Provide jokes and reward heavily

1. Fish said: "I open my eyes all the time so that I can never leave you." Water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and pick you up." "Guo said, "You're so stubborn now that you're almost done."

2. Once upon a time, there was a poor family. When his son got married, his mother had no money to buy him underwear, so she made him one out of a rice bag. Underpants. On the wedding night, he took off his pants and his wife fainted on the spot. The front of the underwear says: Net weight 25 kilograms, made in Thailand...

3. Several monkeys peeked at a man taking a shower. Suddenly a monkey laughed so much that he fell down from the tree and asked him why he was laughing? It said: Humans are so strange. Their tails are so short, yet they have the nerve to put them in front! It makes me laugh! !

4. The elephant laughed at the camel and said, "Why is your dick on your back?" "Huh!" The camel said, "I never talk to a person with a dick on his face!" The snake laughed loudly after hearing this, and the elephant said: "The face is on the chicken! Why are you laughing!?"

5. The chicken and the cow complained: "Humans ask us to lay more eggs. It’s so unfair to have a baby by myself.” Niu said, “Your grievances are nothing. There are so many people feeding on me, but no one calls me mom.”

6. One man enters. toilet. The neighbor suddenly said: How are you doing? To avoid being rude, I answered: It's okay. The neighbor said again: What are you busy with? This man: On a business trip. Next door: I'll hang up first. There's a lunatic here. He rushes to answer whenever someone speaks.

7. Love is like stool. Once flushed, it will never come back. Love is like shit, you can't stop it once it comes. Love is like poop, it’s the same but not the same every time. Love is like shit. Sometimes after trying for a long time, it’s just a fart.

8. The little bird flew out of the forest wearing a bulletproof vest, and came back with gunshot wounds after a while. When the squirrel saw it, he quickly asked: Why did he get hit even though he was wearing a bulletproof vest? The little bird said: Damn it, I will never do a striptease again!

9. Sleeping to death: sleeping with a beautiful woman will make you excited to death; sleeping with a lover will make you drunk and dreaming of death; sleeping with an ugly girl will make you tired to death; sleeping with a dancer will make you tired to death; sleeping with a fierce girl will make you tired to death; sleeping with a virgin will make you die. He is stupid as hell when sleeping; he sleeps with his wife all night and pretends to be dead.

10. I always want to know what it feels like to be loved... and end up hurting a lot of people!

11. I once looked up at the stars with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was because of a broken love, and I was because of a sprained neck.

12. He is just a basin of water, poured into your pile of rice. After a few years, the clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of discarded rotten rice. It is not useless. Yes, it can also be used to feed pigs.

13. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.

14. The panda man wants to have sex with the panda girl, but the panda girl resists vigorously and refuses to obey. After the failure, the panda man said angrily: "We are all going extinct!"

15. One day, the cow posed a problem to the donkey, asking which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was which. It's the mother's. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What a stupid ass, men are on the left and women are on the right!

16. The turtle was sick and asked the snail to buy medicine. Three hours passed and the snail had not come back. The turtle cursed: "I will die if you don't come back." At this time, there was a cry outside the door. Snail's voice: Why don't you scold me again!

17. Husband: What time is it? Wife: Is it right? Wife: It's too early, no one else is sleeping. Husband: Is it ten o'clock? Wife...

18. 10. There was a child sitting at a doorway playing, and a middle-aged man asked him: "Is your father at home?" The child replied: "At home", and the middle-aged man went to ring the doorbell. After ringing for a long time, no one opened the door.

So the man asked angrily: "Why don't you open the door?" The little boy replied: "I didn't know, this is not home!"

I don't want to make any more excuses. If there are two shortcomings and you are not qualified, then forget it. `Hehe`

The story took place in China a long time ago.

After playing the guessing game with scissors, rock and paper all afternoon, good friends returned home together. Home, walking...

Shitou noticed an oil lamp dropped on the side of the road, just like Aladdin's magic lamp.

He picked it up curiously and brushed it off of dust

Suddenly white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp

A... divine dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke.

But the divine dragon Dry and a little malnourished

He spoke: "Who let me out?" Weakly

Shitou said: It was me who let you out

Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...then I can give you a wish..."

Shitou: "Ah...only one, isn't there three?"

Shenlong: "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong...if you don't want to, just pull me down..."

Shitou: "Okay...then...can you defecate the three of us into adults? Let's pass I'm tired of playing guessing games every day."

