Sister-in-law begged me to help take care of her little nephew, but she talked about me behind my back. What should I do?

Lead: Being a good person outside and losing his temper at home may be understood as follows: from his own point of view, he needs praise, recognition and recognition. So being a good person outside is to gain the support and recognition of outsiders. Just like a woman who lost her husband in her early thirties, she must feel weak and helpless, so she can only' be a good child' to gain the attention, support and recognition of outsiders. Note that if it goes well, you can certainly get some happiness and satisfaction, but behind it, it is based on fear, loneliness and weakness. Therefore, this is not what most people understand as' like this', but more like a helpless move. When you get home, you will be' angry', complaining about the uselessness of your family and letting yourself curry favor with others. Indeed, he is angry at home, which makes sense, because he is trying to maintain it outside,' Isn't it just for home? ! In fact, I was injured outside, but I still insisted on smiling, for some benefit (such as support, sympathy, help, recognition, etc.). ). When I got home, my family was actually a' beneficiary'. The subtext was:' I suffered so much injustice outside, not just to worry about you? ! Therefore, it is "natural" to get angry with these parasites, dependent people and people who can't help.

Oh? At that time, I was unconvinced and felt that I had been wronged and misunderstood, so I had to' prove' it to them. There are great efforts, but also a lot of grievances and anger. It would be nice if we finally got' compensatory recognition and praise'. But if it is insufficient, there will be destructive impulses. Oh? I want to mention here that it seems that praise and recognition are not enough, and that kind of comfort and comfort is still necessary. What is the difference? Let's give another example, which may show that if someone insults your incompetence (for something), you are not convinced and finally hit him. He gave up. But it doesn't completely compensate you. It is best for the other party to appease you, apologize to you and be good to you. If you just beat him, he will give up and run away. Then you may fall into a fault. I will often humiliate others in the future (about this). And if the person you defeated apologizes to you, comforts you and lets you resolve' resentment and hatred', you will understand that the other person is harmless. You have no hatred.

I come from the countryside and have a two-year-old brother at home. I was born in poverty, and my brother got good grades. After graduating from junior high school, I went out to work to earn money for my brother to go to college. After graduating from college, my brother went to work in the city and married his daughter-in-law. But because he just graduated not long ago, his elder brother and sister-in-law have little savings and haven't bought a house yet.

My brother and I got married in the same year. My husband is from the village next door. His family is poor, but he is honest and willing to suffer. I believe our life will get better and better. My mother-in-law died a few years ago, and my father-in-law lives alone in his hometown. After we got married, we rented a single room in the city and found a job in the factory together.

At the beginning of this year, my sister-in-law and I checked out pregnancy almost at the same time. After pregnancy, my sister-in-law resigned and went back to her hometown in the country because of physical discomfort, and was taken care of by my mother. In order to save more money, I have been working until more than a month before the due date. Because my husband's father-in-law is the only one in my hometown, it is not convenient for him to take care of me. After discussing with my mother, I went back to my mother's house, and my mother took care of my confinement.

A month later, the child was born at term, and it was a girl. Give birth naturally and go home on the third day after delivery. My mother is in charge of my delivery. Fortunately, my sister-in-law was not born for a month, otherwise my mother was really tired to take care of us both by herself. It may be that she is in good health and has suffered a lot since she was a child, so she has never suffered any sin in giving birth to a child, and her daughter often can't finish eating milk.

Sister-in-law is not so lucky. She had a great reaction during pregnancy, poor appetite and severe morning sickness. When I was born, my sister-in-law just gave birth to a baby and gave birth to a son by caesarean section. After the baby is born, my sister-in-law has no milk and can only drink milk powder, but she drinks two cups every time. It seems that she doesn't like it very much. A week later, my sister-in-law went home from the hospital. I was already out of the month, and I took care of the children myself, so my mother could concentrate on serving my sister-in-law for confinement.

That day, my sister-in-law called me to her room and gave me an envelope, saying that there was 10 thousand yuan in it for me to accept. My sister-in-law told me that because she had no milk, my nephew didn't drink milk powder very much. She thought I had enough milk and asked me to help her feed her nephew for a while. I feel embarrassed after listening to it. It's not that I don't want to help. It's just that my nephew is not my own after all. I feel a little embarrassed. My sister-in-law begged my permission again and again, but I refused to accept money. My sister-in-law said that my brother asked her to give it to my daughter, but I didn't shirk it, thinking about what gift to give my nephew in the future.

I was a little embarrassed when I first fed my little nephew, but I recovered after several times. I am also very happy to see the little guy eating so happily. After half a month, my nephew is obviously much better than before, and my nephew has always said that this is my credit. One day I took a nap and heard my sister-in-law and my mother chatting in the living room. My mother amused my little nephew, saying that thanks to my aunt, my little nephew can grow so solidly. Then my sister-in-law said, "Yes, his aunt really contributed. But mom, you didn't say so well. My sister-in-law is willing to support Duoduo (nephew's nickname), not only because I gave her 10,000 yuan. She charges, which is my son's wet nurse. Can she not feed it? "

I was shocked to hear my sister-in-law say this. I didn't expect my sister-in-law to say that behind my back. I really want to rush out and throw her ten thousand dollars. Now that she said so, I don't want to feed my little nephew. But this is my brother's child after all. If I do this, I will hurt the goodwill of my family. I really don't know what to do.

After staying in the society for a long time, some things are gradually understood without teaching: when you are tired, many people will tell you not to do it when you are tired. Can I give you money? When you are sick, many people will say to you, take some medicine, but does anyone really buy medicine for you? When you say that your mobile phone doesn't work, many people will tell you that it doesn't work, just change it, but can someone really give it back to you? When you are in trouble, many people will say nothing, but how many people can really help you?

Don't just listen when you are alive, you should see how to do it, and you should distinguish it with your eyes and heart.

The world is never short of something to see. Work hard, no one can give you the life you want without hard work! !

This society, don't test others. If you test them, you will know what the whole play is! !

Don't tempt people, it will let you down. Listen to some words, don't take them seriously; Just know something, don't say anything; Some people just see it clearly and don't debunk it; Some feelings are just fate, don't be persistent. Love without love is treated safely. I know who is good and who is bad.

When something has passed, you will understand that in this world, you are you, you hurt yourself, you are tired, you are tired, even if someone sympathizes with you, so what? In the end, it is up to you to clean up the mess. Remember: there are some people you can expect, but you can't rely on them! Always tell yourself to work hard and be strong! It's raining, the ground is slippery, you slip and climb, everyone has to walk by themselves, and only you know whether you are tired or not. Everyone should wipe their own tears! No one can replace yourself! !

At first we came to this world because we had to come; We finally left this world because we had to leave. In the middle of this process, live as you please!

People's life is hard, ups and downs, pessimistic and world-weary. We should all live well and live the life we want in our lifetime.