telling you to take good care of your health. I also want to have a ninth baby with you!

25. Put the wishing bottle into the river and let it drift in the wind. As a result, it floats into your hand. Open it gently, and my wish will really come true, because the note It says: May the pig be happy after receiving it. Haha, happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

26. On this special day, I wanted to call you, but I was worried that you would misunderstand me; I wanted to blow you a kiss, but I was worried that you wouldn’t believe me. After thinking about it, I had to quietly send a text message to say hello, have you been fooled today?

27. Tips for self-testing vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe whether the people around you smell any peculiar smell. If so, you must strengthen your training according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman! Happy April Fools' Day!

28. April Fool's Day is here. When you see acquaintances, you want to avoid them, when you see beautiful women, you see them?, when you see your boss being polite, when you see friends protecting themselves, when you see family members forcing smiles, when you see text messages... the fox tail finally comes. It's exposed. If I catch you, don't even think about running away!

29. Dear user, in order to keep you awake and not deceived on April Fool's Day, April 1st, we provide you with a quick guide to wisdom, as long as you read "I am Two Hundred and Five" ten times in a row. learn. Happy April Fool's Day!

30. The little turtle was looking in the mirror, and suddenly found that the mirror was full of words, and then he remembered: Oh! Turns out I mistakenly used my phone as a mirror!

31. A drop of water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert; a red-crowned crane is small among the cranes, but great among the chickens; you are small among the crowd, but great in the pigsty! Happy April Fools' Day colleagues!

32. Give you a basket of fruits: There are gourds like your body, watermelons like your face, strawberries like your nose, lychees like your youth beans, pistachios like your eyes, and Like the durian that your body smells like!

33. This text message is specially made for April Fool's Day. Smart people will become silly and cute when they receive it, and fools will become as wise as fools. No matter whether you succeed in getting rid of fools or not, you will receive a piece of luck. May you be "foolish" and "foolishly" happy!

34. You used to be gorgeously dressed and always dreamed of a banquet between Manchu and Han Dynasties. So I wanted to pick you up in the summer, but you said it was too hot. I want to pick you up in winter, but you say it’s too cold. I want to have sex with you in spring and autumn, but you still want to have sex with me when you say it’s neither cold nor hot. I was puzzled, aren't you just a pack of instant noodles? Why do you only have so many things!

35. During a major earthquake in a certain country, seawater poured in, bridges were destroyed, buildings collapsed, lives were devastated, and the world was sad! There was a "fisherman" who survived because he was driving a boat when he escaped. He was covering his mouth and snickering while reading the text messages!

36. Teacher: Now in the first aid class, someone is injured, what should be the first step? Xiaoxin: I know, ask him if he wants to donate organs?

37. You are so handsome and cool that it is beyond comparison. You hold the pot lid on your head and carry cabbage in your hands. You always think that you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second generation fool!

38. I pray to the Buddha every day for a rose that will bloom for a long time. When there are nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, I will give them to you and say emotionally: You little boy, I don’t believe that the bees you attract are not beautiful. Sting you!

39. Don’t think that building a city means settling; don’t think that sowing seeds means harvesting; don’t think that reaching the top means conquering; don’t think that I have forgotten you. At critical moments, such as today, in this special On these days, the first thing I think of is you.

40. A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you won’t be able to see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? !

41. The animal world is so wonderful, with lions roaring and hundreds of birds chirping. Zebras and antelopes are grazing, and bears and elephants are fooling around. The hare bullied the little tortoise and always wanted to race with it.

Only the bastard was quiet, turning on his mobile phone to watch the fun! Happy April Fool's Day!

42. After "In-depth Observation", I found that I fell in love with you! How I want to travel through "Eastern Time and Space", "face to face" with you, ask for "Today's Statement", and "tell the truth" to confess: I love you, cctv!

43. I accidentally broke the door of my refrigerator, so the air conditioner came out. The weather is getting colder and colder. It is estimated that I will not be able to repair the refrigerator until spring next year, so you must do it during this period. Wear more clothes and stay warm!

44. With this product, you don’t need to take medicine or be hospitalized. Your eyes will immediately become bigger and you will see things more clearly. The price is very low. Can you guess what product it is? Haha, magnifying glass! Happy April Fool's Day!

45. I feel that after knowing you for so long, you are special, extremely, very, rare, and uniquely stupid, and you are so cute that you are cute. Hehe, don’t be angry!

46. I once had a sincere love, but I didn’t cherish it. I only regretted it when I lost it! If I could do it again, I would say to you: I love you. If you want to choose the time to express your love, I hope it is:

47. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly. You look aloof and relaxed, but you are actually cute. Awesome, I really don’t know how you defeated the rabbit back then?