Shenlong: "Oh... I'll give it a try... but maybe only one can succeed... because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong..."

Shenlong After coughing a few times, he spit on the three of them.

The three of them were gradually enveloped in white smoke, and the dragon also gradually disappeared in the Three-Character Sutra

Wait until the white smoke dissipates...

Stone is still stone, scissors are still scissors, only cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into a human!

When one family was happy and two were sad,

Someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene,

so he recorded it,

p>

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

The cloth was successful and became a human being.

This statement then spread to later generations and was also included in Chinese teaching materials.

An old man in the family passed away.

Because a public sacrifice was required, the body was frozen with ice.

He would be invited out when the public sacrifice was held.

It happened to be very hot at that time,

There were water droplets after thawing on the body,

When my grandson saw it, he was very nervous. Shouted:

"Grandma, grandma... Grandpa is sweating..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh... Grandpa died for the first time. , I’m so nervous!”

A man met God one day..

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that man a wish…

God asked …

Do you have any wishes...

The man thought for a while...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish comes true...

One day, the man was free. Boring...

I want to just die...

I have 9 lives anyway

Just lie on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train passed by...

The man was still dead...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 carriages...

A lady encountered a red light while driving halfway.

The traffic police watching her watched the red light change to green, and the green light to red...

She was still parked in the middle of the road, motionless.

So the traffic policeman walked over and asked the young lady: "What's wrong? Isn't there a color you like?"

I've been dating her for several years, right?

It seems like it's been... There are fewer phone calls

Feelings faded

Ask her why

She just lowers her head and says nothing...

I don’t know what to do

After all... feelings can’t be forced

I heard from a friend

She has been very close to a man recently

I can’t believe it

Nor do I want to believe it

Because…..I really like her…

But….. That day on the street

I actually saw her and another him

holding hands

talking and laughing very intimately

In an instant

My heart... was broken...

After my inquiries

I found out that he... was actually a medical student

There is also a big hospital at home

How can I, a third-rate university student, compare to that...

I haven’t been able to sleep these days

I still want to save the relationship between us...

I thought about it for a long time

and decided to give her an apple every day

Because

I firmly believe

"An apple a day keeps a doctor away."

One night...

Xiao Ming couldn't sleep and decided Go out for a walk...

He walked onto the highway near his home...

Unluckily, he ran into a police inspection...

Xiao Ming was arrested Called over for questioning.

The police asked Xiao Ming why he walked on the highway. After asking, he handed him a ticket...

It said

1. Not wearing a seat belt

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed does not exceed 60 kilometers per hour

This is what I answered to others. I will copy it to you. There are many, so you can filter it yourself. And I agree very much with what Oo Xiaodong said, this score is really not good~

A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after death. When it was Einstein’s turn to catch people, he counted 100 opened his eyes and saw that everyone was hiding, only Newton was still standing there. Einstein walked over and said: "Newton, I caught you." Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton." Einstein: "You are not Newton, who are you?" Newton: "Look at what I have under my feet. What?" Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile that was one meter long and wide. Newton: "This is a square meter of one square meter under my feet, and it is Newton/square meter when I stand on it, so what you grasp is not Newton, what you grasp is ***."

...... …… …… ……

Pascal

When the boy and the girl were in the ambiguous period, the girl received an offer from Duke University in the United States. At the airport boarding lane, the girl looked anxiously That figure that I miss so much. But when that familiar body really appeared in front of her, the girl didn't dare to look at the attachment in the other person's eyes.

"If you ask me to stay, I will give up studying abroad." The girl secretly made up her mind. The boy took out a beautifully wrapped gift box, and inside was a mechanical watch with its hands stopped. The boy put the watch gently on the girl's wrist, wound it up, let go, and the stopped hand started drawing circles again.

"Yes, everyone will have a new beginning, why bother to cling to this moment?" The girl thought, waved her hand, and quickly walked into the boarding channel, without any hesitation in her heart. Just the glimpse of the sobbing figure touched the heartstrings a little.

Sixty years later, the girl has dyed hair on her temples and is packing up her belongings in her home in Boston in preparation for moving. Outside, my American wife is coaxing her grandchildren to get into the car. Suddenly, the mechanical watch at the bottom of the box suddenly appeared in front of her, and her memory suddenly returned to the farewell scene at the airport 60 years ago. The "girl" was stunned for a while, sighed, wiped the surface, wound up the watch, and let go. , the stopped watch hand started to draw circles again...

