What should I do if I retire and become the nanny of my son's family, but I am unwilling and worried that my son is unhappy?

Retire, earn your own salary, and don't have to work with your children. What you live like depends on your own ideas and methods.

Colleagues' two sons, who have been ups and downs in administrative units for decades, are tired of the intrigue of officialdom, and their career plans are to be teachers. And clearly told his son that he must also find a teacher to find an object, because teachers have advantages in educating their children themselves; Have time to see the children; You can travel with the whole family in the winter and summer vacations. It is not appropriate to go out to play alone if it is not a teacher's uncertain holiday.

After he retired, his two sons got married and had children.

Two sons teach in two high schools, the eldest daughter-in-law teaches primary school in the city, and the prospective daughter-in-law works in the bank when the second son talks about the object.

We all think it's good to work in a bank, but my colleague clearly told my son that the prospective daughter-in-law must take this year's teacher recruitment exam, and if she fails one year, she will take the exam for two years. Daughter-in-law is also quite powerful, and she was admitted to the city experimental primary school in the first year.

Colleagues and sons and daughters-in-law instilled the idea that I should take care of it and definitely do my duty, but it is not our obligation to buy a house and look after the children.

In my opinion, he speaks very hard in front of his son and daughter-in-law, and his son and daughter-in-law are particularly filial. First, because the son is filial, the son's Excellence can balance the relationship between wife and parents; Second, she implemented the policy of "biting off the hand that feeds her daughter-in-law", instead of indulging and compromising blindly without a bottom line.

I can spoil you, but I also have my principles and my life. I will not indulge my children blindly and put all my retirement life on my children and grandchildren.

The first daughter-in-law gave birth to her first child, and the second daughter-in-law was pregnant for a big month. It happened to be winter, and the road was slippery and difficult to walk. The second son works in the county high school and can't come back at noon. Colleagues take care of two daughters-in-law respectively. During the day, my colleague's wife takes care of her daughter-in-law and children at her eldest son's house. The second son goes to work in the morning to send his daughter-in-law to school. At noon, colleagues cook dinner for his daughter-in-law, drive to school, pick her up, have a rest after lunch at noon, then send her to work, just like sending her children to school, and then pick her up at night. In this way, the shuttle bus took more than two months until the school had a winter vacation.

Colleagues and couples wait on a daughter-in-law and go back to their home at night. He said that when it hurts, it hurts, and when it's time to let go, let them not rely on us for everything.

He keeps his word, and his son and daughter-in-law feel that what their parents say is reasonable. They should have their own lives and not revolve around themselves. Now, his two grandchildren and two granddaughters go to Hainan for the winter every winter, and they don't delay traveling every year. Daughters-in-law are very filial and willing to spend money for the old couple. Marrying a daughter-in-law is equivalent to having two more daughters.

My colleague's two sons are both art teachers, and there are relatively few school courses. They all hold training classes outside and do wall painting for schools, kindergartens and other units. They belong to people who make a lot of money in obscurity.

Let's start with the eldest son:

After giving birth to the first child, the daughter-in-law's parents take care of her grandparents in the countryside, the daughter-in-law takes maternity leave, colleagues look after the children during the day and go back to their home at night, and the young couple take care of themselves.

After giving birth to a second child, my son was afraid of his mother's hard work, taking care of the older one, serving the younger one and finding a new one. Colleague's daughter-in-law is distressed by money, more than one month 10000. I want to persuade my son not to use the new moon. Colleagues told their wives to look for it at no cost to you. Besides, you can relax. Yue Yue will take better care of you.

Except for the second son:

The second daughter-in-law is an only child, and her parents are retired at home.

The second daughter-in-law gave birth to her first child, and the daughter-in-law took maternity leave for half a year. During these six months, my colleagues and wife helped to look after the children and take care of the adults. After the daughter-in-law went to work, the second son rented a house downstairs and moved to a community in her mother-in-law's house. My father-in-law and mother-in-law look after the children every day.

After giving birth to the second child, the second daughter-in-law spent the second month in her home and moved to a rental house. Most of the time, her grandparents look after the children.

During the epidemic, just four sons and daughters-in-law didn't go to work for more than half a year, and they all stayed at home. Children don't need colleagues to watch them.

The eldest son lives alone, the second son moves to a big house, and his parents-in-law live with them.

During the period when they are not allowed to go out, colleagues and couples contact their children by phone or video. Two daughters-in-law cook at home and learn to cook well. Every time they learn new tricks, they will send them to their colleagues. Fried chicken wings, egg tarts, pizza, baked cakes and biscuits. ...

Colleagues said that when the daughter-in-law brought food, she talked endlessly and urged them to go back every day. In particular, the second daughter-in-law often spits out the sons of her parents and colleagues: your parents will definitely disagree with you when they look after the children, so don't pick things up!

In July, the epidemic was not so tense and the children didn't start school. The eldest son gave his colleague 5000 yuan, saying that in recent months, he was afraid that his father would be bored at home and let the old couple travel.

Most people around me complain about being a free nanny for their children. When the children are away, I will tell them the story of this colleague.

Treat your son and daughter-in-law with a bottom line and explain it clearly to your child. If you don't let your children form the habit of relying on you at first, they won't get used to it, they will take the initiative to take responsibility, and they will appreciate your efforts.

It was my colleague who paid most of the down payment for buying a house for two sons and asked them to repay part of the loan themselves. He clearly told his son that we two sons, under this condition, will repay the loan yourself.

Before the engagement of the two daughters-in-law, my colleague led a family of four (five went to the second daughter-in-law's house, and the eldest daughter-in-law got married), bought a few bottles of wine, fruit, milk and coffee table-like gifts, and went to the in-laws' house for a face-to-face exchange, so that the other party could meet our family and discuss the details of engagement and marriage. Nor was it entangled because of the bride price and customs of both sides, and the daughter-in-law did not spend much money.

Some colleagues are just a son. After retirement, they revolve around their children and grandchildren and contract all the expenses of their children and grandchildren. They are as tired as dogs, and their sons and daughters-in-law are not satisfied. It's all tears

There are also some old people who don't care about their children and grandchildren. They have to intervene in the lives of their children and grandchildren and make them dislike themselves. They also complain that their sons and daughters-in-law are not filial. In fact, they are asking for trouble.

The key is to keep your own bottom line and have your own principles, but don't interfere with the lives of future generations and don't let them affect your own lives. The differences in life concepts and habits between the two generations, as well as the interference in private space, have become very depressed over time.

There is a distance that is just right, and it will last longer if it is relaxed.