48. I fell in love with you when I first saw you. I secretly swear: You are the goal I pursue no matter what, I will pursue you without hesitation, and I embrace you with true love. I declare to the world: I love you - kiss "Golden Ingot"! Happy April Fool's Day!

49. Today I took out my mobile phone and sent a message to the straw bag. The straw bag grinned after reading it, knowing that it was a holiday. I will pay for this text message and treat me to a big meal. Call me as soon as possible. , don’t worry, we’ll be there immediately!

50. The highest state of life is to be confused but not confused, to be stupid but not stupid, to be foolish but not stupid. Be a fool, do stupid things, enjoy stupid blessings, be content and happy. Happy April Fool's Day!

51. What is in the woods is "timber", those who talk are "talents", those who are clever are "ghosts", what everyone thinks about is "money", and those who send text messages are "geniuses". On April Fool's Day The person who was looking at the text message with a smile was the "idiot".

52. The telephone soldier fell from the electric pole. When the squad leader asked why, he replied: "I tolerated one squirrel getting into my crotch, and I tolerated another one getting in, but when I heard them talking, I couldn't bear it." Unable to resist, they said, "Happy April Fool's Day!"

53. It is true gold, never afraid of the raging flames; it is green pine, never afraid of the long cold; it is Haiyan, never afraid of the lightning that cuts through the sky; it is a fool, still staring at the text message stupidly ! Happy April Fool's Day to you.

54. Hush, I have great news for you! I have hired Sun Wukong to be your assistant, White Dragon Horse to be your mount, Monk Sha to be your brother, Zhu Bajie to be your secretary, and Tang Monk to help you with your business. Are you satisfied? But none of this is true. Let me tell you the really good news: April 1st is the day to fool the whole person. You can be fooled, but the prerequisite is to be happy!

55. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. They came over and asked: "What happened?" The drunk man said: "I don't know, I just arrived." Fool Happy holiday!

56. April Fool’s Day is here. In order to thank you for being a good friend who seeks pleasure, is always contented, knows how to have fun, has nothing to do but has fun, and who was so happy after reading my text messages, I decided to A free message for you: Happy April Fool’s Day!

57. Are you worried about being tricked on April Fool’s Day? Then you should be more vigilant, look around before going out, look around when you see people, and be gentle when walking to prevent slipping. Let's go, don't forget to stay away when you see a woman, haha, happy April Fool's Day !

58. I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival: your bonus will be doubled, your career will be further developed, your popularity will be even more popular, your health will be better, everyone will love you, and there will be more beauties around you. .

59. This message lets you know: 1. Our feelings are the deepest! 2. Let you know that I have not forgotten you! 3. What I care about most is you! 4. Eat more and sleep more, raise a fat baby, and strive to sell it before the end of the year and sell it at a good price!

60. When walking around the world on April Fool's Day, you must have thirty-six strategies in mind to develop an indestructible body. When you encounter trickery, you must fight back. When you encounter an honest person, take the initiative.

When you encounter someone who is alone, don’t hesitate. If you encounter a cunning one, run away as soon as possible. Happy April Fool's Day!

61. April Fool’s Day is approaching, please stay vigilant. Not only can’t you believe all the text messages you receive, you have to understand them in reverse. There are many text messages praising you for being smart, but I have intercepted them. I will show them off after April Fool's Day!

62. Bro, bro, I’m married. I sent a text message today to inform you that I couldn’t notify you on the day of the wedding, but the gift money is essential. I will take the bride to the "Once a Year" bar, waiting for your big gift money. See you there or not. Address: No. 1 April Street, private room "Happy April Fools' Day".

63. A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you won’t be able to see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching?

64. Today is April Fool’s Day, so be careful not to be fooled by others! I heard that there is an epidemic of fool's disease recently. The symptoms are always looking at text messages on the phone and grinning the most. You should be careful!

65. I created this poem on a whim. How many people in the world know this poem? If I am not famous, I will be afraid of being strong. I will ignore it for the sake of fools. It is a matter of success or failure. Fools know. If you don’t believe it, you must be reading this poem.

66. I heard that you are so poor that all you have left is money. I sympathize with your pain. I'm very rich, except for money. I am willing to help you at all costs and exchange my wealth for your poverty. Give me all your money and let me suffer for you, Amen!

67. It was too late, but it was so fast. I just moved my thumb, and a text message flew to your phone at a speed ten thousand times faster than Xiao Li's flying knife, and appeared in front of you. You immediately Cloudy and sunny, smiles all over the face!