My wife called out "girl" several times outside but did not hear the response from "girl". When I entered the house, I saw her holding an old-style watch with tears in her eyes. whirling.

What does ----------- mean. . . . That's what the boy wanted to express back then: the watch is gone. . .

It’s extremely cold! ! !

A man was on a business trip and suddenly came home and heard the sound of a man snoring at the door.

The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Get a divorce!!!"

Then he threw away his mobile phone card and walked away...

Three years later they met again in a city.

The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

The man told what happened at that time.

The wife turned and left,

said calmly: That is Ruixing’s little lion

My English teacher always likes to ask questions in class, and whenever he calls someone When answering a question, I always ask: can you? It means can you.

One day we learned the word born, which means giving birth. Then she gave an example: a sow can give birth to ten piglets at a time, and then asked a boy to translate. When the boy stood up, the teacher said no Forgot to ask: can you? The boy replied: i can't.

After ten seconds of silence, the class burst into laughter

One night, when I was on duty, someone called the police and said that someone A drunk man caused trouble in front of his store, so we took him to the police station and "restrained him until he sobered up." The man was still drunk and crazy when he arrived at the police station. He hit his head with his mobile phone. The leader was afraid that something would happen, so he put his mobile phone away and put it in the duty room for me to take care of.

This is a magical copycat phone. I took a quick look and found that it has 9 speakers! ! ! At this time, something shocking happened. Someone kept calling this mobile phone, and the ringtone was "Wolf falls in love with sheep". Oh my God, the phone calls are constantly ringing, and the ringtone of the mobile phone is at least 100 decibels, so loud that it can even cover up ordinary speech sounds. I picked up the call and the caller was also a drunk and couldn't communicate. I want to shut down my phone and need the shutdown password! ! ! I thought I'd wait until it ran out of power and shut it down. It's been ringing for more than 2 hours and it hasn't used up a single bar of power! ! !

I thought, okay, I'll pull out the battery. I was so smart that I was mistaken. I made the worst decision in my life! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! As soon as the battery was pulled out, the phone actually still had an alarm sound. Yes, it was the siren sound. It was louder than the sirens of our police cars. Where did the sound come from when the battery was gone? The sound didn't stop for more than ten minutes, so I had no choice but to put the battery back in, turn it on, and continue singing "Wolf falls in love with sheep".

At around 2 o'clock in the morning, the man finally woke up enough to communicate normally. I returned the phone to him with tears in my eyes and asked him to leave the police station quickly and let me live.

On the street one day. On foot.

A girl knelt on the ground and cried loudly. She cried until everyone gathered around and asked her what was wrong. . .

She said: Lost. . . . .

A young man is wearing a white T-shirt. The key point is that on this T-shirt, there are three stripes (Adidas) on the left and right sleeves, and a big check mark (Nike) on the back, which goes around to the front. , I was dizzy, there were two people back to back (kappa) on my chest. . . .

One time I was riding a bicycle home at about 10 o'clock in the evening

On the non-exciting lane

There was a man driving a battery car and wandering around

I thought maybe I drank too much, so I should keep a certain distance

Just as I was thinking about it, suddenly the car in front of me fell down and the man fell

I rode by him to take a look. After all

He said something very shocking to himself: Next door to Mahler, he was asleep!~

At about 9 pm one day in midsummer, he was passing by a certain road section in a car and was shocked. I saw a woman sitting on a motorcycle on the side of the road with an intoxicated look on her face, straddling a man and shaking non-stop. A faint gasp of "Oh...uh..." could be heard. Look closely, kao, MAKE LOVE in the street. Glancing around, everyone in the car and on the road had thunderous faces. The summary is as follows:

Women ---gt; ( °▽ °)? ----gt; !(@ [] @ )!

Men---gt; ( °▽ °)? -----gt; (ˉ▽￣～)---gt; ( 》▽》)

Minors ---gt; °_ ° ?

Elders----gt; (—﹏—)╯

Someone went to eat noodles, and it was very loud: Boss , have a tael of beef noodles

After a pause for two seconds, he continued loudly: more beef, more noodles, more vegetables

The boss was unhappy: Why don’t you just eat 2 taels

This person continued to speak loudly: 2 Liang is too much, I can’t finish it

A man in his 30s

A man and a woman were fighting, both in their 30s In appearance, the woman is a typical shrew. When the woman said she couldn't beat the man, she put her hand into her pants, pulled out the bloody WSJ and stuffed it into the man's mouth.

