Jokes with typos (many)

The last physics exam was clearly "ultrasonic", but someone wrote "Super Life Broadcast". Some students love to write typos and always write rest as drinking. In his diary, he wrote, "The squad leader instructed us to carry shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to take a sip." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back. On New Year's Day, my family went to the History Museum to visit the "ice toilet" ... Teacher's comment: Is there such a thing? I'm going too! Terracotta Warriors and Horses. After getting up in the morning, we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting to attend the graduation ceremony. Teacher's comment: I don't know which funeral home is your home? The teacher has never known ... (appearance). Last night, my left eyelid kept jumping, and I thought it was a "bra". Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today. Teacher's comment: Are you so old, son? The newspaper said that oysters polluted by heavy metals can "cure" cancer ... Teacher's comment: the difference between words makes people turn over! Should I raise oysters quickly? Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant to eat, and ordered two hamburgers and "chicken excrement" ... Teacher's comment: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (A chicken nugget). When I went shopping on Sunday, I accidentally got caught in my anus in a hurry. What bad luck. Teacher's comment: The teacher is curious-whose anus is so big ...? (steel gate). After visiting the flower market, I bought a "bargain" and prepared to take it home for the New Year. Teacher's comment: If you read it correctly, gladiolus will cry ... My history teacher is short, with long hair and bad temper, and a little "chest" ... Teacher's comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you, "Keep my skin tight in history class. I think I am a good student with worries about my studies ... Teacher's comment: You should worry about failure. (excellent). On the bumpy road of life, we should stick to our own direction ... Teacher's comment: This road can become the ninth miracle after eight wonders of the world relayed the Terracotta Warriors. There was a foreigner who stayed in China for some time and thought his Chinese was good. One day, he went shopping alone without an interpreter. After a day of shopping, I returned to the hotel and said to the translator, "You China people are so confident." The translator asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "Every few blocks, I can see some big names that say, China is good, China is good for business, China is good for agriculture, China is good for architecture, China is good for transportation, and China people are good. "Looking at the vegetable market: the big flat fish is written as a shit fish ★ My inner feeling in this class is" Lenovo language, green (light) essay, swallow! "Teacher Tang asked him who he was, and we all settled down (silently). As soon as the party teacher entered the classroom, he greeted loudly: You have suffered. ★ The students bowed respectfully when they saw Confucius. ★ Today, Confucius is not only not old, but also healthy and his face is still red. ★ The manager of the ticket commemorative tube came into the classroom with a toolbox in his hand and a smile on his face. ★ Cigarette cases, handkerchiefs, etc. These items are floats (tickets) at the entrance of the museum. Once, an old lady wanted to take the train, but she lost her ticket. ★ In the sky, white clouds are floating around. The teacher showed the tickets to everyone, and the students were anxious like ants on hot bricks. Speaking of the ancient canal, I think that many fishermen used to fish and transport goods on the canal. ★ One ticket is the Eiffel Tower in France, and the other is the American City Cat Building. If you accept money from the bad guys, even if you are lucky, it will bring trouble to your life. ★ When school started, the headmaster borrowed (commented on) several of our teachers and gave Mr. Tang a push. ★ Lotus (snowflake) blooms slowly in the snow, and several plants are beating me quietly. How cool! Now that I am so old, I should have left without saying goodbye to all the interesting things when I was a child. ★ Some people don't take an umbrella when it rains, and it's hard to think of stupid treatment when they catch a cold! Eight cows are busy (hooligans) and only one chairman protects them. I (God) had a heavy rain the other day. There was a man who committed a crime, but the governor sheltered him. This is called an umbrella. There is a student who can't write a home letter without studying hard, so: Dad, grandma (mom) please: Have you had enough dogs at home? Is there any wire (money) at home? My thread (money) is gone, it rains here, and I have no life (umbrella). You need money to buy my life urgently. It's over. The most famous "king of typos" is naturally the current US President George W. Bush. Last June165438+1October, when George H.W. Bush visited Britain, the British police fully escorted him. After returning to the United States, Bush sent a thank-you letter to the British police. In the letter, the letter "M" was omitted from the word Commissioner, the supreme leader of the police department. After this incident was disclosed by the British media, Britons who thought they were very educated laughed at Bush as a "white-word president". Amei, the cleaner in our unit, is smart and diligent, but she has only a third-grade education and often writes some typos. That day, during the unit health inspection, Ah Mui mopped the floor of the clinic clean. Because she was worried that others would get dirty when they went in, she wrote a note and posted it at the door: Please don't let idle people in. I'm clean, Mei. 3. Once upon a time, a young man liked a girl and wrote her a love letter. But because the young man was careless, he accidentally wrote "dear girl" as "dear aunt". After reading it, the girl was very angry and wrote back saying: If the girl becomes an aunt, your eyes will be blind. If I marry you, my family will die very ugly. After receiving the reply, my young man will still be unwilling. She wrote back: mom is mom, mom and girls are good, but aunt is not bad. I found a lot of funny things because I used purple pinyin input. You can have a lot of fun out of thin air. For example, once, someone was chatting and singing in a voice chat room. I typed very sincerely and quickly, using my typing speed of at least 80 words a minute. Wow. . Wow. . . Does your moan sound good? Huh? What groan? Where is the groan? Okay, that. . . % (※%)% ... (× ... Oh, my God, no, your voice is beautiful. -Comrade, don't talk nonsense and be careful not to say ambiguous words. Also, someone once asked to sing, but it was bewitched for a long time before it finally started. Ah. . Ah. . . I finally decided to devote myself to it for the first time! Dedication? Dedicated to me? It's terrible. This is not true, is it? Who dares to take it with your scary face? Besides, is this your first time? However, don't hurt the self-esteem of good people so much. . . Even if. . . But ... . It's actually wrong, but I'm finally going to show up! -Don't you always show up? Where did you go diving? I've seen tens of thousands of photos. Stop pretending to be a lady. Wrong, wrong, I finally made a sound! Ugly, but finally provided! There is also a netizen whose original ID is melancholy prince, which is a troublesome word! Every time we type, we jump out of squid directly, a very popular word, so we call it squid directly. Thus, the old squid was born. And that good husband was basically beaten into a laborer. This word is really appropriate. Moreover, the labor husband is really "beaten". How can he become a laborer without fighting? How can he be a housewife?