Who will listen to this funny joke?

1. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?", the uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can I give it to you?" "Auntie, leave a pair of underwear?" 2. Wife's Quotes: You are allowed to get drunk and you are allowed to hook up with girls, but you must return to my team at night. If you dare to break my heart or hurt my lungs, I will definitely take your third leg. Beat the cripple and let your bird sleep forever. 3. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatballzi said shyly: "I hate it. You won't recognize me when I take off my clothes!" 4. Two old couples had a sudden idea while having dinner one day: eat naked! Find the feeling you had before! After taking off her clothes, the old woman said: I still have a reaction! The breasts are still as hot as when they were young! The old man glanced sideways and said, "It drooped into the soup!" 5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don’t step on a mouse for a whole day and itches my feet; C: I don’t feel safe on the street only a few times a day; D: It’s getting late, go back Go home and hug the cat. 6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of what a man says is true; love is eternal, blood is bright red, and a man cannot survive without fighting; if a man is rich, he is destined to be with everyone. , men can be relied upon, pigs can climb trees. 7. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but was shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, little boy, still Damn it! 8. A child stole a parrot raised in a brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot screamed: Moving! When he saw his mother, he yelled again: The boss has changed too! When he saw his sister, he shouted again: "The lady has changed too!" When he saw his father, he yelled again: We are still a regular customer! 9. Life is a long road, who can take a few steps! The family needs to be taken care of, and the lover needs to be taken care of! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a good-looking person sitting across the table, and someone I miss far away! Keep two, keep one, and develop three, four, five, six, seven! 10. A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. You said angrily: "I will do whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken." As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's butt. You fainted, the puppy said happily: Let's see who is cruel. 11. Legend has it that tonight, the ghosts are lingering, the dead light appears again, and the ghosts are wandering around! May the ghost hear my call and come to your bedside in the middle of the night, with a pale face, green eyes, and dry hands touching your face, and say to you on my behalf: Good night! 12. A man always has a smile on his face and his eyes are sparkling. He is either being mean or cheating! A woman with enlarged breasts and slim waist, who is slutty and coquettish, will either pick your pocket or put a black knife on you! These days, men, monsters, and witches, be careful! 13. You were walking on the road, and a female dog pounced on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot, and quickly swallowed it. When you stretched out your foot and was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: Go ahead, it’s in my belly anyway. I already have your flesh and blood! 14. The mouse was very depressed when he didn’t have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess after all. 15. A friend asked a bat how he could marry a mouse. The bat had tears in his eyes and said meaningfully: Alas! That day he took Viagra, which gave him strong firepower and he jumped up to the ceiling, allowing him to take over. 16. I spent a dime to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you. 17. The ant is lying lazily in the soil with one leg stretched out. Your friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: The elephant will come later, trip him up. 18. When a magpie comes, my mother says it is a happy bird and a guest; when a swallow comes, my mother says it is a beneficial bird and a guest; when a crow comes, my child asks, are you also a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker! 19. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off! 20. Cucumber cried out for love, and Eggplant comforted her: love is not only sweet and intoxicating, but also heartbreaking and tearful. well! Who made you fall in love with onions? 21. Yesterday I dreamed that God said he could grant me a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become beautiful. He thought for a moment and said, take the globe and I Look again. 22. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be abducted. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month.

The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let’s go, I don’t want the car. 23. Twenty years ago, your father held you while you waited for the car. People laughed at your child because he looked ugly, and he cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Brother, stop crying. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it has no hair left." 24. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: " "Bring me a glass of water." The pig imitated the parrot and said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw both the parrot and the pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "You are stupid, I can fly."