It was so funny last time~~ I took the bus with my BF. The row of seats in front of us is the intersection of one seat and two positions. That is to say, starting from the front row, there are seats for two people, but there is one position that is protruding outside (I don’t like to do this) This kind of seat is empty in front. It doesn’t feel safe. If you brake suddenly, you can easily be thrown out.) Most buses in Shanghai have this kind of seat. Sitting in the protruding position in front of us is a GG, who looks pretty good. The car arrived at the stop, and a very fat girl got on. The car was relatively empty at that time, and there were quite a lot of empty seats. The girl walked directly towards the handsome guy in the front row of us. At this time, my boyfriend whispered to me: Look, that woman is not normal. . Before he finished speaking, the car started to start, and the girl stumbled all the way towards the handsome guy~~ As you can imagine, the fat girl fell into the handsome guy's arms as she wished~~ I could only pinch my BF wildly , biting her lips like crazy~~ to stop laughing~~

One of my roommates, on a special day, leaked a large amount of blood, and her seat was stained with blood during class. She didn’t know it, but she just left after class, in the second period When we went to class again, a boy was sitting in that seat. After class, there was blood on the back of his pants. We watched him leave, speechless...

At about 5pm one day in the summer of last year, I At the most prosperous intersection of the city's most prosperous commercial pedestrian street, a garbage collector took all the plastic bottles from a trash can in the middle of the road into her own bag, and then pulled out the trash can. Start pooping in the bucket.

There were countless passers-by around...all black lines...

2. Two days ago, on the most prosperous commercial pedestrian street in our city, I witnessed a bloody scene with my own eyes. The process is as follows:

A man and a woman came from a distance, both wearing Italian football team uniforms. The woman had a good figure, and the man was tall and handsome

The woman was running wild, and the man was struggling to stay behind, grabbing her arm and refusing to let go

The woman was running wild and throwing her arms, and the man was thrown in front of the woman

The man hugged the woman, and the woman began to struggle, kicking and beating her, and stomping on the man’s feet

The man refused to let go, and the woman struggled to break free and began to run wildly

The man grabbed the woman and pulled her to a blue board at a construction site on the street. The woman kept trying desperately to break free

The man threw the woman onto the blue board and held her up with both hands. On the fence, they started to kiss her

The woman broke away and kicked and hit her, but the man held on tightly and refused to let go

The woman slapped her hard, but the man not only didn’t get angry but also The woman hugged her tightly

The woman struggled a few times and finally calmed down...

Everyone looked at their backs embracing each other in the sunset, their faces covered with black lines

The most powerful thing is that the man and woman did not say a word during the whole process, not even the usual onomatopoeia "um", "ah" and swear words appeared, it was like an intense silent movie

A temple.

Eminent Monk: Please donate some money, three hundred or five hundred will do.

Me: I didn’t bring that much money, maybe next time.

Senior Monk: It doesn’t matter, we can swipe cards here.

Me: Sorry, I don’t have the card with me either.

Eminent Monk: It doesn’t matter, we can also get mortgage loans here, and the monthly interest is only 3.

Me: Sorry, I have nothing to pledge.

Senior Monk: .........Please fill out this organ donation form.

In the past, monkeys were very big and dishonest. They often snatched the belongings of passers-by. After a vegetable farmer was robbed several times, he still couldn't swallow his breath. "We must find a way to cure them!" After observation, he found that monkeys like to imitate human actions and are very unwilling to admit defeat.

Well, now we finally have a solution. After preparation, the vegetable farmer put two radishes - one green radish and one carrot - in his crotch and went up the mountain. Finally we met this group of monkeys on the mountainside. The vegetable farmer is not in a hurry. The watcher monkey is watching from the side. As long as he sees what he wants, he will take action immediately. The vegetable farmer was neither worried nor busy at this time. He didn't pay attention to the basket he usually used to carry vegetables. He just took out the thing in his crotch and played with it in his hands. The monkey didn't know what the vegetable farmer was doing at first, but after a while he couldn't help but start to learn, and he took out his own things to play with. After a while, the vegetable farmer's guy and the monkey's guy got bigger. When the monkeys weren't paying attention, the vegetable farmer changed his penis into a carrot, and still played with it there, rubbing it hard from time to time. After a while, the monkeys noticed that the vegetable farmer's things had turned "red"! The monkeys were unwilling to give in, rubbing and rubbing! Finally, after an hour, they were all red. The vegetable farmer saw that the heat was almost done, and when the monkeys were not paying attention, he threw the carrot away and replaced it with a green radish! It's still there, but it seems to be harder when rubbing. The monkeys finally turned red, but when they saw the vegetable farmer's things - they were already "green"! Can't lose! The monkeys all worked hard together, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing... After half a day, after all the effort, the monkeys finally turned green.

