Why do foreign couples divorce as soon as they quarrel, while China couples can quarrel for decades and still be together?

Why do foreign couples divorce as soon as they quarrel, while China couples can quarrel for decades?

There is a simple reason. The reason why foreign couples quarrel lies in feelings, and the reason why China couples quarrel lies in their insistence on responsibility.

For example, a couple around me quarreled because of some problems with their children, but they stopped quarreling after the quarrel? Do you want out? They are all very active in solving problems.

China couples never lack great love for their children, parents, family and other responsibilities, and most of the quarrels caused by these great love will not completely endanger their marriage.

Although this kind of marriage can last longer, it also has limitations. It pays too much attention to great love and ignores the most important thing in marriage? The affection between husband and wife.

Some middle-aged couples even said:? If it weren't for my children and parents, I wouldn't bother to quarrel with each other. ? The longer you get married, the weaker your feelings will become, and finally you will become the most familiar stranger.

The family needs great love to maintain, and the relationship between husband and wife needs little love to moisten, especially these three little loves.

02

The first type: interaction without intimate behavior.

The longer the husband and wife get married, the more worried they are about daily necessities and the less intimate interaction they have.

How long have husband and wife been holding hands? How long has it been since you hugged? How long has it been since you kissed?

Some couples gradually lose the interaction of intimate behavior from middle age, and some couples gradually lose the interaction of intimate behavior from the third and fifth years of marriage.

What's more, because we have been in love for many years before marriage, there has been no intimate interaction since we got married.

Intimacy needs affection, and affection also needs intimacy.

Many times, couples lose intimacy not because they don't love each other, but because they are too busy at a certain stage to ignore each other, and then they will feel shy when they are intimate.

This shyness should not have appeared in marriage. How long has it been since you hugged your partner? Restoring intimacy might as well start with an active hug.

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The second type: don't say love words.

Among couples in China, many couples are more like roommates living under the same roof than lovers.

There is such a joke, a woman said: Before marriage, my husband and I were lovers, and after marriage, my husband and I were brothers. If there were no children, I forgot that we were husband and wife. ?

This joke reflects the real life of many couples.

After marriage, the wife is on the line of housework and children, and the husband is on the line of career and work. They are like parallel lines that are both near and far away. Although they are together every day, there is actually an invisible gap between them.

China people are ashamed to say sweet words, a word? I love you? Everyone should be flushed, even lovers.

What is the most desperate thing in marriage? There is nothing to say, and the beginning of nothing to say is to stop saying love words.

Love talk? I love you? It can also be a concern and praise for each other.

What is the best love word for a husband to his wife? You are so beautiful today. ?

What is the best love story a wife gives her husband? You were great today. ?

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The third type: no surprise and sense of ceremony.

Many couples are busy with life, children and family after marriage, but not the other half.

There is a constant sense of surprise and ceremony when you are in love, and it is as plain as water after marriage.

Some people think:? Love after marriage will soon become friendship and affection, and love only needs surprises. You just need to be practical after marriage. ?

Psychologist Carl? Jung said:? In a good marriage, there must be both love and friendship. ?

When two people get married, it doesn't mean that love must leave, and feelings can also be a combination of various feelings. Marriage needs to be practical, but a good marriage can't just be practical.

Some people may think that surprises and ceremonies are too time-consuming and laborious. Life is so tired, how can you have the energy and time to prepare for surprises?

Many times, it is not that the sense of surprise and ceremony is too difficult, but that there is no idea and no action.

In fact, the surprise and sense of ceremony after marriage can be completely integrated into life. A bouquet of roses on my husband's way to work, a sumptuous dinner prepared by my wife in advance, and a movie on a couple's weekend are all very easy surprises and rituals in life.

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We should not only live, but also live. Marriage needs not only great love, but also small love.

With the same family background and the same standard of living, if the only thing that sustains a marriage is responsibility, then such a marriage will only become boring. If it is not only responsibility but also small love that keeps a marriage, then both parties in the marriage will feel sweet.

Marriage does not mean the end of love, daily necessities need to be managed, and the feelings after marriage need to be managed more!

You can't just rely on one person in the marriage to manage the little love after marriage. After marriage, both men and women should show a little more love for each other. After all, what our other half needs is a husband or a wife, not a person who simply sets up a family with us and assumes family responsibilities? Tool man? .