Chinese homophonic joke! ! ! ! ! !

1) I saw a cake shop one day and asked, "Is this sold by one person?"

The clerk replied, "No, it's Japanese!"

(2) At a meeting in the village, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Everybody use a big bowl! "

(3) The leader of a certain unit loves to drink. Once he drank too much at a public banquet and got drunk on the spot. A man played a eulogy and said, "You are a great man, and your stomach has been tested by alcohol." . You are in a bad mood. You have experienced the battle of drinking (lasting) and participated in the battle of filling your stomach (defending your title), but I didn't expect that you didn't wake up as if you were dead (fortunately) after the ninth (China) alcohol and tobacco (research) conference in the wine industry.

(4) When a woman walks in the street, her posture is evil, her ass is always wriggling, and the key is hard to resist. She turned, left the woman and fell to the ground. A handsome boy walked behind, out of nature, shouting, "Aunt, you dropped your key, you dropped your key." The woman turned to scold the handsome boy: "You are going to die, you are going to die …" The handsome boy was speechless.

(5) There is a Mr. Huang whose son is called Huang Jun. He often takes the No.8 bus with his son, so there is often a funny scene: Mr. Huang takes his son to the station and sees a No.8 bus driving into the bus station in the distance. He immediately shouted to his son: "Huang Jun, run, the No.8 bus is coming!" "

(6) The leader of a certain unit loves to drink. Once he drank too much at a public banquet and got drunk on the spot. A man played a eulogy and said, "You are a great man, and your stomach has been tested by alcohol." . You are in a bad mood. You have experienced the battle of drinking (lasting) and participated in the battle of filling your stomach (defending your title), but I didn't expect that you didn't wake up as if you were dead (fortunately) after the ninth (China) alcohol and tobacco (research) conference in the wine industry.

(7) When a woman walks into the street, her posture is evil, her ass is always wriggling, and the key is hard to resist. She turned, left the woman and fell to the ground. A handsome boy walked behind and, out of nature, shouted at the demon, "Aunt, you dropped your key, you dropped your key." The woman turned to scold the handsome boy: "You are going to die, you are going to die. . . . . . "Handsome boy speechless.

(8) jokes about names

An administrative cadre named Jiang Ren of a factory in Chaoshan answered several calls and reported to the other party that "I am from Guanjiang". The other side was furious: "Who doesn't know that the cadres in the factory are in charge of the workers? You are too arrogant! Why don't you say your specific name? " Just because Jiang is homophonic with "Gong", "Ren" and "Man", he has a boring discussion.

(9) Ears are here (interesting)

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because I had to pay the bill, I said to the master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles." As soon as the master heard that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", he quickly agreed and rushed to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a smart man, you should know! " The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and gave a pair of pig ears. Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" " The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" " " "

(10) Do it when you see a chicken.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first. A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the lease of the land next year. He insisted that his hand was empty. He opened his eyes and said, "There are no three fields." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "If I don't give it to Zhang San, who will I give it to?" Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!" The landlord replied, "That sentence was nonsense (chicken talk) just now, and now this sentence is" play it by ear (chicken talk) "

(1 1) About "Opportunity"

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go by plane. Afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "There is an opportunity, do you want to seize it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was an "opportunity" to conclude the transaction and immediately called back: "Take it if you can." When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.