The vegetable farmer took a look and realized it was time! I saw the vegetable farmer smashing the green radish in his hand hard! It broke instantly.

Now the monkeys were anxious, and they all smashed the guys in their hands hard! .........all broken!

Since then, the monkey has been unable to recover, and its body has become smaller and smaller...

Last week, on the sidewalk of Tianhe South Road in front of the Guangzhou Book Center. A man panicked, rushed out of the snack shop, and ran away.

Behind, a woman was chasing after her, holding a hundred-dollar bill in her left hand and a kitchen knife in her right hand, screaming in Mandarin: "Give me back my virginity! Give me back my virginity!", looking heartbroken.

(At that time, I thought, could it be that the man was acting like a gangster and was hunted down because he didn’t pay enough?)

Probably when he saw the woman chasing her with a knife, the man had no choice but to be obedient. Stopped and said to the woman: "Okay, okay, I'll pay you back."

(I don't understand even more. Is it possible to steal someone's virginity and also steal their money? Oh my god! This is so unconscionable. ! I caught him and wanted to cut him off with a knife.)

I saw the woman giving the man a hundred dollar bill, and the man gave the woman a few dozen dollars.

(The more I read, the more confused I become. How can you still make money by taking away someone’s virginity? Look at the man’s appearance. If he can be the “second male”, even an old sow can climb a tree. )

The song ends when people are separated, and there is no solution.

(When I woke up today and thought about this moment, I suddenly realized: It turned out that the man paid counterfeit money and was chased by the lady owner of the snack shop: "Give me the real money!")

The funeral team downstairs was playing "Go Home Often"... I don't know what the family was thinking...

The story happened in China a long time ago,

Good friend Scissors After playing the guessing game all afternoon, Shitou and Bu went home together and walked...

Shitou noticed an oil lamp dropped by the roadside, which was similar to Aladdin's. That kind of magic lamp

He picked it up curiously and brushed off the dust on it

Suddenly white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp

White A... divine dragon slowly emerged from the smoke.

But the divine dragon was dry and a little malnourished

He spoke: "Who let me out?" Weakly

Stone said: It was me who let you out

Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...Then I can give you a wish..."

Shitou: "Ah...there's only one, isn't there three?"

Shenlong: "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong...if you don't want to, I'll knock you down..."

Shitou : "Okay...then...can you make the three of us adults? We're tired of playing guessing every day."

Shenlong: "Oh...I'll give it a try...but there may only be one It can succeed...because I am a half-hearted Shenlong..."

Shenlong coughed a few times and spat on the three of them.

The three of them gradually began to be confused. The smoke was shrouded, and the dragon gradually disappeared in the Three Character Classic

When the white smoke dissipated...

Stone is still stone, scissors are still scissors, only cloth is no longer cloth, cloth Successfully transformed into a human!

When one family was happy and two were sad,

Someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene,

so he recorded it,

p>

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

The cloth was successful and became a human being.

This statement then spread to later generations and was also included in Chinese teaching materials.

An old man in the family passed away.

Because a public sacrifice was required, the body was frozen with ice.

He would be invited out when the public sacrifice was held.

It happened to be very hot at that time,

There were water droplets after thawing on the body,

When my grandson saw it, he was very nervous. Shouted:

"Grandma, grandma... Grandpa is sweating..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh... Grandpa died for the first time. , I’m so nervous!”

A man met God one day..

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that man a wish…

God asked …

Do you have any wishes...

The man thought for a while...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish comes true...

One day, the man was free. Boring...

I want to just die...

I have 9 lives anyway

Just lie on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train passed by...

The man was still dead...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 carriages...

A lady encountered a red light while driving halfway.

The traffic police watching her watched the red light change to green, and the green light to red...

She was still parked in the middle of the road, motionless.

So the traffic policeman walked over and asked the lady: "What's the matter? Isn't there a color you like?"

I've been dating her for several years, right?

It seems like it's been... There are fewer phone calls

Feelings faded

Ask her why

She just lowers her head and says nothing...

I don’t know what to do

After all... feelings can’t be forced

I heard from a friend

She has been very close to a man recently

I can’t believe it

Nor do I want to believe it

Because…..I really like her…

But….. That day on the street

I actually saw her and another him

holding hands

talking and laughing very intimately

In an instant

My heart... was broken...

