Seek full translation of the witty short story a3.

Once upon a time, there were three turtles who were friends. One of them is a chinemys reevesii, one is a medium-sized turtle, and the third is a little turtle. One day, they went into a restaurant and ordered some cakes. When they were waiting for the cake, they remembered that they didn't bring any money. "Hey, we forgot to bring money to pay for our cake. "chinemys reevesii said." "The little turtle can go home," said the medium turtle. "He is the youngest, so he should go." The little turtle was not very satisfied, but he knew he shouldn't think (argue) with his elders, so he said, "OK, I'll go. But you must promise not to eat my cake while I am away. The big turtle and the medium turtle agreed, and the little turtle began to get some money. A few days later, chinemys reevesii said to his medium-sized turtle, "Let's eat the little turtle's cake. I am hungry again. " "Me too." The medium turtle said, cake. When she did this, the little turtle shouted from the restaurant door. "If you touch my cake, I won't take the money!"

2. It is wrong for an old friend

Carol Evans to hate. If she makes a mistake, she will never admit it. One day, while she was walking along the street, she met another woman. She looked at the woman very carefully. Then she said, "Kate's training! Well, well, well, I haven't seen you for ten years. " She looked the woman up and down. "But you have changed, Kate," she went on. "You are fat, but now you are thin." She smiled at her. "But you look fine. Nice to see you again." She took the woman's hand and shook it. "But, oh, you have changed," she said. "I have never seen anyone change so much. You used to have thick hair, but now it's thin. You are not used to wearing glasses, but now you wear thick ones. " She smiled at the woman again. "But you're still the same Kate Foster I use for coffee every week. We had some good times without us, Kate? " "I'm sorry, madam," said the woman, "but my name is not Kate Foster. "Carol thought for a minute, and then she said," So you changed your name, didn't you? "

3. Not here

Kathy and Polly are friends. One day Kathy met Hi,Polly in the street. She said, "Hi, it's good to see you." Polly asked, "How can you see me when I'm not here?" Kathy said, "What do you mean you're not here? Of course you are here! " Polly said, "No, I'm not here. I bet you ten dollars that I'm not here. " Kathy said, "All right! Give you ten dollars, and now prove that you are not here. " Polly said, "It's simple. Am I in Hong Kong now?" Kathy said, "No." (Polly says) "So am I in Paris now?" Kathy said, "No." Polly said, "If I am not in Hong Kong or Paris, then I must be somewhere else, right?" Kathy said, "Yes, you must be somewhere." Polly said, "Exactly. If I'm somewhere else, then I'm not here, am I? Please give me ten dollars! " Kathy said, "Polly, you are very clever, but I can't give you ten dollars." Polly asked, "Why not give it to me? I didn't bet! " Kathy said, "We did make a bet, but how can I give you ten dollars if you are not here?" Then she smiled and left!

4. A bad doctor

A man walked into the doctor's examination room. "Stick out your tongue," said the doctor. The man put his tongue and said to the doctor. "ok. You can put your tongue back to the present." The doctor said. Obviously, something is wrong. You, you need more operators. "But, doctor," said the man. "I don't think-""Don't tell me what I think," the doctor said, pinching the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them got any exercises. They sit in the office all day and in front of the TV in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly, for at least 2 minutes a day. "Doctor, you don't understand," said the patient. "I don't want to hear any excuses," said the doctor. You must find time to exercise. If you don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are old. "But I walk every day," said the patient. "Oh, yes, I know what kind of walk, that is, you walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few more feet from the bus stop to your office, and a few more feet from your office, a restaurant for lunch, back, this is not a real walk. I'm talking about a man who walks in the park for 2 minutes every day. Please listen to me, doctor! "The patient shouted and became more and more angry with this doctor who thought that he knew everything. "I'm a postman," the patient went on. "I walked for more than seven hours every day."

5. Nothing to complain about

One day Susan Lee was walking along the street when she saw her friend Lisa Wu. She hasn't seen her old friend for a while, so she said, "We've had a lot to talk about. Let's have some tea and cakes in this cafe. She pointed out that go to a nearby coffee shop. Lisa agreed, so two friends walked into the cafe. Susan ordered. "We will have two cakes," she said, "and a pot of tea. The waitress wrote down their orders and went to the distance. She quickly returned with a cake and a pot of tea. Susan saw at once that one cake was a little bigger than the others. However, she was so polite that she picked up the board and offered it to Lisa. "There is a cake, Lisa," she said. "Thank you," said Lisa, "but then you". "No, no," said Susan. "Later, please". "Good," said Lisa, who bought two bigger cakes. "She said," This is very rude ". "Not all of them," Lisa replied. "Tell me, if you took the cake before me, would you take the cake? "The smaller one, of course," said Susan. "It is. Well, you have a smaller one, so what's your complaint?

6. A farewell gift

When Michael Ma died, his three best friends went to his funeral. They stood at a moment and looked down at the grave of their friends. "He is a good friend," said the first man. "He is generous and kind. Let's give him some money to spend in the sky." The other two friends agreed. They think it's a good idea. The first friend took his wallet out of his pocket, opened it and took out a $1 bill. Then, he made it serious. The second friend didn't want the other two to think he was stingy, so he took out his wallet. "Your right," he said. "He always helps his friends. He deserves everything. He needs to live in his environment." With these words, he also threw $1 into the bill seriously. The third man looked at the other two and thought carefully for a few minutes. He didn't want them to think he was stingy, but he really hated throwing money around. Then, he took out his checkbook and wrote "Check three hundred dollars". He then checked it seriously. "I didn't get any change," he said, "but the check was $3, so I made you feel the same."

