The guide explained the humorous opening remarks.

Staying in the city for a long time, listening to noise, inhaling tail gas, busy with housework, working, eating and drinking Lazar every day, can be said that my heart is broken, my mouth is worn out, and my body is hardly worn out. Therefore, we should travel frequently, visit bigger cities, cultivate sentiment in green mountains and green waters, and broaden our horizons in historical cities. What is the most important thing in life, not money, not power, I think. The following are five articles I have compiled for you to interpret the humor of tour guides. Welcome to check!

The guide's opening remarks on humor 1

Dear friends:

Hello everyone!

There is a song called "Go home often", and there is a desire to go out often. To put it bluntly, it is tourism.

I stayed in the city for a long time, listening to the noise, inhaling tail gas, busy with housework and work, eating and drinking Lazar every day. It can be said that my heart is broken, my mouth is worn out, and my body is almost exhausted! (Laughter).

Therefore, we should often travel, go to bigger cities, go to Tieling, cultivate our sentiments in the green mountains and green waters, and broaden our horizons in historical cities. What is the most important thing in life, not money, not power, I personally think it is health and happiness! Do you agree? (Everyone understands)

Be sure to find a travel agency when traveling. It is convenient and economical to go out with the travel agency.

But to find a good travel agency, it is best to meet a good tour guide, and a good tour guide can bring you a pleasant trip. Everyone agrees!

But to find a good tour guide, it is best to find a female tour guide. In the green mountains and green waters, there is also a lady who has opened a companion. What a wonderful feeling! Everyone agrees! (Laughter).

But it is better to find a male tour guide than a female tour guide. A strong male tour guide can not only be a tour guide for you, but also be a half bodyguard. If there is an emergency, we will pack our bags and leave.

It is better to find a versatile male tour guide than to find a male tour guide;

It is better to find a versatile male tour guide who can sing and dance.

It is better to find a versatile and eloquent male tour guide than to find a versatile and eloquent male tour guide.

It is better to find a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide than to find a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide;

Looking for a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide, it is better to find a versatile, articulate, well-proportioned and handsome male tour guide!

Do you know how many tour guides there are in China? I tell you, there are 350,000 tour guides in China.

But among these 350,000 tour guides, there are 250,000 female tour guides and only 65,438+10,000 male tour guides.

Among the 654.38 million+male tour guides, only 654.38 million+male tour guides can be called generalists.

1000 among the versatile male tour guides, 1000 can be called versatile and can sing and dance well.

Among 1000 all-round male tour guides who can sing and dance, 100 male tour guides are all-round, good at singing and dancing, and articulate.

This 100 versatile, eloquent male tour guide can be called a versatile, eloquent and well-proportioned male tour guide.

This 10 male tour guide is versatile, good at singing and dancing, eloquent and well-proportioned, and can be called 1.

Among the 300 thousand tour guides, it is very unlikely that we can meet so many talented, good at singing and dancing, eloquent, well-proportioned and handsome male tour guides when we go out.

But today, you are lucky! (Everyone is in an uproar and then laughs.)

I find my friends are very smart now! Next, I will introduce myself.

Guide explains humorous prologue II

There is an advertisement that says: My heart moves with me, and my communication with friends here will start with my self-introduction. I'm a tour guide of Spring Travel Agency. My last name is Wang. You can get used to calling me Wang Dao or Xiao Wang. Xiao Wang is an out-and-out Northeastern, and my main character is warm and generous. So if you have any questions or requirements during the three-day trip, just ask.

The driver Zhang Sifu is also with me, so Zhang Sifu and I can be said to be the best combination in the tourism industry, and it can also be said to be a golden file. You're welcome to say that we are a strong team, so you can not only rest assured, but also feel comfortable and happy by giving us this trip.

Maybe none of the friends here are familiar with the travel agency you joined. Although we are the younger generation who joined the tourism industry this year, from boss to manager to tour guide, we can say that our team experience and operational ability can give you a new understanding of the city's tourism. I hope our participation will bring spring to urban tourism. At the same time, with the support of all the friends present, we still believe that the flowers in spring will bloom and will bloom forever.

So now everyone chooses to travel, not only to broaden their horizons and increase their knowledge, but also to find happiness. So I hope that all of you here will not only smile, but also laugh heartily. I hope that you will not only have one happiness, but also find a hundred reasons to be happy, so that we can pick up the beauty along the way and leave unforgettable memories.

Therefore, a beautiful city and a beautiful scenery should be experienced with a good mood. There is an advertisement that says very well: life is like a trip, you don't have to care about the destination, what you care about is the scenery along the way and the mood of watching the scenery, so that your mind can travel. If you often watch advertisements, you will know that this is an advertisement for cigarettes. Although travel has nothing to do with cigarettes, the last sentence is very good: let's.

Ok, now it takes five hours from here to our destination. It has been calculated that at least one-third of the travel time is wasted on long-distance travel, but I think that only after all of us have passed the limp and expectation will you feel sincerely excited and amazed at a beautiful place. Now is the beginning of our journey.

How to kill these five hours: teach you some tips to kill travel fatigue, maybe you can use them on this trip:

First of all, first of all, you can close your eyes in your seat and have more energy to play after you get refreshed.

Secondly, you can listen to music and relax in the carriage. I think a good mood is a good start for our journey, especially for friends who don't often take long-distance station wagons. I think we can relax our tension.

Third, you can play cards in the carriage and have a good time. I think leisure and entertainment can not only enhance feelings, but also enhance friendship. If you don't like what Xiao Wang said above, you can also look at the scenery outside the window. So we may not have been to some cities, but we passed by, so businesses will have such advertisements: pass by, pass by, don't miss it, don't let the beautiful scenery miss it, hehe.