After my inquiries

I found out that he... was actually a medical student

There is also a big hospital at home

How can I, a third-rate university student, compare to that...

I haven’t been able to sleep these days

I still want to save the relationship between us...

I thought about it for a long time

and decided to give her an apple every day

Because

I firmly believe

"An apple a day keeps a doctor away."

One night...

Xiao Ming couldn't sleep and decided Go out for a walk...

He walked onto the highway near his home...

Unluckily, he ran into a police inspection...

Xiao Ming was Called over for questioning.

The police asked Xiao Ming why he walked on the highway. After asking, he handed him a ticket...

It said

1. Not wearing a seat belt

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed does not exceed 60 kilometers per hour

This is what I answered to others. I will copy it to you. There are many, so you can filter it yourself. And I agree very much with what Oo Xiaodong said, this score is really not good~

A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after death. When it was Einstein’s turn to catch people, he counted 100 opened his eyes and saw that everyone was hiding, only Newton was still standing there. Einstein walked over and said: "Newton, I caught you." Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton." Einstein: "You are not Newton, who are you?" Newton: "Look at what I have under my feet. What?" Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile that was one meter long and wide. Newton: "This is a square meter of one square meter under my feet, and it is Newton/square meter when I stand on it, so what you grasp is not Newton, what you grasp is ***."

...... …… …… ……

Pascal

When the boy and the girl were in the ambiguous period, the girl received an offer from Duke University in the United States. At the airport boarding lane, the girl looked anxiously That figure that I miss so much. But when that familiar body really appeared in front of her, the girl didn't dare to look at the attachment in the other person's eyes.

"If you ask me to stay, I will give up studying abroad." The girl secretly made up her mind. The boy took out a beautifully wrapped gift box, and inside was a mechanical watch with its hands stopped. The boy put the watch gently on the girl's wrist, wound it up, let go, and the stopped hand started drawing circles again.

"Yes, everyone will have a new beginning, why bother to cling to this moment?" The girl thought, waved her hand, and quickly walked into the boarding channel, without any hesitation in her heart. Just the glimpse of the sobbing figure touched the heartstrings a little.

Sixty years later, the girl has dyed hair on her temples and is packing up her belongings in her home in Boston in preparation for moving. Outside, my American wife is coaxing her grandchildren to get into the car. Suddenly, the mechanical watch at the bottom of the box suddenly appeared in front of her, and her memory suddenly returned to the farewell scene at the airport 60 years ago. The "girl" was stunned for a while, sighed, wiped the surface, wound up the watch, and let go. , the stopped watch hand started to draw circles again...

My wife called out "girl" several times outside but did not hear the response from "girl". When I entered the house, I saw her holding an old-style watch with tears in her eyes. whirling.

What does ----------- mean. . . . That's what the boy wanted to express back then: the watch is gone. . .

It’s extremely cold! ! !

A man was on a business trip and suddenly came home and heard the sound of a man snoring at the door.

The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Get a divorce!!!"

Then he threw away his mobile phone card and walked away...

Three years later they met again in a city.

The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

The man told what happened at that time.

The wife turned and left,

said calmly: That is Ruixing’s little lion

My English teacher always likes to ask questions in class, whenever he calls someone When answering a question, I always ask: can you? It means can you.

One day we learned the word born, which means giving birth. Then she gave an example: a sow can give birth to ten piglets at a time, and then asked a boy to translate. When the boy stood up, the teacher said no. Forgot to ask: can you? The boy replied: i can't.

After ten seconds of silence, the class burst into laughter

1: Once upon a time, a man went fishing and caught a squid. .

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don’t roast me to eat.

The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.

Squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test!

Then the man grilled the squid...

2: I once suffered from schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.

3: An international student was taking the driving license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner:

“Turn left?”

Answer : "right"

So...died..

4: One day, Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into red bean; pus kept flowing. , turned into soybeans again; the wounds became scarred, and finally turned into black beans.

5: Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying~ he flew up...

6: There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked...

7: Little One day the penguin asked his grandma, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, daddy, am I a penguin?" Yes, you are a penguin, what's wrong?" "But, why do I feel so cold?"

8: A pair of corns fell in love...

So they decided to get married. …

On the wedding day…

One corn couldn’t find another corn…

This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our home? Is there any corn?

Popcorn: Honey, is she wearing a wedding dress...