Find some short jokes

You can't hang yourself in love, you can't take medicine without illness or disaster, the contract is invalid, and you giggle at your mobile phone.

Today's four major soils:

Mobile phones wear condoms, pagers wear handcuffs, men wear vests and women wear bras.

Four not to be taunted:

Drink, don't eat vegetables, wear a tie and be shirtless, show your breasts, and ride a bike for 80 miles.

Four happy events in the new life:

Chatting with friends, shopping with netizens, and charging the phone bill will make you happy.

Four great sorrows in life:

After a long drought, every rain, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating gold medals, the names are repeated.

Four big shuffle when couples spend:

No one came to the party, no one called the BB machine, and the daughter-in-law refused to make trouble. If you want to cause trouble, you must wear a condom.

Four virtual:

The boss's kidney, an official's manuscript, a young lady's tears, the table of the Bureau of Statistics.

Four leisure:

Rich wives, leaders' money, laid-off workers and researchers.

Four senses:

I didn't know I was young until I got to Beijing, I didn't know I was young until I got to Shanghai, I didn't know I had less money until I got to Shenzhen, and I didn't know my wife was old until I got to the box.

Four lectures:

Speak of righteousness in the morning, loyalty at noon, luck in the afternoon and strength at night.

Four "can't say":

Bull market quilt cover, honey soaking, stolen money, Viagra is invalid.

Four bane:

Wine is poison, color is a steel knife, anger is a tiger, and money is a curse.

Four items for men:

Twenty-year-old men are futures, 30-year-old men are hot commodities, 40-year-old men are stocks, and 50-year-old men are jumping off buildings.

Men are afraid of four things:

I'm afraid my young lady will get sick, my wife will get pregnant, people will write letters, and my wife will commit suicide.

Men spend four flowers:

There are flowers outside the first-class man's house, second-class men look for flowers outside, third-class men scratch around, and fourth-class men come home from work.

Men four "sleep":

Beggars sleep quietly, sleeping with their wives is tax payment, sleeping with their lovers is tax evasion, and sleeping with their sisters-in-law is value-added sleep.

Man four ghosts:

Going home from work at night is a poor man, going home at 9 o'clock at night is an alcoholic, going home at 12 o'clock at night is a goat, and going home at 4 o'clock in the morning is a gambler.

Four wolves in the world:

Wolf Clinton, Wolf Saddam, Hungry Wolf Putin, Domestic Wolf Chen Shui-bian.

Men have four kinds of stupidity:

Go home from work, earn money by yourself, eat some lobster, and leave a phone number for the young lady.

Four age groups for men:

Twenty is Pentium, thirty is Microsoft, forty is Panasonic, and fifty is Lenovo.

The world elder brothers four iron:

One iron shares a window, two iron shares a gun, three iron shares a prostitute, and four iron shares stolen goods.

Men's four great hopes:

There is a cook at home, a good-looking one in the office, a shrew around, and a young lady in the distance.

Four wishes of men:

If you marry a wife, you should marry Xiao Zhao; If you make friends, you should be Ling Huchong; If you are a man, you'd better be Qiao Feng; If you come out, you will get Wei Xiaobao.

Men's four major helplessness:

Being with your wife is boring, finding a lady is too expensive, finding a lover is too tired, and not getting married is the most affordable.

Four ideals of women:

The man's head and shell are broken. They send me money every day and have to wait in line for me to choose. They will never grow old.

Fourth-class beauty:

First-class beauty across the ocean, second-class beauty in Shenzhen and Zhuhai, third-class beauty in Beijing and Shanghai, fourth-class beauty in the sea.

The appearance of four loves:

First love is like love at first sight, passionate love is like commitment, nostalgia is like obedience, and lovelorn love is like your east and west.

Four basic rules:

Drinking is basically based on delivery, smoking is basically based on supply, wages are basically unchanged, and wives are basically not used.

The new marriage system:

Break the wife's life tenure system, implement the aunt's shareholding system, introduce the miss contest system, and promote the lover contract system.