What is moderate compliment and learn to praise the other person?

The reputation of "praising" seems to be not very good. Generally, those who praise others will always be regarded as flattering and flattering. Especially young people who are high-spirited and have a prejudice against "peng". The first is that they think it is detrimental to their personality; the second is that they think highly of themselves and disdain to praise others; the third is that they are afraid that others will surpass themselves and be dwarfed by them. However, "praising" in normal communication is not a random act of flattery, but a superb art of life.

(1) Use "words" to compliment each other and achieve the goal skillfully.

As the saying goes: No gold is pure and no one is perfect. In real life, moderate compliment is a communication art that enhances friendship and promotes mutual progress of both parties. For those who know how to "praise", growing others' ambitions means growing one's own ambitions. Because you have discovered the other person's strengths and made him feel honored, he will cherish your own strengths more and pay attention to their role; the other person will in turn increase your ambition and let you continue to move forward in honor.

In ancient times, King Yama was regarded as the chief judge of hell and had extremely high authority in the underworld.

One day, King Yama felt bored and ordered the little ghosts in the palace: "You guys go to the human world and catch those people who are good at talking and talking. I will fry them in a pan." Let them die so that they will never be reincarnated. Such people do not do their job properly even in this world. They talk and incite others all day long, causing many people to lose their nature and go astray..." Several little ghosts hurriedly responded with a "yes". Leaving hell, we set out for the human world. After a while, several little ghosts captured a tall man. King Yama said: "Why are you so fast? Didn't you catch the wrong person?" The little ghosts quickly replied: "We can't make a mistake. There is such a thing in the world." There are so many people that you can catch them casually. If your Majesty doesn't believe it, you can ask him." When King Yama began to interrogate the man, he accidentally farted loudly, and the stench rose to the sky. The man had an idea. As soon as he moved, he quickly walked up to King Yama, bowed respectfully to him and said, "Oh! How wonderful the sound of your king's fart is! It sounds like a beautiful piece of music, and there are also musk and The fragrance of orchids." King Yama was very happy after hearing this and said, "Yes! It seems that you are the only one who understands the dignity of the dragon body. Hey, kid, take this man to the inner hall. , entertain him well."

The man walked behind the guide and said, "You look extraordinary, and your appearance is also different. The two horns on your head are curved. As smooth and beautiful as the moon. And your shining eyes are like two shooting stars in the blue sky! You will be rich and prosperous in the future!" The kid suddenly stopped after hearing the man's words. He stopped and said, "The king has asked them to prepare for the banquet. It will take some time to prepare. Can you come to our house to have a cup of tea and rest for a while? We will go to the banquet when the time is up."

This Although it is a joke, it shows from another perspective that everyone has a arrogant mentality. Even King Yama and the little devil like to hear compliments. The person who was arrested not only did not receive any compliments because he said some compliments. Punishment, but preferential treatment. In life, sometimes, in order to create a good speaking atmosphere and make the other person feel good about you, you must think carefully before speaking, consider the person and the language to use in the situation, and don’t just say whatever comes to mind. This is very easy. It is easy to cause resentment in others. Therefore, for those who are outspoken, they must cultivate their thinking and careful speaking style.

The world-famous sales guru Yuan Yiping once said: Praise is the magic weapon for my sales success.

Once, Yuan Yiping went to visit the owner of a store.

"Hello, sir!"

"Who are you?"

"I am Yuan Yiping from the insurance company. I just arrived here today. I’d like to ask you some questions from your well-known boss.”

“What? The well-known boss?”

“Yes, according to what I heard, everyone does. It's best to ask you about this question.

”

“Oh! Everyone is talking about me! I really can’t take it seriously. What’s the problem? "

"To be honest, it's..."

"It's inconvenient to talk standing up, so please come in! ”

In life, it is very common to praise people with praise. No one will reject you under your flattery. It is a quick way for you to win people’s hearts.

Everyone likes to hear good words. As long as you know how to "prescribe the right medicine", you will definitely achieve success. If you know how to win the favor of others and how to "praise" others to be willing to help you, you will definitely achieve it. My own purpose.