68. Missing Person Notice: The person is thinner than a yellow flower, skin and bones. The face is thicker than the city wall, and cannonballs cannot penetrate it. Born to love eating meat, his mouth smells like copper. My head is rusty and my clothes are a bit old. There will be prizes for providing clues and merit for surrendering. Happy April Fool's Day!

69. Text messages were sent out on April Fool’s Day, and there was constant laughter everywhere. There are clever tricks to write flowers, but you are deceived without knowing it. The fool rushes forward eagerly, but suddenly wakes up and realizes that he has been deceived. I wish you a happy April's Day and a colorful life. Happy April Fool's Day!

70. The Cowherd loves Liu Niang, and Liu Niang misses the Cowherd. The Cowherd falls in love with Liu Niang in the Year of the Ox, and Liu Niang misses the Cowherd every year. Sir, I miss you dearly! Colleague, if you don’t get distracted, my work will be in vain!

71. That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at me in front of many people. "It's strange that I'm not a pig"!

72. You always make people feel very sweet and give people a sweet feeling. Just please don’t be too sticky, which will make people annoying. For example, I don’t want you anymore—— I will definitely not eat bubble gum. It’s Mid-Autumn Festival, I want to eat moon cakes!

73. These days, there is simply no justice: students need to test their grades, workers need to test their performance, and leaders need to test their political performance. April Fool’s Day is coming soon, and they also need to test their brains, and their nerves are tense, allowing high IQ to take over. Highlands!

74. I have something to ask you. Can you find a vacant room for me to stay in for two days? Please don't tell anyone about this. Originally I didn't want to trouble you, but I really can't find anyone I trust. I'm ***! Happy April Fool's Day!

75. Five prohibitions in July: Don’t pretend to be busy at work and ignore me, don’t get rich and forget about me, don’t help me when I’m in trouble, don’t eat chocolate without calling me! Don’t miss me when you are free! Hope it will be implemented seriously!

76. This is a well-designed text message. Turn your phone upside down and you will see wonderful patterns... Is it fun to turn your phone upside down?

77. You stand in the crowd, your long hair blown by the gentle wind, like the most beautiful melody in the world, echoing in my heart for a long time. I want to say: Your wig is going to fall off... Today It's April Fool's Day.

78. There is something I don’t know whether to say or not, because it involves unspeakable privacy; there is something I don’t know whether I should contact you, but it is too important to you.

After a fierce ideological struggle, I finally plucked up the courage to say: Happy April Fool's Day!

79. I have always wanted to find a holiday to celebrate you, but there is no suitable holiday for you. You are overage on June 1st, and March 8th has passed. It’s fine now. Your holiday will finally be tomorrow. Come and wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

80. April Fool’s Day National Announcement: In order to further improve citizens’ awareness of defense against being deceived, frightened, and played during April Fool’s Day, and to reduce and avoid the resulting psychological and physical safety hazards, in This reminds you, don’t trust men, don’t trust women, you can only trust yourself, hereby announce!

81. From knowing you to this day, you should be very clear about your position in my heart. Apart from you, everyone else is just a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you are... …Two piles. Happy April Fool's Day!

82. Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... You can't guess it, but your face is filled with tears.

83. Brother Yu, in this great day when everyone in this country can be foolish, Brother Yu wishes you never change your foolish heart, be happy with yourself, fill the world with foolishness, and be more foolish. Happy, "foolish" plus happy... Oh, I'm going too far, happy April Fool's Day!

84. A river with spring water and a river with waves make a mountain higher than the other. Send a message to the idiot. The idiot must take out his phone. When he takes out his phone and looks down, he realizes that he is an idiot.

85. I used to be just an ordinary knight, until I met you, the most mysterious person in the world, and called your name out of nowhere. From then on, I became someone respected by everyone in the world. "Zhi Zhu Man"

86. If you are ugly, please call 110; if you are not in good shape, please call 120; if you have a bad temper, please call 119; if you think you are beautiful, please call my mobile phone , discuss in detail. Happy April Fool's Day!

87. Others say you are clumsy, but I believe that fools are blessed. Others say you are dull, but I believe that sometimes wishful thinking can come true. Others say you are stupid and ignorant, but I know that being wise and foolish is your magic weapon!

88. When you read this message, please do the following actions: pinch your right ear with your left hand, pinch your left ear with your right hand, stick out your tongue, and stand on the street. You will find that people will give you money!

89. Seal the innocence, bundle the liveliness, let freedom fly, package the intelligence, and make happiness hopeless. Just release a little bit of stupidity and ignorance and walk around the world. Happy April Fool's Day, dear friends!