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I need an English joke urgently, two minutes, thank you.
Judges and thieves
It was Christmas, and the judge happily asked the prisoner:
"What's your charge?"
"I went shopping for Christmas presents earlier this year," shouted the prisoner.
"There is nothing wrong with this," said the judge. "How early do you go shopping?"
"Before the store opens," the prisoner replied.
When Christmas arrived, the judge happily asked the prisoner:
"What did you do?"
"I went shopping early this Christmas." The prisoner replied.
"This is not a bad thing," said the judge. "How long ago?"
"Before the store opens." The prisoner replied.
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