Ask for a sketch or drama suitable for five or six children.

Time: 199s

Location: Feng Jingyao's home

Character: Xu Wenqiang Feng Jingyao A Gui Feng Chengcheng A Fei A Qi

Character modeling: Xu Wenqiang: authentic Chow Yun Fat version

Feng Jingyao: pajamas casual version

Feng Chengcheng: ugly flower version

A Gui: normal housekeeper. Narrator:

Xu Wenqiang: gender: male nationality: Han date of birth: unknown age: unknown hobby: eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, smoking specialty: modeling

Education: graduated from Tsinghua University, studied at Peking University, studied at Harvard and studied at Oxford!

This person keeps a low profile and never talks about these things!

Feng Jingyao: gender: male nationality: Huckel's date of birth: unknown age: unknown hobby: cheating and stealing specialties: the whole thing!

Education: I graduated from Orphans College, studied in a private university high school, and didn't finish college!

this person likes to talk about these immature things for showing off! Thick-skinned thief steel needle can't penetrate! ! !

Feng Chengcheng: Feng Jing wants Yao's daughter. According to Xinhua News Agency, news broadcast, paparazzi exposure and other major media reports, she once had an affair with Xu Wenqiang. Now their relationship is at a low ebb. Other information is unknown! ! !

punk Archie: Xu Wenqiang's bodyguard. Other information is unknown!

A Gui: Feng Jingyao's housekeeper, nicknamed "the ghost who never dies", is sinister and cunning! ! ! The only advantage is that I am sincere to my master, so that he never defecates when urinating. This is how appendicitis is suppressed! ! !

(Music: Huo Yuanjia at the beginning > End

Content:

(Feng Jingyao, wearing pajamas, sitting on his sofa, smoking a pipe)

Feng: Ghost, ghost, immortal ghost! ! !

a ghost: what's your order?

feng: beat my legs. The calf! ! !

A Gui: Sir, it's really admirable that you are still struggling in the Jianghu at your age!

feng: hey, can't you spell it? Life is a fight, ghost! ! !

A Gui: Yes, yes, but then again, if you hadn't made Xu Wenqiang, would someone have shared it for you?

feng: don't mention him to me! I'll be furious if I mention him! Getting rid of him is the most definite thing I have done in my life! I think I could have made this step if he hadn't eaten what was in the bowl and looked at what was in the pot ! He didn't give me face, just used my face as an insole! When he used my face as an insole, he just didn't give the whole Shanghainese face! If you don't give the Shanghainese face, then I have to kill him! I'm uncomfortable if I can't kill him, and I'm uncomfortable if I'm uncomfortable! Look at my white hair, it's all his fault, ghost! What's more hateful is that he is still hitting on my daughter, so I have to kill him!

A Gui: Yes, yes, yes ... Your white hair. I will take you to the gangue to save Jing Qi from the locust. . ? br> Xu: (behind the scenes) Still a fart! ! ! {(Music < Shanghai Beach >) Xu pushed through the door, and Archie moved a chair to Xu Wenqiang. Xu took off his courtesy, and A Fei took it over. Archie took off his trench coat for Xu, and a Chow Yun Fat version of Xu Wenqiang was presented to the audience }

{ Feng and the housekeeper were so scared that Feng slowly walked up to Xu and took off Xu's sunglasses }

Xu: Mr. Feng was different! ! !

feng: Wen ~ Wen ~ Wen Qiang ~ What are you doing here?

Xu: I came straight to your house as soon as I got off the train. Do you know why? (Feng wants to open his mouth) You don't know! Because I haven't seen you for two years! Do you understand why? (Feng wants to open his mouth) You don't understand! Because I haven't been in Shanghai for two years! Do you know why? (Feng wants to open his mouth) You don't understand! But I came back today. Do you understand the reason? (Feng wants to open his mouth) You don't understand!

Feng: Wen Qiang, let me say something (this sketch script comes from www.pangdan.com, the comic book of Fat Egg Sketches). (Xu reaches out to explain) What have you been doing outside these two years?

Xu: I can't remember the first few snows in the 199s, but the only thing I can remember is that I spent two hard years in Hangzhou Entertainment City, washing dishes and serving dishes, and I was proficient in everything! Let me experience the life of an inferior person! You forced it all! But I want to thank you! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive now!

feng: huh?

Xu: I can't believe it. It was your sworn enemy, Lei Laohu, who saved me and made me put up with his arrogance for two years. He loves my ears all day, and his mother-in-law is like a fly. Oh, no! It was a swarm of flies buzzing, and I finally couldn't stand it, so I found a chance to kill him! ! !

feng:?

ghost: what? Lei Laohu saved your life and you killed him? ! !

Xu: Hum! He beats me every day, and he just looks down on me! Look down on me just don't give me face! Not giving me face is using my face as an insole! He used my face as an insole, and I had to kill him! I'm not comfortable without killing him! I can't sleep well if I'm uncomfortable! I get acne if I can't sleep well! ! ! What's more, he hit me on the head! ! ! Then I have to kill him even more! ! !

