I am very depressed now, and I want to laugh at a joke.

1. On the day of the Songkran Festival, everyone poured water on each other to bless them. Suddenly, someone scolded: Shit, who poured water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing. The curse said, come on, who threw boiling water at me? I waited for the bus to go to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I chased and shouted, "master, wait for me, master, wait for me!" " ...... "At this moment, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me," Wukong, stop chasing. "3. Outside the delivery room of the hospital, a group of men are waiting to be new fathers. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them, "Congratulations, your wife gave birth!" " Another man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, jumped up and shouted, "How dare you! I got there before him. Why isn't it my turn yet? "4. A man goes to the hospital for a health check-up. The nurse took the needle to draw blood for him. A armor looked at the shiny needle and couldn't help asking, "Will it hurt?" "I'm afraid of pain!" The nurse said, "Don't worry, I've been a nurse for more than 20 years ..." Someone said, "Great, I'm relieved!" Then the nurse put the needle down and only heard a scream like killing a pig. The nurse slowly connected: "It doesn't hurt." George is drinking beer alone in a self-defeating bar. He suddenly felt that he was going to the bathroom. He was afraid that someone would steal his beer after he left, so he wrote a note on the table: "I spit in the cup." When he came back, he found another sentence added to the paper: "I threw up, too." . . . 6. It's too loud. Zhuge Liang is a master of the eight eccentrics. One of his specialties is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, I call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang imitated the woodpecker and barked twice, then took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear it. " 7. There is an ugly girl who has never been married and wants to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus, and the kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, go! No car! 8. In Spring Festival travel rush, the train was so crowded that a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. When the inspector at the bottom of the car found it, he shouted, Fat man with cigar, take your head back. 9. I saw a penny on the side of the road, and I was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out that there was phlegm in the mouth. Damn it, who threw up so round? 10. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and there stood a farmer in Tanaka, with tattered clothes and dark face. He said with tears in his eyes, stealing a cabbage is worth shelling? 1 1. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! 12. The weather is hot and cold, so it's hard to calm down this season. I always miss you in the distance. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head! 13. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost! 14. A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. She didn't meet for a long time, so she asked the policeman, Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the mother toilet? 15. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered to him, "Sweetheart! ""The patient said with a smile, "Little baby." 16. An old friend lost his car. When he put the new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride! 17. The teacher asked the physical education committee to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him, "Go and clean up all the girls in the class." The Sports Commission was a little goat and asked, "Which one?" Teacher @ # ... percent sign 18. In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation, put his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……