An educational and funny script.

Drama: sketch

Title: Song Wu Da Hu

Role: Store Song Wu Monkey Tiger Police

(The story begins at Jingyanggang Hotel ...)

Shopkeeper (dial first): 782954 ... Boss Zhang, why hasn't the monkey brain I want arrived yet? What? Out of stock. Do you have a frog? Ok, then send it to me quickly. (to the audience) Nowadays people are very talkative and want to eat some strange things, such as frog legs, turtledove wings and orangutan brains ... Look how prosperous the business of Jingyanggang Hotel is! But now I'm in a hurry! What's the hurry? All the games are sold out. What can we do? hey ...

Song Wu (singing): The river flows eastward ... I, Song Wu, the hero who fought tigers in those days, walked hungry and thirsty today. I have to find a hotel to have a drink! (Shouting): Boss, do you have any wine? Bring a bowl of wine to eat!

Shopkeeper: Yo! Isn't this the head of Wudu? What brings you here!

Song Wu: Northwest wind. Do you have any good wine? Just bring it!

Shopkeeper: This is the best pressed beer. Let me screen it for you.

Song Wu: This is really good wine. It's really amazing! (I drank three bowls in a row and stretched myself) Wow! That's so cool!

(Shouting again): Boss, are there any games? Bring me some wine!

Shopkeeper: Games? It's sold out! You don't know, the management is strict now, and the goods are particularly tight. Alas, Wudutou, where have you made a fortune these days?

Song Wu: Forget it! Since he killed the tiger, he has become famous in one fell swoop, eating the imperial grain and having no worries about food and clothing. Alas! Now that I've been laid off from institutional reform, I'm so embarrassed at hand recently that I don't even have the money to drink. ...

Shopkeeper: (striking table) Hi!

Wudutou, you are the living one who is suffocated by urine! (Mysteriously) Now an owl can sell for 5000 yuan, and a monkey brain can sell for 1000 yuan. (pretending to be poor) alas ... alas! Why do you complain that you have no money to drink when you have so many skills and so many opportunities to get rich?

Song Wu: The animals you mentioned are all protected by the state. They can be strictly controlled. It's not cost-effective to be caught for those two pennies!

Shopkeeper (mysterious): Well, there is a big deal now. Would you like to do it?

Song Wu: What do you mean?

Shopkeeper: I heard that recently there was another big bug with a white forehead hanging on my eyes on Jingyanggang. 50,000 to 60,000 for a tiger skin! Add tiger gall, tiger bone and tiger meat, at least hundreds of thousands!

Song Wu (with a reluctant face): Wow! Hundreds of thousands? ……

Shopkeeper: (takes out cash) Cash, this is a great opportunity!

Song Wu (hesitating): This. ...

Shopkeeper: (looking at it with disdain, mocking tone) Yo! Yo! ..... I didn't expect the hero who killed the tiger in those days to dare not kill a mouse today!

Song Wu (angrily): What did you say? Wow! It really pisses me off. (Knocking on the table) Bring me the wine, I'll drink another 18 bowls of his wine, and then I'll beat the big white bug! (Song Wu throws a cup and the shop picks it up. )

(after drinking, pick up the whistle stick and leave)

(Singing): Run when it's time to run. It is going up the hill. ...

Shopkeeper (calculation): Is this the true nature of a tiger hero? A piece of tiger skin can earn 20 thousand, plus tiger gall, tiger bone and tiger meat ... hahaha! I want to send it again this time! (store exit)

(Song Wu comes to the mountain)

Monkey (me): (singing) My king is the Monkey King, and Tang Priest has gone to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures. A group of people entered Guo Huashan, and the young monkeys were skinned and their livers were dug. It's a good thing I'm smart and not dead. Today I was exiled to Jingyanggang. This is a good place. I'll settle down here for the time being!

Song Wu: A monkey? ! What did the store say just now? How much is a monkey? Forget it, kill it first! (Raise a stick to hit)

Monkey: (Shouting) Help! Tiger king, help me!

(Shouts fall, tigers roar)

Song Wu: Ouch! There are tigers. I'm going to be rich this time!

Tiger (me): (looking at Song Wu) Isn't this Song Wu who killed my ancestors? What a narrow road! You old thing, watch how I avenge my ancestors today!

Policeman (I): (Shouting) Stop it! (Scare away the tiger)

Song Wu: (hands clenched) Dude, it's a good thing you arrived in time and hit the tiger!

Policeman: (shows the detention warrant and grabs Song Wu) What dude, I'm a policeman, and you're under arrest!

Song Wu: (puzzled) If you don't shoot tigers, why are you arresting me?

Policeman: You violated the Wildlife Protection Law (handcuff Song Wu). )

Song Wu: In those days, I killed a tiger and became a hero. Today, I was arrested for shooting tigers. If the police don't arrive in time, I will be in danger. (Song Wu kneels) Thank you for saving my life! Alas ... it's all because of the hateful store.

Policeman: What? Shopkeeper again! We're watching him. Let's go! Kill that black shop!

Tiger: I survived this time, thanks to the wildlife protection law!

answer to a curtain call