A Gui: (whispering) Why does this sound so familiar to Master?

feng: he stole my lines! ! !

(Xu sits down and the bodyguard hands out a cigarette to light the fire)

Feng: Wen Qiang, what's the main purpose of your coming back this time?

Xu: Kill all the people like Lei Laohu! ! !

feng: (cigarette bag drops)

a ghost: master, do your best! ! ! (Feng gestures)

Feng: Haha, Wen Qiang, I haven't seen you for two years. I miss you very much. I'll give you a gift. You must like it very much!

Xu: (putting out the cigarette in punk's hand, punk shakes with pain) You gave me a present. It's true that the sun rises in the west and the moon sets in the east! Old sows can climb trees! ! ! ! (Music < Shanghai Beach >)

Feng Chengcheng: Strong! (the second generation of super ugly girls appeared)

Xu: Cheng!

(Cheng ran to Xu and hugged him desperately, making a painful expression, but he couldn't push it away)

Xu: My Cheng Er, almost got it!

cheng: Qiang, this is a scarf I knitted for you in the past two years (take out a roll of toilet paper and wrap it around Xu's neck). I already know about you and my father. One is my lover, and the other is my biological father. I don't want to see you two torn together. You can't beat my dad, so go!

Xu: cheng! Don't you love me anymore? Do you really not love me? If I have to kill your dad! Are you going to kill me again? ! ! ! !

cheng: yes! I will!

Xu: (sad) ok! (take out the gun, the legendary box cannon, and kill Cheng)

(take off the scarf-toilet paper and tear it in half) Teddy boy! Save it!

punk Archie: Brother Xie Qiang!

Xu: I can't let such a well-fed woman ruin my lifelong career! ! ! Drag it down! (teddy boy and Archie drag Cheng down)

{ Feng Jingyao and Ghost are dumbfounded when they see this scene! }

Feng: Wen Qiang! ! ! You just killed my ghost girl! Don't give me any face, will you? I used to lose face, but now it's your turn to lose face! You procrastinate, you procrastinate! Not even a newspaper! Do you give me some face by putting a newspaper on it? Damn it! My cerebral thrombosis ~~

A Gui: (picks up his pipe), Sir, have a cigarette!

feng: I smoke a fart pipe, and I still smoke a pipe. Why is my heart so big? ! (Throwing a cigarette bag) My daughter is gone and I still smoke a cigarette bag! ! !

Xu: Mr. Feng, I always respect the old and love the young, and I don't want to do things too well! Oh, by the way, Mr. Feng, can I call you Xiao Feng if you don't mind?

feng: (coughing) ~ no, call me Charlie feng!

Xu: ok! Mr. Charlie Feng! (to the audience) How disgusting it is to rely on names! I have an idea. I wonder if you agree with Mr. Charlie Feng!

feng: tell me ~ tell me!

Xu: Give me 9% of your company's total profit, and I'll save the remaining 1% for you to take out and repair your brain when you have cerebral thrombosis!

feng: (excited) I rely on you to treat me as a low-capable person! Then I don't have nothing. In that case, you might as well give me two little pigs to go home and raise!

Xu: ha! Ask me for a piggy? ! Did you give me two little pigs to go home and raise when you drove me out of Shanghai? ! ! ! Ask me for a piggy? ! ! You gave me a bullet! It's no use letting you talk, you're a top two! ! Do you agree or agree or agree! ! !

feng: I ~ I disagree!

ghost: I strongly disagree! !

Xu: I don't agree! Ok! (gesturing, the bodyguard puts Ghost on the ground)

Ghost: Help me, my Lord (the bodyguard kills Ghost)

Feng: Ghost. I'M SORRY, it's not that I don't save you I can't even protect myself, ghost-

Xu: drag on! Wait (Feng looks up, thinking that Xu's heart has softened). Put on a newspaper! (Feng dizzy) Mr. Feng, you also saw that everyone around you let me drag them down one by one, and there was just a newspaper left on the table! I think you must want to use it for someone, ok! I won't say more!

feng: wait! I killed myself! Wen Qiang, you don't have to stop me. Wen Qiang, you really don't have to stop me! It's not Wen Qiang. What's wrong with you stopping me? ! !

Xu: damn it! Let you talk about everything. You're a top two! ! ! Give it to me (the bodyguard goes up and puts Feng down to the ground)

Feng: No! Brother Qiang! I don't want a pig from you, give me a break! I'll give you all my profits ~ ~ ~ (Xu wiped Feng's neck with a dagger)

Xu: Drag it down! ! ! (Bodyguards drag Feng down)

{ Xu stays alone in Feng's room} (Music < Shanghai Beach >)

[ Xu starts to stir up feelings, patrol the room with the music, put on a windbreaker, bring politeness, light a cigarette, and turn around and walk out of the room ]