In a company, there is a manager who is arrogant by nature. Strangers want to get close to him, but his stiff and cold face often scares them away. One day, there is a manager from other places. The clerk came to the company. After understanding his temper, the clerk smiled and handed a cigarette and said: "Manager, as soon as I walked in, I heard that the manager is a cheerful person, serious and compassionate. Especially for outsiders. It makes me so happy to hear others say that. I love working with leaders like you! "After hearing this, the manager immediately smiled on his face and then talked about business.

From this example, we can find that if you give the other party some flattering words in a timely manner, the other party will not give a compliment to someone who respects you. With a cold reception, you will naturally become approachable and amiable under the psychological control of maintaining your self-image. In this way, your goal will be achieved.

(2) Make good use of "lies". ".

There is a very smart prime minister in the Kingdom of Oman.

One day, the prime minister said to the king: "Your Majesty, I have received news that three kings of neighboring countries are meeting in secret. Want to form an alliance to attack you in order to divide your kingdom. "

The king was very angry and said, "What, why are they like this? No, we have to send troops to attack them!" "

The prime minister said: "No! Your Majesty, think about it, if we start a war, we will not be able to defeat these three countries. Judging from the current situation, we can only conquer their hearts first, and then defeat them one by one. In this way, not only can they not divide your territory, but you can also incorporate their territory into your territory. "

The king asked: "That makes sense, but how can you conquer their hearts? "

The prime minister said: "As long as we understand their temper, we can manipulate them as we like. ”

After a while, the prime minister led some soldiers, attendants, horses, and some camels, and began to march towards the first neighboring country. They soon arrived at the kingdom. They walked into the palace and asked the king Greetings and salutes. The prime minister said politely: "My master and the people of our country have heard that your majesty has written a hymn with beautiful rhythm. Therefore, the king sent me to ask your majesty: Please allow me to bring your poem with you." When we return to our country, we will announce it throughout the country as the pearl of poetry, and ask our country's poets to listen to your masterpieces in order to improve their writing skills. Please consider it. "

After hearing what the prime minister said, the king said very happily: "Okay, you give this poem to my brother - your king! Any other requirements? Our countries should support each other! "

The prime minister knew that the time had come and said to the king: "Your Majesty, the people in the distant mountains of our great kingdom sometimes steal sheep from us. If you are willing to send a team there to teach the people to obey the law, you will do a great thing. "

The king said happily: "Of course. "

The prime minister did not dare to waste time and traveled day and night to the second kingdom. He walked into the palace, greeted the king and saluted, and said: "My master heard that your army is well-trained and moves very quickly. , and it is well organized. Due to etiquette reasons, our king cannot come to your capital in person. Therefore, I request your majesty to send this elite army to a place on the border of our country so that our king can feast his eyes and give his Commanders set an example.

"

When the king heard what the prime minister said, he felt sweet in his heart and said, "Of course, this army will go there immediately! "

Then the prime minister came to the third kingdom. He walked into the palace and saluted the king: "My master and our people have heard that your majesty is superb at playing chess, so I have been sent to ask your Majesty some questions in order to guide our King in the game of chess. "The prime minister said as he took out the chess board and placed it next to the king's throne. He arranged the chess pieces according to the chess pattern, and the king gave him wise suggestions. The prime minister carefully wrote down all these suggestions on the paper.

After the two of them discussed this issue, the king asked: "Is there anything else you need my help with? I am very willing to help your country! "

The prime minister took the opportunity to say: "There is also a small problem. There are some bandits in our country. When we were chasing them, they escaped into the mountains on the border of your Majesty's great territory. Those people stole a lot of our gold. If you could send troops to hunt them down, you would be doing us a big favor! "

The king smiled and said: "Okay, I will definitely help with this little help. My army will go there immediately! "

The prime minister returned home after finishing his work. He said to the king: "Your Majesty, the army of the first king of the neighboring country has now arrived in the remote western mountains; the army of the second kingdom is on the way. We are waiting for you to review near the border of our country; the army of the third king has also moved to the distant eastern mountains. So now please order your army to annihilate the second king's army first, and then annihilate the other two kings' armies. Before the armies of these neighboring countries have time to retreat or join forces to attack you, you can kill them. Everyone was annihilated! "Hearing what the prime minister said, the king immediately sent out his army. Not long after, the king's army returned triumphantly with the three captive kings. The king asked the prime minister in surprise: "You have done a great job this time. I want to know How did you mobilize them so that we could annihilate them all? "

