Who has a cold joke to borrow?

1. A couple went to double suicide together, but their money was only enough to buy a bottle of pesticide, and the amount of this bottle of pesticide was only enough for one person to die, but in the end both of them died. Why? They bought this bottle of pesticide and opened the bottle cap, which read: Another bottle.

2. Once upon a time, there was a monster named six-eyed flying fish in the valley. Every day it runs out of the valley to eat the villagers. The villagers are in pain. I learned that only a warrior named Love can kill the six-eyed flying fish, so I asked for help. The samurai said, I can't kill it now. The villagers asked why, and the samurai said I needed a knife called courage. Do you know why? Because love ... takes courage. ..........

3. Question: Do you know who the legend is for? A: Nezha, because I miss you in your mind.

4. The Chinese composition of the college entrance examination in Hunan Province is "early" this year. Everyone came out of the examination room and talked about it. Suddenly, a man exclaimed, "Early? Isn't it drought? "

5. The college entrance examination is coming soon. The children's shoes you are about to take the college entrance examination have already passed. Takeshi Kaneshiro and Lin Chi-ling are yours. Don't be afraid if you fail the exam. Sam and Xifeng are waiting for you downstairs. Finally, cold coating will cheer you on the sidelines and shout for cooling down!

6. Wukong drew a circle, and Tang Priest was safe; Xiaoping drew a circle and Shenzhen became rich. You drew a circle, so you wet the bed. Haha, I wish you all a happy Children's Day!

7. The real reason why Yang Guo jumped off a cliff-his father is Kang.

8. We Chinese people are a wise people. For example, in order to solve the problem of traffic congestion, we invented the method of off-peak commuting. For example, in order to solve the problem of high housing prices, we invented the method of buying a house at the wrong peak. Specifically, some people buy in this life and some people buy in the next life.

9. Q: Why didn't Tang Priest change his clothes for so many years? Answer: Brother Tang is worried that the monster won't recognize him if he changes his clothes.

10. Every time Lyu3 bu4 and The Story Of Diu Sim fall in love, The Story Of Diu Sim is always feminine and tunnel: "No ..." Lyu3 bu4 suddenly became discouraged. Why does The Story Of Diu Sim always say "No"? Lu Bu asked Zhuge Liang, and Zhuge Liang hit the nail on the head: Your name is Lu Bu!

1 1. Grandpa ate an egg without yolk on his birthday. I am very happy. Why? -answer: because long live the yellow!

12. Today, I saw a crab in the seafood shop next to Taiji, trying to climb from the box with the price of 18.99 to the box with the price of 29.99, regardless of the fact that it was tied! I stopped and stared for a long time, and my face was covered with cows. .....

13. A psychiatrist is treating a child with psychological abnormality.

One day, the child cried and said, "I want to eat earthworms!" " "

The doctor listened and said, "Why do you want to eat earthworms?"

The child said, "Because it's noodles."

In order to find out the cause of the child's mental abnormality, the doctor asked the nurse to dig up two earthworms from the garden. The doctor said, "Earthworms are coming! You eat! "

The child said, "No! I want to fry! "

The doctor thought, "This child is so strange!"

In order to find out the reason of his psychological deviation, he called the nurse to fry the earthworm. After frying, the doctor took the plate and gave it to the child. The doctor said, "Come on, eat!" "

The child said, "I just want to eat one and give the other to the doctor!" " "

The doctor thought, "Who cares? Let's trick him into eating first."

At this time, the child went on to say, "The doctor must eat first, and I will eat!" " "

Now, the doctor's head is very big ... In order to treat the child, the doctor had to bite the bullet and eat one of the earthworms!

Suddenly, the child began to cry and said, "You ate the earthworm I want to eat, and I don't want to eat it!" " "

14. A friend of mine said that a friend who doesn't know English just arrived in Toronto, went out alone and got lost. Call him. He said it's okay. You spell the name of the road you want to S-T-O-P for me, and his friend spells "S-T–O–P" letter by letter.

15. Happiness depends on spelling, so you must use pinyin input method when typing.

16. Question: Which is the fruit with the highest temperature, apple, pear, banana or pitaya? Answer: pears, because (pears) are hot.

17. The law stipulates that men can only get married at the age of 23, but 18 can be a soldier. This illustrates three problems: first, it is easier to kill than to be a husband; Second, it is more difficult to live than to fight; Third, women are more difficult to deal with than enemies.

18. A buddy of Beihang University said: I am calm, and the school is calmer than me. I am calm because I am not afraid of death, and the school is calmer than me because the school is not afraid of death. ...

19.5 children share a piece of cake, and only three pieces are allowed. How can we split it equally? Answer: Cut a child to death with one knife, and then cut the cake into four parts with two knives. ...