Bilingual humorous English jokes

1. It is said that on a certain day in a certain year, three archers gathered together to compare arrows and aimed at the apples on the servant's head ten feet away.

The archer picked up his bow and whistled a long shot. The sharp arrow hit the apple. A proudly raised his chin, gave a thumbs-up and said, "I'm Hou Yi! 」

Archer b shot the apple according to the script, and this time he shouted arrogantly, "I am Cupid!" 」

It's C's turn, and he also bows and arrows! This result is exactly what the servant wants. It took him a long time to stammer out a sentence: "I ... I ... I ... am; Amplitude modulation (Amplitude modulation) ... Sorry ... "

Jodie's note: It's more interesting to say sorry with a Spanish accent here.

Yesterday, a foreigner walked into the office. The receptionist looked around. Everyone is playing games. Only when they are at leisure do they smile: "Hello?"

Foreigner: "Hi."

Receptionist: "What can I do for you?" what can I do for you? )

Foreigner: "Can you speak English?" Do you speak English?

Receptionist: "If I don't speak English, what am I talking about?" If I can't say it, what am I saying now?

Foreigner: "Can anyone speak English?" Can anyone else speak English? )

Receptionist: "Look for yourself. Everyone is playing, no one has time, you can wait, you wait, you don't wait, you go. " Find it yourself. Everyone is playing and busy. You are willing to wait, but you don't want to leave. )

Foreigner: I want to ask about online shopping.

Receptionist: Online shopping? Is to use online shopping, you know? (online shopping? Just shopping online, you know? )

Foreigner:. . . . .

Receptionist: Can you Baidu? Number one? ! ! Can I go to Baidu? Shangpin leader?

Foreigner:. . . . "Oh my god. Does anyone here speak English? " God, does anyone here speak English? I want to talk to your boss. "(I want to talk to your leader)

Receptionist: "My head is absent-minded. Come tomorrow. "(The boss is not here, please come back tomorrow)

3. Bad News and Good News Good News and Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone was interested in the paintings he was showing.

An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone had been interested in his paintings recently.

"I have good news and bad news," the boss replied.

? There is good news and bad news. The boss replied.

"The good news is that a gentleman asked about your work and wanted to know whether it would appreciate after your death.

? The good news is that a gentleman asked about your works, and he wanted to know whether your paintings would appreciate after your death.

When I told him I would, he bought all your 15 paintings.

I told him that your paintings would appreciate, so he bought all your 15 paintings. ?

"That's great!" The artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?"

? Isn't that great? The artist smiles. What is the bad news?

With concern, the gallery owner replied, "That guy is your doctor."

The gallery owner replied in a caring tone: is the person who bought this painting your doctor? .

4. A letter from my daughter

Joan and her neighbors are talking about their daughter. Joan says, my daughter is in college.

She? "Very bright, you know. Every time we receive a letter from her, we have to look it up in the dictionary.

Her neighbor says you are lucky. Every time we hear from our daughter, we go to the bank.

Joan chatted with her neighbors and talked about their daughter; Joan said that my daughter is in college. She's smart, you know. Every time we receive a letter from her, we look it up in the dictionary.

Her neighbor said, you are so lucky! Every time we receive a letter from our daughter, we will go to the bank.

A new mother took her little daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

A young mother took her little daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

She dressed her in pink from head to toe.

She dressed the baby in pink from head to toe.

In the shop, she put her in the shopping cart and put her shopping around her.

In the shopping mall, she put the little girl in the shopping cart and pushed everything she bought to her children.

At the checkout, a little boy and his mother lined up in front of them.

A little boy and his mother were in front of them when they lined up at the checkout counter.

The child cried and begged for some special hospitality.

The little boy is crying, as if he wants something from his mother, the young mother thinks.

She thought that he wanted some candy or chewing gum, but his mother wouldn't let him eat it.

The child must have asked for something like candy or chewing gum, but his mother didn't give it to him, so he made a scene.

Then she heard his mother's answer.

However, at this time, she heard the boy's mother answer:

"no!" She said, looking at her direction.

? No? Look at her direction,

"You may not have a little sister today. That lady got the last one. "

? I can't buy a little sister today. That lady bought the last one! ?

?

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Mike: Mom, I want to watch TV.

Mom: There is no electricity tonight.

Mike: Then let's wear candy and watch TV.

Mike: Mom, I want to watch TV.

Mom: The power went out tonight.

Mike: Then let's light candles.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

? What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?

? I gave it to a poor old woman. He replied. ? You are a good boy, aren't you? Mom said proudly. ? Here's another two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady?

? She sells candy. ?

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Pang Da & Bodney Co.

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Who can tell us which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I don't know, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Then please tell us.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.

9. A dog can play the piano.

A man walks into a bar with a puppy. The bartender said, "Take the dog and get out of here!" "

The man said, "but this is no ordinary dog ... this dog can play the piano!" "

The bartender replied, "well, if he can play the piano, you can both stay ... and have a drink for free!" "

So the man sat the dog on the piano stool and the dog began to play.

Mozart's ragtime ... The bartender and customers are enjoying the music.

Suddenly, a big dog ran in, grabbed the puppy by the back of the neck and dragged it out.

The bartender asked the man, "What's going on?"

The man replied, "Oh, that's his mother. She wants him to be a doctor. "

A man walks into a bar with his dog.

The bartender said to him, dogs are not allowed here. Please leave! ?

The man said to the waiter, this is no ordinary dog, but it can play the piano! ?

The waiter replied,? Well, if it can really play the piano, you can have a free drink here! ?

The man put the dog on the piano stool where he sat, and the dog began to play, first ragtime music, then Mozart, which was very appreciated by other waiters and customers.

Suddenly, a bigger dog ran in, grabbed the puppy by the neck and dragged it out.

The bartender asked the man, what is that?

The man replied,? Oh, that's its mother. She doesn't want her son to play music, but wants to be a doctor. ?

Teacher: If Shakespeare were still alive, would he be a great man?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, because so far no one has lived to be over 400 years old.

Teacher: If Shakespeare were still alive, would he be a great man?

Student: Of course. Because so far, no one has lived to be over 400 years old.

Mr Smith: Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know-it was the high temperature that killed it.

Mr Smith: Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup.

Attendant: Yes, sir, I see. It was scalded to death.

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, don't you think you've grown up and shouldn't always ask for dimes?

Son: I think you're right, Dad. Give me a dollar, will you?

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, you don't think you've grown up and shouldn't ask for another dime, do you?

Son: Dad, I think you are right. Can I have a dollar?

More related articles:

1.20 translated English jokes

English jokes are funny.

3. English humorous jokes

4. Recommend humorous English jokes

5. Super classic English jokes

6. Humorous English jokes

7. English humorous jokes

8. Complete works of English humorous jokes

9. English humorous jokes

10. Translation is a short encyclopedia of English jokes.

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