The prime minister smiled and said to the king: "It's very simple. I learned: the first king claimed to be a great poet; the second king claimed to be a brave and invincible general; and the third king claimed to be a brave and invincible general. The king prided himself on being a chess master. After I understood these things clearly, their fate was all in the palm of my hand! ”

In life, people like the kings of those three countries are not uncommon. They just love to hear good things. When they hear others praising themselves, they get carried away and agree to all the other people’s requests. Of course. , when flattering people, you should not flatter others. Your words of flattery must be frank and appropriate, and you must speak of the other person's strengths.

The owner of a pharmacy in a certain city is very good at giving people face, whether it is true or false. As long as the words come from his mouth, they are so beautiful, and the pharmacy's business is booming because of this. Whenever a customer comes to the door, he will immediately stand up to greet him and say "welcome" with a smile on his face. The customer felt happy when he heard this, which gave him the satisfaction of being taken seriously. Next, the pharmacy owner began to tell "lies" from the bottom of his heart. For example, to those who were older, he said, "Look." "You look so young," and for those ladies and ladies who love beauty and dress up, he would say something like, "The clothes you are wearing are very beautiful, you look really elegant," etc., which made people feel comfortable and warm. .

In order to achieve the purpose of flattering people in life, you need to pay attention to the following three points when using compliments:

(1) The method of "pleasing" people should be based on the person.

In life, people's qualities are different, and their ages are also different. They vary from person to person. Compliments that highlight individuality and characteristics can receive better results than general compliments. Effect.

Old people always hope that others will not forget their achievements and glory in "back then". When talking to them, you can praise them more about the past that they are proud of, so as to gain their approval and favor; for some young people, you might as well speak in a slightly softer tone. Exaggerately praise his creative talent and pioneering spirit, and cite a few examples to prove that he can indeed have a bright future, so that they have a feeling of being understood and envied by others; for people in the business world, you can praise him for his flexible mind , there is a way to make money; for some intellectuals, they can be praised for their profound knowledge, tranquility and indifference... What needs special attention is: all of this must be based on facts, and must not be made out of nothing. To achieve your goal, you must learn to discover the strengths and weaknesses of others and let the witty words shine.

(2) Impress others with sincerity.

Everyone likes to hear compliments, but not all compliments can make the other person happy. In the process of talking with others, you should not say flattery to others out of thin air. Only when you say something true will the other person be happy. What can arouse the other person's goodwill is those compliments that are based on facts and come from the heart. If you engage in disgusting flattery and "flattering", sober and arrogant people will treat you as a villain and look down upon you even more. If you praise and flatter others without any basis and false feelings, they will not only feel confused, but also think you are glib, deceitful and hypocritical. For example, when you see an unattractive girl and you say to her, "You are so beautiful," the other person will immediately think that what you said is hypocritical and contrary to their intentions. But if you focus on her clothes, conversation, and behavior, find her outstanding features in these aspects and sincerely praise her, she will definitely accept it happily. Sincere praise will not only make the person being praised psychologically happy, but also enable you to often discover the advantages of others, thereby making you have an optimistic and appreciative attitude towards life.

(3) The method of praise should be "appropriate to the time".

If you want to achieve your goals, you must seize the opportunity to flatter. We know that the effect of praise lies in acting in camera and in moderation. We must truly achieve the goal of "drinking good wine until you are slightly drunk, and seeing the beautiful flowers half bloom." When someone plans to do something meaningful, the praise and compliments at the beginning can inspire him to make up his mind to achieve results, the praise and compliments in the middle are helpful for the other person to make persistent efforts, and the praise and compliments at the end can confirm the achievements and point out further efforts. direction, thereby receiving the effect of "praising one and motivating a group".

In real life, a person's power is limited. If you want to accomplish great things, you must learn to praise others and pay attention to the way of flattering others. In this way, people will get twice the result with half the effort.