Are you still saying that your child is young and ignorant? Psychology: It is important for parents to establish a sense of boundaries

Xiaoli met a naughty child when she was flying. He made a lot of noise in public places. Others were ready to rest and go to sleep, but he cried so much that he insisted on staying up. He also asked his parents to tell him stories. As a result, no matter how much the parents coaxed him, the effect was not very good. The child became more and more disobedient and did not consider the feelings of the people around him. Even if his parents said: "Look now How many people are laughing at you?"

But the child who was crying and making loud noises did not feel that he had done anything wrong. He probably made more noise to achieve his own goals. When Xiaoli was about to take a rest, she also felt that her head was very big. In fact, in life, we can always encounter such a situation in public places. The naughty children from other families will always disturb them regardless of their care. into other people’s lives.

Apart from beating and scolding, parents seem to be unable to play any good role. In fact, children have such problems because their "border awareness" is too weak.

The definition of border consciousness may seem a bit complicated, and it is divided into several different levels. Based on differentiation, some relatively differentiated consciousnesses have been produced. In other words, everyone may have different views on the same things, based on their own standards and principles of autonomy and self-discipline.

Secondly, it is relative and limited, which means that there will be certain characteristics in each field, and I will take the initiative to acknowledge these characteristics, and I will better restrain myself in such a field.

The third is that there are corresponding rules in different fields. Families have rules at home, schools also have school rules, and the law has its constraints. These rules and goals are to restrict the behavior of each individual and allow them to Don't do anything out of line.

Fourth, when others do something, they all have their own boundaries. The rules must be followed. You cannot interfere in other people's lives at will, nor can you break the existing rules. .

In general, boundary awareness means that in the process of interacting with other people, you have your own clear boundaries. Others are not allowed to cross this boundary. At the same time, you have some boundaries when doing certain things. You can't touch them either. For example, you can't make loud noises in public places, but at the same time, you shouldn't disturb other people's lives.

Border consciousness contains many contents, which are mainly divided into three aspects: individual, others and society.

(1) Personal boundaries.

There are two types of individual boundaries, one is physical and the other is emotional. After children have such boundary awareness, they will form self-awareness and learn to protect their own rights. Once anyone infringes upon one's own interests, one will react accordingly.

For example, if your things are robbed by others, or if others touch your things without permission, you can resist accordingly.

(2) Boundaries of others.

Many children know how to protect their own rights and interests, but don’t know how to respect other people. When getting along with each other, if it is someone else’s private property, they must remember not to touch it casually unless the other person is with them. You take the initiative to share.

Children should be made clear about things like this. When they enter kindergarten, some children just like to touch other people's things, and even take them without permission. Such behavior is extremely wrong. You must apply for a certificate immediately.

(3) Social boundaries.

This kind of boundary may not be experienced until the children grow up, but the cultivation of this point is indeed very important, that is, the further maintenance of their status in society, including laws, rules and maintenance of corresponding order.

However, parents usually don’t seem to know much about whether their children lack boundary awareness. In fact, during the process of interaction, children will behave in certain ways. If these situations occur, it means that their children are This aspect is still lacking.

1. Will not reject others.

When some parents take care of their children, they will find that their little ones are being bullied. They will not say anything. They even do not want to lend their toys to others, but they do not know how to refuse. This shows that he does not know how to protect his own rights and interests. At this time, parents must tell them that if they do not want their own things, they must reject them.

2. Will only ask, but will not give.

Some children are very arrogant and only want to play with other people's things. They want to take them even if they are not given to them, and even bully other children. This means that they do not know how to respect other people's boundaries, which is very dangerous. . When they grow up, if they meet someone stronger than their children, their children will suffer.

3. I don’t know how to be independent.

Once some babies leave their parents, they don’t know what to do, and they hope that their parents can help them complete everything. For example, sometimes when parents want to exercise and they buy a bottle of soy sauce, the children may be very scared and lie and say there is no soy sauce when they come back. But in fact, this situation occurs because they dare not tell the truth.

If you know how to respect yourself and others, your children will become more responsible and even know when to do what. With boundaries in place, children will not overstep their bounds when doing things. moment situation.

Make better friends.

Children’s social circle is very important. Learning to think independently and respect others will naturally lead to corresponding results. Then in the process of communication, more people can be added, and even everyone can become a member of the social circle. Like friends.

With clear boundaries, children will know how to protect themselves, and even know what needs to be carefully guarded. Naturally, the results obtained through hard work will not be destroyed by others, and there will be further progress in the process of self-identification. promote.

Moreover, cultivating boundary awareness is to enable children to achieve better achievements and become a more perfect person. Everyone has wishes and ideals. If you care for them carefully and achieve your goals, you will feel great. If you achieve success, you will become more confident.

Although parents know how to build their children's border awareness, if they miss the best opportunity, it may not be particularly good for their growth. For children, the period of childhood and adolescence must be grasped. Even if rebellious behavior occurs, they must be told to establish clear boundaries. For example, when children refuse something, don't be too anxious to persuade them. For example, if the child doesn't want to brush his teeth now, then parents can say, "You don't want to brush your teeth now, so is it 10:00, or before going to bed?"

Giving children choices will help them feel more free and understand that they need to brush their teeth before going to bed. This is a clear boundary.

This is to better protect yourself. As you grow older, your self-awareness will gradually form. You must protect your mind as well as your body. If someone bullies you, your children must learn to resist. At the same time, you must respect your children, give them space and a certain right to choose, and be respected by your parents in life. You won't feel inferior in front of others.

After establishing self-boundaries, it is also necessary for children to understand other people's boundaries. If they cannot touch them, others may not like the same things. As children, they should not interfere in other people's private lives.

In the process of educating their children, parents must gradually let them have a sense of independence in their hearts, and even dare to take responsibility. They need their border awareness, and only after this is established will they have a more perfect personality. .

Many children just let others bully them because they don’t have clear boundaries and don’t know when to protect themselves and when to resist. They don’t disturb other people’s lives and won’t be bullied by others. Human intervention is the best.