7. Good value

George is very stingy. He hates spending money. Whenever he has to buy something, he always argues about the price and tries to bargain, even the cheapest thing. If he wants to buy a can of coke, for example, ask 2 yuan with the shop assistant, George will say, "I'll buy it for $1.9". Sometimes shopkeepers agree to reduce their prices a little. "Ten cents for what?" They ask themselves. If it makes this man happy, it won't hurt me very much. In this way, George saved a few cents here and a few cents there, and by the end of this year, he saved hundreds of dollars. One day, he had a terrible toothache and went to the dentist. The dentist looked at the tooth and said, "This tooth will come out. It's too damaged, save it. "How much are you responsible for taking the teeth?" George asked. "Forty dollars," said the dentist. $4! George thinks it's too expensive. "How long will it take you to get out of your teeth?" He asked. "About two minutes," said the dentist. George can't believe it's a hearing. "Forty dollars, two minutes' work!" He shouted. This is robbery. The dentist smiled. "Your rights." She said. "Thank you for telling me. I'll pull your teeth out very slowly. So what if I take an hour and a half?

8. Not funny

John Smith and his friend Bill Jones were boarded on a desert island in the central Pacific Ocean. They have enough fish and fruit to eat, but they haven't read it, except a book full of jokes. Every joke is a number. At first, to help pass the time, John and Bill tell jokes to another, and then they tell them from memory. A year later, they knew the jokes so that it was clear that they just said how many jokes there were. "2," John would say, and Bill would roar and laugh. Then Bill may say, "75" and John will laugh. A day later, they had been on the island for many years, and another man was on a boat with them. "How do you spend your time?" He asked them. "We tell each other jokes." Bill said and handed his joke book. "Tell us a joke," John said. "The number just read". "O.K.," said the man. He looked forward to reading this book until he found a joke, which he thought was very funny. This is the number 83. "I found a good joke," he said. "Are you ready?"? "Yes," said Bill and John. "Right", the man said. "Here, this is. 83 “ 。 John and Bill just looked at the man. There is no motion on their faces. None of them is perfect. "Why don't you laugh? : "The man asked. "It's very good that you don't tell it," said Bill.

9. The right tool for employment

When his young son was ill, Mr. Wei took him to a clinic. They were the first patient's day, and they didn't have to wait too long. The nurse took the boy to the doctor's room while Mr. Wei waited outside. A few minutes later, the doctor came out of his room and went to the nurse. "We have a screwdriver?" He asked her. Nurse, look, I found a screwdriver in the drawer. She listed its doctor and he went back to his room. A few minutes later, he came out again. "I need more than half," he said to the nurse at this time. Again, the nurse looks in the drawer. She found more than half of its doctors. He went back to his room. A few minutes later, the doctor came out of his room for the third time. "I need a hammer to go." He said. For the third time, the nurse took care of it, in the drawer. She found the hammer and its doctor. Mr. Wei can't keep silent at this time. Forgive me. He said, "But what is wrong with my son? What are you doing here with him? "I haven't studied him yet, but" said the doctor. I'm still trying to get my bag open

1 .. Pay in full

One day, a bus stops at a tourist attraction, and all the passengers transfer to tons and enter a nearby restaurant. One of them went up to the manager and said, "Good morning. I asked. Tom Wilkins. These people are all patients in the city mental hospital, and they have their annual bus trip. They will all perform very well, but there is a small problem. They will be willing to pay for the bottle caps of their food and drinks. I will ask that they will be allowed to do so, so that I have this bill before we just left. "The manager wanted to help, so he said," This will be a fine, Mr. Chairman. I hope you will all enjoy yourselves in my restaurant. "All patients sit down. They ordered their food and drinks and behaved well. No one knows that their patient is in a mental hospital. At the end of last year, after dinner, each of them paid his or her bill with a bottle cap. Then they left the restaurant and came back to get on the bus. Tom Wilkins rose to manager. "You have been in the most physical," he said, "and understanding. I will pay the bill now. "The manager added that everything the patient had ordered and gave the total Tom Wilkins. It brings a lot of money. "This is a fair price," said Tom. "I'm happy to pay. Have you changed it to 6 bottles? "

11. Wrong question

One day, when Jack was walking in the park, he saw a woman. He knew that he was sitting in a chair beside the dog. The dog is looking at the woman. Jack rose to the woman and said, "Hello, Sue, how are you?"? Maybe sit with me and be with you, and "?

"Sure, please sit down". Sue said. Jack sat down, and Sue next to him presided over the meeting. They talked quietly together. The dog still looks, and then looks up at Sue, because if waiting for something to eat.

"This is a good dog," said Jack, looking at animals.

"Yes, his nice and his steady and healthy".

"Hungry," said Jack. He didn't take his eyes off you, he thought you had food for him.

"It's true," the prosecution said, "but I didn't".

Two friends laughed, and then Jack said, "Excuse me, did your dog bite me?

"no," said Sue. No one has ever been bitten around him.

Hearing this, Jack decided to touch it.