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A cold joke that calms you down instantly.

1, read some interesting stories about the university, and miss that time very much. When I was in college, it was common to eat and drink together. I remember when I came back from drinking, my third son in the dormitory drank a little too much. I asked him if he was safe, but I didn't have to answer. However, I saw him brushing his teeth on my toothbrush with facial cleanser. Less than a minute later, I came back and shouted: Grandma, who squeezed facial cleanser on my toothbrush!

Step 2: One day .....

Yongze said to Maruko, "You are so mean! 」

Maruko: "What do I mean? 」

Yongze: "Ask someone else if you don't believe me."

Maruko went to Hua Lun.

Maruko: "Hua Lun, am I mean? 」

Hua Lun: "Hey! Baby ~ で

3. Maruko asked:? Why can we only say that our daughter looks like our father, but not that our father looks like our daughter? Dad said: I ask you, do you have a father or a daughter first? Of course, there is a daughter first, then a father. ? Maruko said confidently, After my mother gave birth to me, you became my father's! ? .

4. After turning off the lights at night, a buddy remembered that he didn't brush his teeth, touched toothpaste and had no food to eat, and asked the boss for help. Brother, lend it to my brother! ?

The boss said: Mine is still in its usual place. ?

Dude, I got toothpaste with great joy and familiarity. Brush brush said:? Boss, what new toothpaste is this? Isn't the taste very special?

The boss turned on the light and saw his buddy holding a multifunctional shoe polish and brushing it up.

5. Toothpaste women often chop and change.

Suddenly, dating my brother's soft toothbrush

I suddenly fell in love with electric toothbrush.

A new neighbor came today.

Sister Toothpaste: "Wow, you are so tall and stylish ~ What's your name ~ Come out with me ~"

The new neighbor said coldly, "No! Because I am a comb ~ "

6. The hot water from the dormitory water dispenser is super slow, 800cc takes about five minutes.

Just now, mm went to pick up the water, staring at the water outlet of the water dispenser while reading the webpage, and said, I can't stand it. Is there something wrong with the prostate?

7. When there is no one in the company after work, several computers get together to play mahjong, and the water dispenser looks very interesting. It wants to play, too Every time the water dispenser plays mahjong, it loses to the computer, but it still insists on participating every day. When I saw the sofa, I felt very puzzled and asked the chair: The water dispenser loses every day, why do you still play so hard? The chairman said:? Are you crazy to ask such a question?

8.m: The hardest thing in the world is women.

Woman: No, I think the most boring thing in the world is men!

M: Let me give you an example. Did you argue with your husband for three hours about a trifle yesterday?

Woman: Yes, how do you know! ?

Man: Hear from the beginning to the end!

9. The grocer has a new daughter. One day, a friend came to fix up his little daughter and told her that she was only one year older than the girl.

The businessman and his wife discussed the marriage privately. He said that the daughter had just turned one year old and the boy was two years old, twice as old as her daughter. When his daughter gets married at the age of twenty, he will be forty. How can we have the heart to let our daughter marry such an old man?

His wife smiled and said, you old fool! Now our daughter is one year old, won't she be as big as that boy next year?

10. The new Mizuno asked Yamamoto: How many people are there in baseball training?

Yamamoto:? If they are not there, there are 30 larks. ?

? What if the lark were here?

? There's nothing left. ?

1 1. Pongley went out to play. On this day, a car drove on the expressway from Jiansi, with a group of people sitting on it, He Ping and Yamamoto. A traffic policeman stopped at an intersection: Sir, you are the first person to pass our section without violating traffic rules. I decided to reward you with10,000 yen. ?

? Great, I happen to use this money to test my driver's license. ? Prison temple said.

? What? You don't have a driver's license? The policeman said in surprise.

Ah Gang quickly said:? Don't listen to him, all he says is drunken talk. ?

What? Have you been drinking? ! ? The police were even more surprised.

Ping immediately accused:? Extreme! I told you, you can't drive a stolen car too fast. ?

? Oh, my God, this car was stolen? The policeman exclaimed.

Yamamoto, who has been sleeping in the back seat, was awakened. He asked aloud in a daze. What, are you at the border?

12. A gang was bullied by several gangsters near Hesheng for a long time before it was reborn. On this day, A Gang was stopped by one of them. A gang finally took out his mobile phone and said, You don't have eyes, do you? Now I can call someone to take care of you! ? The gangster said contemptuously, I don't believe you can recruit anyone! Ok, I'll wait for you here for ten minutes, and I'll see what you can do! ! ? Ah Gang turned and walked away, talking on his cell phone while walking. Ten minutes later, the school broadcast called the name of the punk several times and said, you have a visitor. Now you are waiting at the school gate for a punk to pass by, thinking: Is it stupid that he really knows someone? Then a waiter-like man stopped him: Excuse me, are you Mr. XXX? He replied:? Yes ? Attendant:? Here are 30 pizzas, 50 snacks and 10 cases of coke you ordered? * * * Seventy-eight thousand yen. ?