The funniest jokes

1. When I was a child, I was particularly envious of people wearing watches, but I couldn’t afford one. What should I do? I put a five-cent coin through two holes and tied it to my wrist, and some people even asked me what time it was. I stared at my wrist, pretending to be deep in thought, and raised my head to answer: Five points less than a dime...

2. You don’t need too many good friends, two are enough. One is willing to lend you money, and the other is willing to beat him up when he asks you for a debt.

3. Today, when the family was shopping, my dad actually took the initiative to help my mother carry her bag. It reminded me that I was really inconsiderate of my daughter-in-law. But while we were shopping, my dad disappeared, and my mom didn’t have a wallet or anything to buy, so she had to give up. I suddenly had an epiphany... Ginger is still hotter when old!

4. The roommate took a pack of rice crackers and ate them with gusto on the sofa. I watched eagerly from the side. I wanted to eat it but was embarrassed to say so, so I said, "Let me taste whether it is crispy or not." At this time, a classic scene appeared. The roommate took a piece and put it in his mouth and said calmly: "Listen."

5. Go to a new company for an interview. Interviewer: "Do you have organizational skills?" Me: "Absolutely no problem! I once organized a general strike in my last company!" Then there was no more...

6. Experts say that it is packed in barrels Instant noodles are unhealthy to eat and should be soaked in a bowl. After hearing this sentence, I became uneasy... I already eat instant noodles, do you think I still care about my health? Expert, you are too naive!

7. "I am a prodigal who is used to wandering, and I have been waiting for someone who can let me put down my backpack. I think you are the one I am destined for." "Stop talking nonsense, big bag." The parcel has passed the security check, hurry up."

8. I just made a friend! He came to my house to play. When he was almost at the door, he called me and asked me which building my house was in. I stuck my head out the window and waved to him, saying to the phone: "Did you see me?" He said: "Yes, sir." Being ugly means being easy to recognize! ”

9. The reason why Sun Wukong is so thin is probably because he burned his calories in Taishang Laojun’s alchemy furnace!

10. "What does it feel like to have a successful confession?" "He is finally blind, he is finally blind, he is finally blind."