The opening remarks of the tour guide on humor 3

Two orioles singing green willows, an isolated city, Wan Ren Mountain, are strangers in a foreign land. When the midnight bell rings for a passenger ship, I will naturally be useful. I met her a long time ago, but it's been a long time since we broke up. I want to ask who wrote this poem, not others, but me!

A poem from the Tang Dynasty, hehe. Just kidding!

Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests

The tour begins, and the tour guide pays New Year greetings!

You may not understand how to call you a guest officer first, because water is active and trees are shaded, for a reason. Now everyone is shouting: the customer is God! It wasn't like this in the past. It used to be said that parents are spectators, drivers are passengers, restaurants are diners, brothels are brothels ... this is hard to say. (Laughter).

For our tour guide, parents are all the tourists present. Our tour guide depends on you to get paid, kickbacks and tips, which seriously rob you of RMB in your pocket. But in this world, you can't be sorry for your parents, your own behavior, or your own parents. You can't hurt others for your own benefit. I think this should be everyone's principle, including our tour guide!

I am honored to provide you with tour guide service on this trip. My name is easy to remember:-,"-"is "-","-"is "-"and "-"is "-"(Laughter) From now on. Here, on behalf of the owners, shopkeepers and all the guys of our travel agency, I would also like to welcome all your parents and wish you a safe journey, double happiness, dog days, peace in the four seasons, bumper harvests, good luck in June and June, bright stars, abundant financial resources and a happy journey! (Applause)

My mobile phone number is. Open at any time. If you have any difficulties along the way, you can call me. This is called: To solve the problem, please call the tour guide hotline.

By the way, do you have any friends who get carsick in the car? If so, please say hello to me. I have here "medicine to avoid carsickness", abbreviated as … (pause), carsickness medicine! Hehe, don't think about it. (Laughter).

At the same time, we also provide services for you, including drivers in the driver's seat. The driver is very young, only in his thirties, but he has been driving for more than forty years. (Laughter) At this moment, I saw Master Wu sitting firmly in the driver's seat, as if on pins and needles, with his eyes like electricity, his hands on the steering wheel, his left foot on the clutch, his right hand on the gear, and the accelerator slammed three times. Then I saw the car coming, the wind rushed to the electric engine and went straight to the destination. (Applause) Everyone's travel life must be full of talking and laughing, playing and playing, being affectionate and meaningful, colorful and interesting.

In short, I wish you all happiness, and the years are endless!

Tour guide explains humorous opening remarks 4

Sorry, everyone, you have come to the wrong place, and today's speech has been cancelled; I don't think we need any speeches. What we need is sincere communication. Then, our sincere communication begins today. As soon as you came on stage, you told the audience that today's speech was cancelled. Everyone will be surprised and think about what's going on. At this time, the audience's attention was completely attracted by the speaker, and then the speaker began to say, "Our sincere communication begins today." Next, start the speech. The advantage of this method is that it can quickly catch the attention of the audience. )

"My friends, some people are really well-run, and they speculate well! There is a poem "knowledgeable person" that tells us: the status is not high, but there is a spirit above the head; The official is not big, but the hand is long; Si is a unique skill, only I can gain a foothold; Hold thick legs above and use them for private use below; Bragging is luck, flattery does not touch the needle, you can open the back door and talk about friendship. Without the cells of justice, without the principles and norms, alcohol and tobacco can clear the way, and money can communicate with God. Confucius said,' What is there?' "

My last name is Hu, so what I said next is nonsense. Please don't take it seriously. My surname is Gu. Today is night, and there is a little moonlight in the sky. If you stay with me, you will become Hu, so what I said may be nonsense. Please don't mind!

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome me to the stage. Please applaud those who like me very much. Don't applaud people who like me too much. Thank you for your cooperation …

Guide explains humorous prologue 5

The scenery is beautiful because of you, and the journey is more exciting because of me.

First of all, I want to greet everyone: Dear friends: Good morning! When we met in China, we asked you if you had dinner. Isn't it? Today is no exception. I also want to ask you two short answers first: First, did you sleep well last night? (The guests generally answered: Not good? Get up too early? Did everyone eat the second one this morning? (The guest will answer with a smile: I didn't eat. ) Oh, I didn't know you were all newly added members of ethnic minorities in China! You see, there used to be 56 ethnic groups in our country. Later, it is said that two new ethnic groups appeared in our country. Did you hear the news? Do you all know which two ethnic groups it is? "Lack of sleep" and "Insufficient nutrition" ~ ~ (Laughter by guests) ~ There is a song called "Go home and have a look often", and there is a desire to go out often. To put it bluntly, it is tourism.

Staying in the city for a long time, listening to noise, inhaling tail gas, busy with housework, working, eating and drinking Lazar every day, can be said that my heart is broken, my mouth is worn out, and my body is hardly worn out. Therefore, we should travel frequently, visit bigger cities, cultivate sentiment in green mountains and green waters, and broaden our horizons in historical cities. What is the most important thing in life, not money, not power, I think. Do you agree? (Everyone understands) All right.

Get to the point ~ First of all, on behalf of the travel agency, I would like to thank you for your support and love, and also extend a warm welcome to you on this trip to Huangshan.

First, let me introduce myself. My family name is. You can just call me-Dao or Xiao. Call me.-guide. Sounds more comfortable. Why? As the old saying goes, through thick and thin, we will sleep together for a thousand years. Today, we eat together, travel together and have fun together. We still live together. Well, why do we live together? Some tourists asked, didn't we call it a pony in ancient times? Don't we live together? As long as you need me, I will appear in front of you for the first time.

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